Half-Orc, Half-What?

My previous post converting half-orcs from AD&D to OD&D remound me of the weirdest piece of half-orc lore from the early editions: that there are many types of half-orcs, of which only a tiny fraction are ever seen, and even fewer made playable. According to the 1E Player's Handbook:

"Orcs are fecund and create many cross-breeds, most of the offspring of such being typically orcish. However, some one-tenth of orc-human mongrels are sufficiently non-orcish to pass for human. Complete details of orcs and cross-breeds will be found under the heading Orc in ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, MONSTER MANUAL.

As it is assumed that player characters which are of half-orc race are within the superior 10%, they have certain advantages." 

- PHB,  17

Turning to the Monster Manual as directed:

"As orcs will breed with anything, there are any number of unsavory mongrels with orcish blood, particularly orc-goblins, orc-hobgoblins, and orc-humans. Orcs cannot cross-breed with elves. Half-orcs tend to favor the orcish strain heavily, so such sorts are basically orcs although they can sometimes (10%) pass themselves off as true creatures of their other stock (goblins, hobgoblins, humans, etc.)." 

- MM, 76

Besides using the word mongrel to describe people, the bit of yikes that always stuck with me was the assumption that playable half-orcs belong to the "superior 10%" that was human enough to pass, and therefore acquire character class levels. The parallels to real life racism and the practice of passing are obvious, but at the same time I suspect this bit was most directly inspired by the nebulous and mysterious groups of half-orcs and goblin-men sneaking around Eriador before and during the War of the Ring in Lord of the Rings. Coincidentally, if you read those passages aloud back-to-back, you can actually hear Saruman the White's skull calipers clicking and clacking in the background as he brews up the perfect squint-eyed southerner to go spy on Bree.

This 10% assumption continued on into AD&D 2E with the Complete Book of Humanoids years later, which is extra weird because everybody and their flind-bar was getting buffs and class levels in that book, including full orcs. The tiers of hybridity only vanished in the Player's Option line where half-orcs were presented without pretext alongside half-elves and half-ogres, at the very end of AD&D's lifespan. But all of 30 people actually read those books farther than the wonky sub-ability scores, so I don't know how much of an impact they had.

I don't mean to imply these are the only half-orcish creatures anywhere in AD&D; only that they're the only playable ones. The ogrillons (orc/ogres), neo-orogs (orc/ogres again except created by Thayan wizards for Science™ this time), tanarukks (orc/demons), and boogins (orc/quaggoths) are all there in their various splatbooks doing their own NPC'y, usually but not exclusively villainous thing. Then there are the losels who are half-orc, half-baboon, and all about to be purged from my brain with a judicious application of bleach.

Anyway, I've decided to bring a few more horcs to the table, figuratively and literally. The traits below can be dropped into existing half-orc chasses, but they don't conform perfectly to any one edition; take them as inspiration for whatever Old or New School game you happen to find it useful for.

D20	Half-Orc, Half...
1	… Goblin. Lean, green, lanky, and janky. Hide as level-3 Thieves.
2	… Hobgoblin. Upright, stern, and imperious. +1 to Saves vs fear and Morale of Hirelings.
3	… Bugbear. Unnervingly quiet for their size, scruffy. Move Silently as level-3 Thieves.
4	… Ogre. Certifiably bigg with two 'g's. +1 to Strength for the purposes of Encumbrance, Open Doors, Bend Bars, etc.
5	… Troll. Only moderately warty. Recover twice as much HP through natural means (rest, a source of regeneration, etc.)
6	… Giant. Roll d6 for Hill, Stone, Fire, Frost, Storm, or Cloud. Throw and catch (25% chance) rocks as sling bullets.
7	… Gnoll. Shaggy and feliform. Keen sense of smell allows Tracking, base chance 50%.
8	… Kobold. Leathery, snaggly-toothed. Ugly-cute. Can compress into very small spaces.
9	… Koalinth. Sleek, scaly and fanged. Can hold breath for Con rounds.
10	… Cyclops. +2 to Reaction Rolls with religious orcs for being “Omens of Gruumsh”. Also surprisingly good at cheesemaking.
11	… Alaghi. Hirsute bordering on furry, may have little horns. Huge, meaty fists deal 1d6 damage.
12	… Minotaur. Definitely has little horns. 75% chance not to get lost underground or indoors.
13	… Satyr. Particularly bacchic. Goat legs give +25% movement when able to leap and bound.
14	… Grimlock. Bat ears and deeply recessed eyes. Sharp hearing gives -1 to Surprise.
15	… Norker. Rindy and toothy like a dried-out old walrus. Improve natural AC by 1.
16	… Gnome. Speak with Animals 1/day, but only with wolves, dire boars, and similar.
17	… Dwarf. Built like a green cylinder of bone, muscle, and attitude. +1 to Saves vs magic.
18	… Halfling. Sometimes mistaken for tusked goblins. +2 to Saves vs ingested poisons, and hungry enough to need it.
19	… Elf. A magical impossibility. Also, icky. Resistance and door detection as human/elves.
20	… Mongrelfolk. A visual and mechanical mishmash of 2 of the above, rerolling repeats.