tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12770166056860151452024-03-29T11:42:41.005-04:00The Furtive Goblin's BurrowA blog about random fantasy odds and ends, world-building through pseudo-academic snark articles, and the ramblings of an agoraphobic goblin living in Upstate New York.The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.comBlogger199125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-85873713933161587982024-03-29T11:24:00.004-04:002024-03-29T11:25:29.024-04:00Let's Dig Into: Talislanta 4E<p style="text-align: left;">It's time for a less indie but still not quite mainstream RPG that has recently captured my interest: Talislanta. Originally this was going to be part of the "New System, New Face" series until I realized how ill a fit that would be, which we'll get into later. But even without character generation shenanigans, I feel this game is very worthy of going over.</p><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvlf9lfa7Y-TMierHbG6bnLM35Wxe78tKsM75b6WSWxqsycpIdPUxq4apjE-ie6LxL2Vja-Bgb0axwN6LD8UeGVKKhiikIvnLu4kA6iB2YDU-GFtWUU109JDBz1_hMOsz86S1xRBq0lH-amvuphGx6OjwHqZZFNOdi9TUEs9cezt1qlcfZQ5VbPJdOvc/s1668/Talislanta%204E.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1668" data-original-width="1295" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEvlf9lfa7Y-TMierHbG6bnLM35Wxe78tKsM75b6WSWxqsycpIdPUxq4apjE-ie6LxL2Vja-Bgb0axwN6LD8UeGVKKhiikIvnLu4kA6iB2YDU-GFtWUU109JDBz1_hMOsz86S1xRBq0lH-amvuphGx6OjwHqZZFNOdi9TUEs9cezt1qlcfZQ5VbPJdOvc/s320/Talislanta%204E.png" width="248" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's gonna get quirky.</td></tr></tbody></table></div><p style="text-align: left;">In 1987, after several trips and false starts, a tiny publisher named Bard Games, headed by a weird and eclectic saxophonist named Stephen Michael Sechi, released the first edition of the Talislanta roleplaying game. It would become semi-famous, or at least an enduring cult classic, both for its fresh setting compared to many other TTRPGs on the market in the late '80s, and for its stubborn refusal to die, like so many other titles of that era did.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You can read my unnecessarily long-winded post about the history of the game as an IP in the companion piece over <b><a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2024/03/a-boring-history-lesson-on-much-more.html">here</a></b>, when I finally finish it.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Talislanta 4th Edition is the version of the game that I'm most familiar with, and which seems to enjoy the most popularity online at the moment. So that's what I'm going to be focusing on in this post, where I actually look at the gamey bits.</p><p style="text-align: left;">If you want to read along, or if you want to learn about the game without the filter of my yapping, note that digital copies of all of the old editions of Talislanta are <a href="http://talislanta.com/talislanta-library">available for free forever</a> because Sechi released them under the Creative Commons license.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The World</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Talislanta distinguished itself from other fantasy worlds of the time with its relative lack of inspiration/derivation from Tolkien or European mythology, in favor of a slightly more exotic and more obviously post-apocalyptic feel (not to say that LotR isn't a post-apocalypse story).</p><p style="text-align: left;">It's more influenced by Horror Person Lovecraft's <i>Dreamquest of Unknown Kadath</i> (my favorite thing by Lovecraft ever, partly because the fussy Cheez-It eater hated the story himself) and Jack Vance's <i>Dying Earth</i> setting- though interestingly, this did not extend to pilfering Vance's magic system like certain other games of the time were doing.</p><p>In the backstory of Talislanta, the eponymous continent (located on the world of Archaeus, orbiting a binary star system somewhere in an unknown galaxy) was dominated for eons by the First Folk. The First Folk were a mysterious and vaguely amphibian/reptilian species that existed long before mammals. Eventually mammalian peoples called the Wild Races (sometimes derisively called "sub-men") evolved and stumbled ass-backwards into an ancient crashed alien spaceship, where they learned magic. One of the Wild Races then used magic to forcibly unite their brethren, overthrow the First Folk, and begin a millennia-spanning golden age as the Archaen Empire.</p><p>No, it's not 'Archaean' like I am constantly having to stop myself from typing here.</p><p>Like all despotic magocratic empires, the Archaen Empire eventually did something to wreck the planet. Details are vague, but it's believed they did something with just a little bit too much magical energy in their floating sky-cities that sent them hurtling from orbit and nuking large sections of the continent in an event known as The Great Disaster.</p><p>Six centuries later, the world is still toast, but things have settled down enough to start moving around again. Sure, much of the land is still mutant-choked wasteland or so magically irradiated that normal weather phenomena include "black lightning" or "icicle rain", and the number of super-powered plants and insects rivals a Dark Sun monster manual, but that can all be managed by a couple of weirdo drifters, no problem! It's an optimistic and enthusiastically adventure-friendly apocalypse.</p><p>I am barely scratching the surface here, though. Out of the 500+ pages in the 4th edition rulebook, over 300 of them are dedicated to a traveler's guide to Talislanta told from the perspective of the kooky mage Tamerlin. This is sandwiched between ~100 pages of rules up front and the remaining 80 or so of GM advice, tables, and appendices in back. The world is the heart of the book, as well as the game.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The People</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Talislanta advertisements past and present proudly proclaim that the game contains "NO ELVES" (or dwarves, or orcs, or any other standard fantasy species). This tagline is hilarious to me for how narrowly, technically true it is, though Talislanta does deliver a markedly different flavor of fantasy that I find interesting.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Dozens of humanoid and not-so-humanoid species are descended from the Wild Races, Archaen survivors, magical hybrids and experiments, and extraplanar entities that came into existence over the course of the past few ages, and the vast majority of them are playable. Some of them are quite unique, like the giant mollusk philosophers called Snipes, chill anthropomorphic Mogroth sloths, or a person from the Marukan culture that has been generationally cursed to always be poor, depressed dung merchants. I'm pretty sure one of the editions even lets you play an Equs, which is literally just an intelligent lizard-horse.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Other options seem visually unique at first glance, but thematically fit into one or more of the slots normally occupied by more standard fantasy creatures. About a half-dozen are essentially humans with different cultures and different technicolor skin tones like green or purple; the Kang are Blizzard Orcs who look like red reptile people; the Ur are Tolkien Orcs who look like Blizzard Orcs; Thralls are like Dark Sun's Mulls except albino and tattooed to hell; and the Ariane are mystical enlightened precursors who look identical to the Drow of other games, and are so excruciatingly elvish that TVTropes just sticks them under that trope heading in the article.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Tropes aren't bad, though. Having some of the familiar around helps accentuate the weirdness of the rest of the world's flavor. It also serves a gameplay function by getting player archetypes and their attendant flavors and concepts out the door and into the player's creative headspace quickly and easily.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Speaking of archetypes...</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Archetypes</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Talislanta is a classless game. Instead it has archetypes, which are similar to the starting packages and character backgrounds we've seen in games like d100 systems or Soulslike vidyas. Each archetype is a combination of species, abilities, starting skills, possessions, and explicit or implied history such as profession or societal role. They occupy half a page each, and mostly consist of second-person lore snippets and a headshot.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-CIFoNIO0hZfKHbEmBQtayWLxPuik7KCD2cISeyB3eeL9dvDMF-RoZvdcwRBtfQH6SyfsBqs7fgPint7auSflolLNZioI1zOA4JlWTjiBVSMLTdNgp_lvdq3YPnQNGzdWj-hyqPWotAa1NrofJBw0hJZPa4xw9pn9u9nB01j46v8AS3j8FN9xkuhTAUA/s814/Kharakhan%20Giant.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="521" data-original-width="814" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-CIFoNIO0hZfKHbEmBQtayWLxPuik7KCD2cISeyB3eeL9dvDMF-RoZvdcwRBtfQH6SyfsBqs7fgPint7auSflolLNZioI1zOA4JlWTjiBVSMLTdNgp_lvdq3YPnQNGzdWj-hyqPWotAa1NrofJBw0hJZPa4xw9pn9u9nB01j46v8AS3j8FN9xkuhTAUA/w400-h256/Kharakhan%20Giant.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Side note, I love these giant goobers and want to set aside<br />my hatred of all food long enough to give them snacks.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: left;">They're simple, easy to approach, and just picking one constitutes the majority of actual character creation in most editions of Talislanta. You could probably use it in place of a proper character sheet in a pinch. Next, you can raise or lower a few of your attributes and make skill selections allowed by your archetype to personalize your character, before going on to shopping and doing the finishing details. Notably (for me, at least) there are no derived attributes in 4E, unlike previous editions and many other d20 games.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Archetypes are why I can't exactly make a New Face using 4E, because it'd be the shortest post I've ever made. But as soon as I get more familiar with the 5th edition (of Talislanta, not the D&D 5E adaptation of Talislanta, which is a separate game that also exists, I know it's confusing) I'll definitely fiddle around with the point-based character building rules there.</p><p style="text-align: left;">There are over 100 archetypes to choose from in the core book, even excluding the NPC-only options. Speaking of which, I think those are kind of a silly imposition. The game does not care about balance from the outset; different archetypes have wildly varying power levels right out the gate, and the game wears this on its sleeve as another manifestation of its flavorful weirdness. But certain archetypes are singled out as for NPCs only in the book, and the choices feel arbitrary. Some are a little weaker overall or less geared up to start adventuring, while others might be more unusual to see abroad considering their society, but so what? Why withhold this tiny shred of player freedom?</p><p style="text-align: left;">He asked rhetorically while acting like "just ignore the NPC tag" isn't an option.</p><p style="text-align: left;">After picking one, you don't have to conform to your archetype, and your character can grow in any direction you choose. Your Snipe Sage can embark on the path of a savage brawler, or your Kharakhan Giant can try their huge, calloused hand at magic. You can't alter your starting attributes after character creation (not even hit points, in a weirdly TROIKA!-esque design choice), but skills are unlimited. Overcoming your archetype's inherent deficiencies and specializing into something unusual is just a matter of time, and surviving long enough to get XP for your next skill rank.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But before I launch into how to get and spend XP, I should probably touch on how the game is actually played.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The Action Table</h4><p style="text-align: left;">I might find the gameplay of Talislanta more compelling than its setting. Across all editions of the game (besides the d20 system offshoots), there is one central mechanic for basically every action and reaction a character can take. Appropriately enough, this is called the Action Table.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuqal-5_4K4K_GjdyuZzuvVENwvpm_-SUUEWjcrw5cmVgGgBBsTNBT6HYiXChU-7tDXc1D7QVLUpbjPsFwxSLGVys3nIllfnGB3cmNzEinJlD3xCOlFtl7zCJRKq448OkwEDl_ultQ1c3ZRaCLXMXXKW8QZZsLL2Pif-vhjUuJh4Ob0ODo0qaTOiAX5L0/s496/Talislanta%20Action%20Table.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="496" data-original-width="496" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuqal-5_4K4K_GjdyuZzuvVENwvpm_-SUUEWjcrw5cmVgGgBBsTNBT6HYiXChU-7tDXc1D7QVLUpbjPsFwxSLGVys3nIllfnGB3cmNzEinJlD3xCOlFtl7zCJRKq448OkwEDl_ultQ1c3ZRaCLXMXXKW8QZZsLL2Pif-vhjUuJh4Ob0ODo0qaTOiAX5L0/s320/Talislanta%20Action%20Table.png" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">The Action Table is a single d20 roll that functions on <i>intent</i>. How well you roll explains how well you succeed at the thing you wanted to do, possibly with unforeseen good or bad consequences. That's right; Talislanta's been dabbling in the "fail forward" philosophy since the 1980s.</p><p style="text-align: left;">What you want to do also determines which skill, attribute, and/or miscellaneous modifier is most appropriate to add to/subtract from the roll. Instead of meeting variable DCs like in other d20 systems, here the situational difficulty of an action is expressed through a Degree of Difficulty modifier that can range from +10 (trivially easy) to -15 ("beyond extreme" as the book calls it).</p><p style="text-align: left;">Once you tally your mods and roll, you compare it to the Action Table and the GM arbitrates the results. Some have clear precedent in the written rules, like how a Partial Success on an attack roll might result in dealing half its damage rating to the target. Others are up to more flexible interpretation, like how a Mishap while leaping between rooftops could consist of wonking your face on the far ledge before falling all the way down.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You can also accept a stacking -5 penalty to take multiple actions per turn until you roll a Mishap, which creates an interesting dynamic where you have to strategize and decide how much you want to press your luck. Because taking multiple turns at once is awesome, but if you fail it could backfire spectacularly and erase some or all of your erstwhile success. </p><p style="text-align: left;">The complications and windfalls are very dependent upon GM arbitration, but the direction for the action to go in and the rolls themselves are entirely player-facing. This extends to combat, where players roll defenses like Dodge or Parry against enemy actions, and things like weapons and armor are passive modifiers to the Action Table or its results.</p><p style="text-align: left;">What you end up with is a game that shifts player responsibility around and switches up the cadence of the player-GM conversation compared to D&D, without any real radical changes.</p><p style="text-align: left;">It's a sleek system, and I wanna steal it for something someday.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You might notice a similarity between this and the unified system of True20, like what Blue Rose uses. They have quite a bit in common, including the lack of emphasis on any other die size besides d20. Talislanta does use a more robust skill list however, and True20 hangs onto many elements of the basic 3E d20 system that Talislanta is not beholden to (unless of course you're playing the Talislanta d20 or the upcoming Talislanta for D&D 5E versions).</p><p style="text-align: left;">Also unlike the other not-quite-d20 games is how Talislanta handles magic, as I alluded to earlier.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Magic</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Magic in Talislanta has seen better days- or worse, depending on how you view the multiple apocalypses that have happened thanks to rampant misuse of the arcane. Magic as it is practiced now is weaker and less understood than in the Archaen days, and as such there are certain things that magic is incapable of doing. You can't control time, blend two orders or modes of magic together at once, revive the dead, or create new life wholesale. These are hard limits that cap the magical shenanigans you can expect in the game, making magicians less game- or world-breaking than your average wizards or CoDZillas. Unless of course the GM decides to start handing out old Archaen magic...</p><p style="text-align: left;">Magic in 4E is essentially an extension of the skill system that uses the exact same Action Table. You learn different "orders" of magic that are best thought of as different ways of conceiving of magic, and styles in which that magic is harnessed; they are the sum of cultural traditions, taboos, and local mythologies. Example orders include elemental magic, shamanism, necromancy, cartomancy, witchcraft, etc.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Orders are mechanically differentiated by the advantages and disadvantages they possess, like cartomancy being very discreet and quiet, but requiring a deck of Zodar cards to function at all. They also have a unique class of enchanted item that can only be made by that order, like special wands or protective medallions tuned to the order's style of magic. Each order also has a list of available modes, and the bonuses and penalties that they give to each.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Modes are 12 forms that magic effects can take: alter, attack, conjure, defend, heal, illusion, influence, move, reveal, summon, transform, and ward. These may resemble schools of magic from other systems, but instead of being lists of specific, thematically related spells, each mode is essentially the guidelines for creating your own custom spells of that type on the fly. Some modes can also be reversed like the OD&D spells of old, such as summon spells being reversible to banish summoned entities. The book gives a few example spells for each order, but they're really only there to get you thinking about how to produce your own magical effects.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Amusingly, in-universe this is not how magic works. Instead, each Talislantan magician is assumed to have memorized hundreds of discrete little spells that they pull from on the fly like the world's most flexible Vancian mage, and players are encouraged to come up with evocative names for each as a way of fleshing out their identity as a magic-user. It's purely a gameplay contrivance that we the players design all of our spells on our own.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I think they should have made freeform magic the case for the lore too; it's just more interesting and fits the world better.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Custom spells operate on intent and require a roll on the Action Table like everything else, with bonuses or penalties depending upon how strong, specific, long-lasting, broad, etc. the desired effect is. For example, say a magician wants to cast an illusion spell. They increase the spell level according to how long a range (in 50' increments) they want for the spell, duration (for every round above 5), and how many features the spell has; extra senses affected, animation, complex elements, etc. More stuff means you roll with a bigger penalty.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Even the biggest modes that have multiple optional spell features are never longer than 1 page each, which means there's little bookkeeping. And since you acquire new modes the same way you do skills—by spending XP and many in-narrative weeks training—you're likely to gain more spells at a very gradual rate that lets you get used to each mode, and find creative uses for them.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Other Skills</h4><p style="text-align: left;">The rest of the game's skills cover almost everything else that isn't casting spells or killing folks. They range from climbing, to engineering, to fluency in individual languages (including a universal sign language, which might be the first one I've seen in a fantasy TTRPG), to oddities like fashion sense or playing Trivarian, which is a weird abstract 'game' of skill unique to the two-brained Sindaran species.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But what I like the most is that they devised little nets for some of the gaps between listed skills, since those can never be exhaustive in a game limited only by the creativity of its players and the tolerance for nonsense of its referee. No matter how hard the writers try, there will always be edge cases. To help with that, they came up with Backgrounds.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Backgrounds are your character's choice of, well, background. Nomadic, Rural, Urban, and Wandering characters are each assumed to have basic familiarity with tasks and concepts important to the environments in which they grew up. As such, they each function as fallback skills for broadly applicable categories; if you aren't skilled in <i>anything</i> else appropriate for the situation at hand, you might be able to justify a roll on your Background skill.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">And That's It</h4><p style="text-align: left;">The game is deceptively simple and easy to pick up despite the weight of the tome it comes in. Other books in the edition flesh out more areas of the game and world, and many of the resources from previous (and even later) editions are mostly compatible with 4E. But you really don't need much to get started with Talislanta.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-47540778158290216442024-03-29T11:24:00.003-04:002024-03-29T11:25:08.163-04:00A Boring History Lesson on the Much More Interesting Talislanta, the Game That Won't Die<p>I started writing about Talislanta a few weeks ago and realized I was cramming way too many things into a single post again, so I've decided to split the wordcount up a bit.</p><p>You can read the more gamey bits <b><a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2024/03/lets-dig-into-talislanta-4e.html">here</a></b> once those are finished.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIB39Jhuw8R4acIvxM0HJQF91vUVbfiH2Mu4lIiqeT6UYTOTzKIe_MG6e8dkQQH5t9vq7KtO0SWe4iR4SN9hFJTcZANBgm5ZuK1nVB3L3A24Fv3LMge4UZuSKopaUVeM_G-DTWiIy31N9fK9pe24VkwGn5sxb0t_MsdsETFy1Vzk3vauPXJet5BV8gypw/s1062/SvLpjuI.jpeg"><img border="0" data-original-height="1062" data-original-width="805" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIB39Jhuw8R4acIvxM0HJQF91vUVbfiH2Mu4lIiqeT6UYTOTzKIe_MG6e8dkQQH5t9vq7KtO0SWe4iR4SN9hFJTcZANBgm5ZuK1nVB3L3A24Fv3LMge4UZuSKopaUVeM_G-DTWiIy31N9fK9pe24VkwGn5sxb0t_MsdsETFy1Vzk3vauPXJet5BV8gypw/w304-h400/SvLpjuI.jpeg" width="304" /></a></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">1st Edition</h4><p>In 1987, after several trips and false starts, a tiny publisher named Bard Games, headed by a weird and eclectic saxophonist named Stephen Michael Sechi, released the first edition of the Talislanta roleplaying game. It distinguished itself from other fantasy worlds of the time with its relative lack of inspiration and/or derivation from Tolkien or European mythology, in favor of a slightly more exotic and more obviously post-apocalyptic feel (not to say that LotR isn't a post-apocalypse story).</p><p>It's more influenced by Horror Person Lovecraft's <i>Dreamquest of Unknown Kadath</i> (my favorite thing by Lovecraft ever, partly because the fussy Cheez-It eater hated the story himself) and Jack Vance's <i>Dying Earth</i> setting- though interestingly, this did not extend to pilfering Vance's magic system like certain other games of the time were doing.</p><p>To simplify greatly, Talislanta is a game of optimistic post-apocalypse. The world was trashed by the fall of a magical empire 600 years prior in a Great Disaster, leaving the world scarred and full of magical aberration. You pick your character from dozens of archetypes ranging from mage-hunters, to mutants, to lizard people, to hyper-intelligent snails, and have yourself a Weird Fantasy adventure with occasional magitech and airships thrown in.</p><p>From its inception Talislanta was played using a skills-based resolution system where every action is decided using a single d20 roll on the Action Table. The Action Table operates on intent, and weighs the outcome against what you wanted to happen with possible mishaps or unforeseen bonuses depending on how bad or well you roll. It was consciously streamlined in a way that most systems making use of the d20 in the '80s were not.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">2nd Edition</h4><p>Between 1988 and 1990 a series of Talislanta books was published that updated the game to second edition piecemeal. These were small rules revisions, additional character backgrounds, some optional systems for edge cases of gameplay like mass combat, etc. These books were then collated into a single gamebook plus a world atlas. As far as new editions go it was a rather mild update, on par with the AD&D 1E to 2E jump.</p><p>Bard Games then went out of business.</p><p>That would have been the end of the story of Talislanta, if not for the timely arrival of a plucky young TTRPG company that had just recently emerged on the scene and was looking to grow its modest catalogue. The company decided to go out on a limb and buy the license to publish a new edition of Talislanta in collaboration with Sechi in 1992.</p><p>That company?</p><p>Wizards of the fricking Coast.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">3rd Edition</h4><p>At this point WotC were a brand new company that only had one other game, <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Primal_Order">The Primal Order</a></i>, to their name. Hell, they hadn't even started Magic: The Gathering yet. What a weird, small world we live in. And what a glimpse into what could have been. Imagine if they had stuck with Talislanta or other weird little games like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everway">Everway</a> instead of snapping up D&D and going the way they did.</p><p>Regardless, this gave Talislanta another lease on life, and for 2 more years WotC published the third edition of the game. The differences in this edition were more pronounced, shifting the game away from a purely skills-based system to one that combined skills and more traditional character level progression. The timeline also advanced 20 years, with new developments and subplots that found their way into some of the first full-length adventures for the game, also published under WotC.</p><p>WotC then dropped Talislanta in 1994 and pivoted to other projects like MtG, which proved to be explosively popular at the previous year's Gen Con.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Anniversary Edition</h4><p>The license shifted hands again then, to a small Canadian company named Daedalus Entertainment. Daedalus' only other RPG was <i>Feng Shui</i> but their primary focus was on the collectible card game <i>Shadowfist</i>, which shared a universe with Feng Shui. It was kind of a weird urban fantasy <i>Legend of Five Rings</i> situation. It seemed like the trend of a new edition with every new publisher would continue with Daedalus, but development of the next Talislanta languished for years, and eventually the CCG crash of 1997 bankrupted the company with no new Talislanta published.</p><p>But 1997 was an auspicious year. It would be Talislanta's 10th anniversary, and Sechi hoped to have a new book out in honor of the date. So he shopped the license around a little more, and eventually found Pharos Press. I'd never heard of them before, and they don't even have a Wikipedia page these days, but they seem most notable for publishing the first edition of <i>Nobilis</i> back in the day. Pharos got to work, but production was plagued by setbacks that delayed publication repeatedly, until finally 1997 came and went with only a mostly-finished new edition extant in the form of a handful of ashcan prints.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">4th Edition</h4><p>Sechi and Pharos Press split after that failure. Apparently Sechi took some of the ashcans with him, because when the publisher Shooting Iron took over, they based their version of Talislanta on the unpublished Pharos draft, to the point that the failed 10th Anniversary edition and the successful fourth edition of 2001 are mostly identical. Or at least that's the usual claim that people, including Sechi himself, have made; the ashcan copies are extremely rare, and I don't believe they've ever been scanned and uploaded to the internet, so I haven't been able to take a look for myself.</p><p>When people talk about how Talislanta is the game that just won't die, this is what they mean. Every time a deal falls through or a publisher up and evaporates, it springs up in another mutation of itself somewhere else. And this isn't because of some massive fandom clamoring for more. Don't get me wrong, Talislanta has always had very devoted fans. But they've always been more of a cult following due to the game's relative lack of mass appeal compared to the leviathans that came to dominate the industry. Yet they've shown up for the game year after year and helped carry it forward into the new century. Sechi's stubborn determination to manifest his game the way he's envisioned it certainly helps, too.</p><p>Talislanta fourth edition scrapped the character level mechanic of third edition, refined its magic system to be more freeform and versatile, and reined in most of the bits of NPC-centric metaplot that started to become prominent in third edition. You will sometimes see it written online that Talislanta <i>refuses</i> to have a metaplot, but I think it's more accurate to say they tried it early on, found it didn't work super well with the rest of the game, and then dropped the idea. Whatever the reason though, Talislanta took a step back and tried to become more evergreen with its content at a time when years-long adventure paths and character-focused stories with their own continuities and regular installments of new lore were becoming the norm.</p><p>Shooting Iron published Talislanta materials until 2005, at which point it relinquished the license. But instead of languishing in development hell for years again, Talislanta quickly and successfully changed hands to Morrigan Press, which then published a slew of fourth edition material. It took 18 years, but the game finally had a peaceful transfer of publisher power!</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Talislanta d20</h4><p>Morrigan Press was perhaps the most prolific of all Talislanta publishers. It released about a dozen titles for fourth edition in 2005-2006, as well as an OGL d20 adaptation of the game. They even blurred the lines between the two parallel versions of the game by including dual stats for both games for their monsters in the 4th edition <i>Talislanta Menagerie</i>.</p><p>Everybody and their auntie was scrambling to shoehorn their IP into a d20 book in an attempt to ride the wave of almost-mainstream success enjoyed by D&D 3E at the time, no matter how weird the fit was. I call this the 3E Gold Rush, for lack of a better name. It's unsurprising that even Talislanta joined ranks with such names as Iron Kingdoms, Farscape, and World Wrestling Entertainment. If it sold well, it could have buoyed the IP as a whole.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_ohE1B0vuMp5cbkHveVsOes9IeXZx6KEUUGeySYr6ZwbOZ6Rv7s3MG9bY9GeqZmZzt1sZgHASV-WF1GGcIwp8Vv1v-61AxYt-XwyN52GQ-TMt9XkNJJ3psFNAzitmw-SzHZgp7mSR7VxLbMLavkSzybPPO_7Hc-dFgzUzMO5fAOhOOsxEd8Q6s9Hz6kY/s634/show-pic.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="634" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_ohE1B0vuMp5cbkHveVsOes9IeXZx6KEUUGeySYr6ZwbOZ6Rv7s3MG9bY9GeqZmZzt1sZgHASV-WF1GGcIwp8Vv1v-61AxYt-XwyN52GQ-TMt9XkNJJ3psFNAzitmw-SzHZgp7mSR7VxLbMLavkSzybPPO_7Hc-dFgzUzMO5fAOhOOsxEd8Q6s9Hz6kY/s320/show-pic.jpg" width="252" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did anybody actually play this one, or was it only used<br />as episode fodder by early YouTube gaming channels?<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p>The d20 version tries its best to emulate the other edition within 3.5E without shaking too much up, but even at a glance it's not the same. I might give it a full blog post comparison someday, but for now I'll leave it at a few observations.</p><p>Only some of the playable cultures in the base games make the cut in d20, although balance between them is as stylistically wonky as in the source material. There's a "Restricted Classes" rule that some species have that is never explained anywhere in the book. Are they forbidden from playing that class entirely? Can they only not start as one at 1st level? Is it a matter of class level caps? They never state. </p><p>Some of the classes they wrote or retooled are interesting choices, like removing rage from Barbarians and making them more wilderness warriors with a few Ranger abilities. Others raise my eyebrow in suspicion, because I think they were stolen from other third-party d20 books.</p><p>Take for example the Scout class' 15th level ability, Heroic Sacrifice, which lets you continue to fight even after being reduced to -10 hit points, not dying until the end of combat. It's unusual, flavorful, rules-wonky, and almost identical to the 15th level Borderer class ability from the <i>Conan the Roleplaying Game</i>, another d20 book first published in 2003.</p><p>I recognized such a weirdly specific "your wilderness scout's ability is to die for your friends" class feature immediately from my days when I gave a crap about the Hyborian Age. It's very clearly ripped from it and then slightly tweaked. Heck, even the way the text is formatted in each book cuts some of the words up in identical ways.</p><p>Don't get me wrong, I'm not decrying Morrigan Press' writers here. I don't think they did anything especially wrong by copying an ability from another OGL property; that's kind of the reason why we have those licenses to begin with. Some of the Conan stuff was <i>extremely</i> shallow and in the spirit of the 3E cash-in craze too, for fairness' sake. It's just kind of weird and funny to me.</p><p>They do an admirable job trying to port freeform magic over without falling back on Vancian magic, which I fully expected them to do for an OGL game. But it's a good job achieving what's ultimately an imperfect fit, and it leaves the d20 skill system begging for even greater abuse than usual; modes of magic are skills in this version of the game, you see, and d20 skills can be... janky.</p><p>Also the book suffers from a few editing issues, like the unforgiveable "Gamemaster's Only" chapter heading.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">5th Edition</h4><p>After dipping their toes in d20 for a bit, Morrigan Press returned to more traditional Talislanta in 2006, but in yet another form; fifth edition. It is largely a continuation of previous Talislanta rules, with some minor alterations like a magic rework, and some big ones like the point-based character building system. The builder brought Talislanta in line with many other skill-based RPGs, but it also took something that was somewhat unique and appealing about Talislanta—character archetypes—and relegated them to a mere optional rule buried toward the back of the book. It wasn't a fanbase breaker, but among the criticisms made about fifth edition, this was among the biggest.</p><p>And I slightly agree? I know that sounds weird coming from the guy who abhors impositions like race/class limits or race-as-class. Don't get me wrong, I would 100% enjoy building a character from scratch (and probably will in a New System, New Face post sometime). But the bundles of abilities, gear, and lore that archetypes are were designed in a fun way that help add to the characterization of the world without locking players into a single gameplay path, similar to how Dark Souls starting classes work.</p><p>If archetypes <i>were</i> limiting in the long-term the way D&D classes are, or if Talislanta the game was intended to be played with universes other than Talislanta the setting, I'd welcome the change fully. But that isn't the case, so I am left feeling a very slight amount of loss from the change.</p><p>Perhaps the changes in fifth edition played a part, or perhaps there was a lot else going on behind the scenes, but the end result is that in 2008 Morrigan Press went out of business, as so many other publishers of Talislanta tend to do. The curse returned, and for almost a decade the game laid dormant.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Talislanta: The Savage Land</h4><p>But Talislanta isn't only a game. It dabbled in short stories since the '90s, with the release of the <i>Tales of Talislanta</i> anthology. And in 2015 Talislanta returned to narrative storytelling via graphic novel.</p><p>In the <i>Tales of the Savage Lands</i> web comic, Sechi and artist Ben Dennett tell the story of the Vandar endling Severus as he tries to survive in the Age of Confusion immediately following the Great Disaster that ended the world. It's a story of loss, struggle for survival, and the sheer smoldering ruin of the world, quite unlike the tone of modern Talislanta. The comic was eventually completed, taken down, and then published for sale with the help of a Kickstarter as <i>The Savage Land - The Graphic Novel</i> in 2017.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrxhDxl5nos7qETncsqTHE6zKAKYCY5liNqL0m-7enaCNbkalcUQnt8I9pHojyEVTNEtvaBb36uj3ZYzzV-F_xLUdLGtCzWYGkr__4XzvQ0UT7u-r99hXk246TtOkBpOl6RZewB1Itqoy7gcaR076x7HPbOkfopJvmHqeTbuf7-jEmE2KhPMZeAC0aQ4/s2716/benben-tal-02.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2716" data-original-width="1920" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrxhDxl5nos7qETncsqTHE6zKAKYCY5liNqL0m-7enaCNbkalcUQnt8I9pHojyEVTNEtvaBb36uj3ZYzzV-F_xLUdLGtCzWYGkr__4XzvQ0UT7u-r99hXk246TtOkBpOl6RZewB1Itqoy7gcaR076x7HPbOkfopJvmHqeTbuf7-jEmE2KhPMZeAC0aQ4/s320/benben-tal-02.jpg" width="226" /></a></div><p>Savage Land served as a distant prequel to the modern age of Talislanta, as well as the first car in a new Talislanta hype-train. Also in 2017 Sechi teamed up with Nocturnal Media, headed by Stewart Wieck, one of the founders of White Wolf, of all people. Their mission was to turn the Savage Land setting into a new edition of Talislanta.</p><p>They started a Kickstarter campaign with an ambitious goal: a new Talislanta book, x5. First, they would publish the nearly complete Savage Land for normal Talislanta rules. Then, they would port it to D&D 5E, Savage Worlds, Pathfinder RPG 1E, <i>and</i> OpenD6.</p><p>The KS launched on March 29, 2017, coinciding with the game's 30th anniversary. It started off good and got better, funding in ~12 hours and steadily blowing through stretch goals day after day before totaling just under $70k (out of an initial goal of $10k) a month later. Things were on the up-and-up, and it looked like the shotgun approach would work.</p><p>Of course, this being Talislanta, that couldn't last for long.</p><p>First, Stewart Wieck died in June, throwing the continued existence of Nocturnal Media into jeopardy. Then, it became clear that despite funding very successfully, the project had bitten off more than it could chew: the number of orders placed by Talislanta's devoted fans could not justify porting The Savage Land to every system they had planned. Savage Worlds and Pathfinder had to be scrapped, leaving just the Talislanta, 5E, and D6 versions. Somewhat understandably, a wave of refunds quickly followed as people who had wanted those specific books backed out. Then, somebody linked a spambot to the refund survey form and spoiled all of the response data, forcing the whole process to start over again.</p><p>This was in addition to a host of other, more minor issues like BackerKit glitches, delays in printing and fulfillment, and all the other stuff you tend to get with big Kickstarter projects.</p><p>But in spite of all of the screwups and bad luck, Talislanta: The Savage Land launched in 2019.</p><p>... Aaand since I didn't back the KS and I don't happen to have $50USD to burn comparing and contrasting the three different books, I have to keep actual details of this edition to a minimum.</p><p>I never said I was a <i>good</i> historian.</p><p>But! I do know a few things for certain.</p><p>Savage Land expands the scope of gameplay by including an optional campaign mode where each PC is the leader of a tribe struggling to survive in this new dark age. Leading, protecting, and helping your tribes flourish can allow you to eventually forge larger polities that can then exert their will on the continent at large, enforcing the 'order' of empire on the vacuum left behind by the sudden and literal fall of the Archaens.</p><p>It can even set the stage for your own custom campaign in modern Talislanta, where the actions of one party and their tribes can fundamentally shape the face of the world for the folks who come along 600 years later.</p><p>The Great Disaster has also caused a rash of anti-magician prejudice, which causes the prequel to be a lower-magic setting compared to modern Talislanta. You can still use magic if you so choose, but your character has a higher chance of being killed by an angry mob than you might normally expect.</p><p>Going into the 2020s (and all the existential <i>fun</i> those have been so far), I might've expected Talislanta to coast along with this new edition for a few years, publishing a handful more books before reentering dormancy, like it always does. Not so.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">6th/Epic/Final Edition</h4><p>Last year saw a <a href="https://gamefound.com/en/projects/cbatarlis/talislanta">campaign to fund the 6th edition of Talislanta</a>, also known as the Epic Edition for the name of its new publisher, Everything Epic, who also seems to have inherited rights to all of The Savage Lands products after Nocturnal Media shifted to focusing on its outstanding projects in the wake of Wieck's death.</p><p>6E/Epic is intended to be a greatest hits album of every edition up to this point, synthesized together into a truly gigantic set of tomes that sets out to complete the game and the world as Sechi always envisioned it. It will consist of a player's guide, menagerie, and world atlas, accompanied by a novel, and a 5E conversion guide, because we're in the midst of our own 5E Gold Rush at the moment.</p><p>It's also known as the Final Edition because, well, this is it.</p><p>The game will be considered finished after this point, and no further development is planned. In a market where so many recognizable IPs chug along on creative fumes for as long as it's possible and profitable to, I respect the desire for a clean cut and a graceful bowing-out after so long a fight.</p><p>I hope they nail it. We'll see, when the books ship sometime this year.</p><p>But at the time of writing, the end of Talislanta is not yet written, and this overdone overview can finally peter out.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-29408775366327910902024-03-09T09:25:00.000-05:002024-03-09T09:25:15.515-05:00The EverQuest RPG is a Pile of Baffling Design Choices Masquerading as a Generic d20 Cash-Grab<p>In the past I've touched on the early-to-mid 2000s phenomenon of everyone and their auntie adapting their property to d20 rules under the OGL. D&D 3E wasn't as market-stagnatingly powerful as 5E has become, but it was the game's first true brush up against mainstream popularity, whereas in the 20th century it had only enjoyed mainstream <i>awareness</i> (and occasional mockery) from other media.<br /></p><p>This 3E Gold Rush for lack of a better term happened for pretty understandable reasons; nothing quite like the Open Game License existed previously and there were many early adopters of this novel concept, pushing out a single d20 book wasn't <i>too</i> risky for the average publisher considering the likely return on investment, and it was a pretty reliable way to introduce your IP to a wider audience.</p><p>Or at least that's how things started.</p><p>By the mid-2000s the market had hit 3rd party product saturation, and it was increasingly difficult to distinguish oneself amid the sea of similar d20 adaptations. There was also growing consumer cynicism toward the seemingly huge number of poorly-made books shoved out in order to ride the wave of market success that was already flattening by that point. It was a little bit like when self-published e-books became really big on Amazon and other platforms a few years later: an amazing opportunity for creative freedom and art also created a sucking mire of garbage and vacuous opportunism as a byproduct.</p><p>I'd insert a joke about capitalism here, but I haven't had my coffee yet, and in the spirit of our subject today I will not be going back to make edits.</p><p>That isn't to say there weren't some good adaptations out there that made the system work for their particular worlds and fictions; there absolutely are, you just have to know what you're doing when you're bending and bashing a semi-generic, semi-simulationist thing like d20 into different shapes that it wasn't originally intended for.</p><p>I honestly don't know which camp today's topic falls into. The creators obviously cared about transferring the original experience to tabletop, as opposed to just mapping existing names to existing features and calling it a day. But their care was a hacksaw that they used to Frankenstein together a bewildering pile of design choices that borders on endearing to me, because I have a weird habit of dragging out and trashing things that I end up feeling mildly positive toward.</p><p>I should probably examine that urge soon.</p><p>Anyway, we're talking about the EverQuest TTRPG!</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWcJuDfZqlV7iKkTo9Go4V09pFfGex0fs2GMKPTxy75yA8zzt42U0HsLguFc2cBoNNKQ8oEtuzZkJVsNjueFFkmA5NBOxs8ZyRaObfLsJsSAw1KVPpqlGMePvmB8h1uL_1JQQZSUeXP5xfKreCKeL2Q8M9cOBrG6TBWh0qlOaRi-_jkKfuZVVtvO6Qd4Q/s1653/EverQuest%20RPG.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1653" data-original-width="1257" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWcJuDfZqlV7iKkTo9Go4V09pFfGex0fs2GMKPTxy75yA8zzt42U0HsLguFc2cBoNNKQ8oEtuzZkJVsNjueFFkmA5NBOxs8ZyRaObfLsJsSAw1KVPpqlGMePvmB8h1uL_1JQQZSUeXP5xfKreCKeL2Q8M9cOBrG6TBWh0qlOaRi-_jkKfuZVVtvO6Qd4Q/s320/EverQuest%20RPG.png" width="243" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AKA Keith Parkinson's Greatest Hits</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Beginning in 2002 and topping out at a respectable 17 publications total, the EQRPG was Sony Online Entertainment's answer to the d20 craze by way of Sword & Sorcery publishing. It was not marketed using the d20 System logo and branding however, because of the plethora of small but cumulative changes made to the game in order to better replicate the systems and gameplay loops of the 1999 MMORPG. These include significant differences in character creation, progression, and the specifics of magic and combat.</p><p>There's plenty to cover, so let's get right into it.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Character Creation</h4><p>To start off, randomized ability score generation is thrown out in favor of a modified 27 point-buy system. This isn't unusual by itself, since 3E was when point-buy became essentially coequal with (and often preferred over) 4d6-drop-lowest. What's odd is that this point-buy exists alongside a conversion system that allows you to transfer your character from the MMO to tabletop. So if you and your EQ guildies decided to sit down and play pen-and-paper instead of the video game version because, I dunno, maybe your dialup is particularly bad one summer weekend since it's 2002, then you would have a relatively easy time recreating your toons if you really wanted to.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6qk9ggQqEwXNdQTLVPg1ytpqX23dl2BORZFtDS-eJg61woUvLQuX3YOdU6b7XKmFx34hQd7XgrDdWoTy3u_olXlGMAdtMBnAsEh3pZ73hkKIKlmBWb_JFmU-Ksn9GgubgyMoCMoq3S5Bf2C_5IZXTxAOp_YT1nNSyzTgU9-PeHhQyk_Wh7zAOmQxmdHc/s741/EQ%20Conversion.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="741" data-original-width="336" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6qk9ggQqEwXNdQTLVPg1ytpqX23dl2BORZFtDS-eJg61woUvLQuX3YOdU6b7XKmFx34hQd7XgrDdWoTy3u_olXlGMAdtMBnAsEh3pZ73hkKIKlmBWb_JFmU-Ksn9GgubgyMoCMoq3S5Bf2C_5IZXTxAOp_YT1nNSyzTgU9-PeHhQyk_Wh7zAOmQxmdHc/s320/EQ%20Conversion.png" width="145" /></a></div><p>As I understand it, the stat cap was 255 back in the day, but climbed steadily with each expansion since then. So I don't think you could convert a high-level character so easily these days. Then again at that level of play you'd be swimming in number soup, so maybe that's not a real issue.</p><p>Next you pick your race, which has far more weight in this game than in others. This is because EQ, like other D&D derivatives of the '90s, uses hard racial limits on character class- the first of several "AD&Disms" we'll see. Although I will say that in this case it is even stricter than what is found in AD&D, because in those editions there was at least an assumption of ultimate DM fiat with permitting certain character options. Not so with EQ; the list of available race/class combinations is all you get, because that's all you got in the video game (at the time of publication, at least; limits have mostly been removed in recent decades).</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXHX7CVETZkT5EVOs4dOCAYOOl3l_Dx-p3sRI_koi_fb8xwqz8NhXd2aRrAO5Ro-LuG2EJj7d4xkVvxVoDoCzpA4PHNSiFW_9hhyphenhypheneWVZfZ3yVlJNLQ4hb6sHwFibytwbsdQzsgx7WclvUSI57qQWiBejY9uEngiLnvmnKx9Ieg5Z65TwYqzA40iHLvRpk/s751/EQ%20Classes.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="751" data-original-width="519" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXHX7CVETZkT5EVOs4dOCAYOOl3l_Dx-p3sRI_koi_fb8xwqz8NhXd2aRrAO5Ro-LuG2EJj7d4xkVvxVoDoCzpA4PHNSiFW_9hhyphenhypheneWVZfZ3yVlJNLQ4hb6sHwFibytwbsdQzsgx7WclvUSI57qQWiBejY9uEngiLnvmnKx9Ieg5Z65TwYqzA40iHLvRpk/s320/EQ%20Classes.png" width="221" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note the saddening lack of playable frogloks, berserkers, etc.<br />No content after <i>The Shadows of Luclin</i> got ported to tabletop.</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Besides being major gatekeepers to character class, species also comes with the bonuses and penalties you'd expect of 3E. Modifiers tend to be bigger and more swingy in EQ, despite usually cancelling one another out to total ±0. For example, the magical and slightly cone-headed Erudite humans get a whopping +6 to Int and +2 to Wis, but also -2 to Dex and Cha, and a -4 to Str. Similarly the woad-covered Barbarians of Norse-Gael inspiration get +4 to Str and +2 to Con, but also receive what I like to call the "orc treatment", -2 to all mental stats. This makes each species fairly specialized to a role, which feels redundant with the class lists that already point them in that same general direction.</p><p>For 4 out of the 14 playable species, another AD&Dism becomes an important factor: percentile XP penalty. Barbarians, trolls, ogres, and the reptilian iksar all suffer varying degrees of reduced XP award in exchange for their stronger innate traits, ranging from -5% to -20%. These numbers are ported directly from the early years of the MMO, with the somewhat surprising exception of halflings' +5% bonus, which was dropped for the book. Note that these are in addition to any penalties earned from multiclassing.</p><p>I'm not fond of XP modifiers in tabletop to begin with, but these mods really make me yearn for Level Adjustment. At least that can (usually) be bought off at a later point when racial abilities cease to make a significant impact on character strength. But in EQ, these numbers are forever. And with the standard level progression going all the way to 30 instead of 20, there's a lot of room for a gap to form that limited regeneration or Large size just won't close.</p><p>This gap is even more pronounced than in the MMO, I'd argue. In EQ online every XP penalty or loss from death is ultimately a measurement of extra time that needs to be invested by you, the individual. You can keep your troll shadowknight on par with your friend's human rogue by logging in during off hours and grinding a bunch of mobs to compensate, because even though it's a very social game, it's set in a living world and you aren't limited to a single circle of friends from start to finish. But D&D is a fundamentally party- and session-based game, which creates a lot of headache for the GM and anyone wanting to solo on the side in order to keep up with their friends.</p><p>On paper it's all quite similar to the bonuses and penalties that everyone gets in the MMO however, and it seems like that's what they were aiming for in the end. Good or bad, the writers often try to reify as much material from the virtual game for the textual one as they can. At least they didn't also include the class-based XP penalties that combine with others multiplicatively? Otherwise that troll shadowknight would be taking a combined -68% hit to every single reward.</p><p>Once you've selected your species, it's time to pick a class, spend your skill ranks, and select a starting feat like usual. Unlike usual, you also receive 5 "Training Points" to spend on more skill ranks or energy resistances, or to save up for your next feat or your first ability score increase. Training Points are awarded every level, and either supplement or entirely replace the standard skill, feat, and ability increase tracks of 3E. They are meant to simulate the Alternate Advancement system introduced in the <i>Shadows of Luclin</i> expansion, except instead of having to wait until level 51 to start dumping experience into it instead of new levels, you get a trickle of both from the very start.</p><p>There are limits in place so you can't dump all your points in one area, but overall it's a pretty unguided and freeform system for deciding how you want to improve your character outside of class abilities. Another way of describing it could be "time-consuming newbie trap", because of the extra bookkeeping required, and the increased chances of spending yourself into a corner if you haven't plotted stuff out in advance. The things up for purchase also don't really share multiples with the amount of points you get every level, which feels odd and awkward to me? It's like when they rig the prices in F2P MMOS so that you always have slightly too much or too little in-game shop currency to buy a thing you want, except they're not even trying to sell you anything here- it's just busywork.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3faNyT4iJ_oySl0Uh4LKyNaEkOE4Z4GJxetr2ep8PpyVT-5qV0SV6cKxrogyvYhwjtwdLinSXunRxwkRqjIpS_IeAWdSf70EoHllBYq296F1ACluV28RGaCVeumaqGKPlbXt1BlSMpjaWDMWf6Ra5xCpMNHkm-nG2lG0_bf1T5zrppXKlx7UxiuAA3AM/s516/Everquest%20Training%20Points.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="365" data-original-width="516" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3faNyT4iJ_oySl0Uh4LKyNaEkOE4Z4GJxetr2ep8PpyVT-5qV0SV6cKxrogyvYhwjtwdLinSXunRxwkRqjIpS_IeAWdSf70EoHllBYq296F1ACluV28RGaCVeumaqGKPlbXt1BlSMpjaWDMWf6Ra5xCpMNHkm-nG2lG0_bf1T5zrppXKlx7UxiuAA3AM/s320/Everquest%20Training%20Points.png" width="320" /></a></div><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Once you're done with all the essentials, the rest of character creation is mostly identical to your average 3E game. Name, gender, age, etc. You're also encouraged to choose a deity, with the welcome addition of an agnostic (read: fantastical apatheism) option for certain non-priest characters.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Alignment is present, which feels kind of weird. There are planes and loosely aligned factions of "good" and "evil" in the cosmology and lore of EQ, but moral alignment remains just shy of being an objective, bracketed thing in the MMO. Not so here, where the classic 9-point alignment system exists, with the words "lawful" and "chaotic" replaced by "orderly" and "discordant" because the latter terms have slightly more currency in the lore of Norrath.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Skills</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Fortunately you're not limited to spending training points to get skill ranks; those are bonus ranks you can buy in addition to your usual class amount + Int every level. And refreshingly, no class in EQRPG is saddled with 2+Int skill points per level; most have 4+Int or more, and the lowest is 3+Int. This means that your average character is more likely to engage with some of the changes that EQRPG makes to the skill list.</p><p style="text-align: left;">For the record, EQ online has skills, but they don't work anything like 3E skills. They're closer to the skills of a d100 system or maybe Elder Scrolls games, where they encompass most character actions like types of attacks or spellcasting, and improve with use. I remember back when I made my fourth or fifth burner email in a row to play free trials of EverQuest as a kid (my parents don't believe in credit cards so I could never subscribe), I found a big group of people sitting around in the Mines of Gloomingdeep spamming each other with long text macros. I learned that this was to mutually improve their language skills; however much text your character 'heard' other people say in other languages slowly trained them in that language until the language cypher was removed entirely from their interface.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Luckily you don't have to do that here, nor will you run into a scenario where you get a neat new weapon but your skill in its type is a 1, forcing you to spend hours grinding it up to par. But it does create a case in the self-imposed constraints of trying to make EQ work in d20 where the writers just didn't (probably couldn't) port things over. Instead, they worked with the existing skill system and made a few more modest changes.</p><p style="text-align: left;">For starters, unlike most other d20 systems (and all of the memes about massaging orcs or seducing dragons), EQ actually <i>does</i> use the automatic failure and success rules for rolling 1 and 20 on skill checks, respectively. This doesn't include Take 20 checks, of course. And I'm slightly disappointed that they don't lean into it more by including skill crits or fumbles.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The skill list itself looks somewhat different, too. Since it was based on 3.0E rules you see the usual Sense Heading/Wilderness Lore divide and things like that. But we also see some additions to the list lifted straight from EQ online, like Alcohol Tolerance, Channeling, Meditation, and Taunt.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Alcohol Tolerance (Con) is a weird skill, both in its purpose and how it's used. You don't ever make Alcohol Tolerance skill checks by themselves; instead, you make a check, consult a table to find your check result, and then gain a corresponding bonus to your character's Fortitude save vs. inebriation when consuming large amounts of alcohol.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The reason you would ever invest in this skill is because alcohol is double-edged buff food in the EverQuest universe. Succeeding at your saves allows you to benefit from the positive effects of a specific drink, such as "metabolic" bonuses to Strength or Charisma-based checks, while only suffering the minimum penalties for getting sauced; usually a stacking -1 to Dex, Int, and Wis. Credit where credit is due, the writers did not pick the low-hanging fruit of giving dwarves a racial bonus to Alcohol Tolerance.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Channeling (Con) is a rebranding of Concentration, plain and simple, but Meditation (Int, Wis, or Cha depending on class) is an equally vital new skill for all casters. It controls spellcasters' ability to regenerate mana, and to prepare spells quickly. As with EQ online, casters have a mana pool and are limited to 8 prepared spells at any time (unless you spend feats to expand that number up to a max of 16).</p><p style="text-align: left;">But you can sit and meditate to regenerate spent mana per hour based on your ranks in this skill, and you can swap one spell out for another by taking a number of full-round actions equal to the spell's level minus your ranks in Meditation, minimum 1. You don't even need to leave slots empty like a wizard in 3E. The end result is that Meditation is <b>the</b> skill for casters, and it enormously improves their versatility and sustainability throughout a long and varied day of adventuring.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Taunt (Cha) is... such an aggravating missed opportunity. The language of aggro, taunts, and tanking may originate with early MMOs like EverQuest, but the thematic concept of heavily armored adventurers covering for and protecting their squishier counterparts has existed since basically the beginning of modern fantasy as a medium. D&D has sorely needed something like a taunt ability to reflect this element of the fiction for years, and even today in 5E it's only beginning to approach the concept with some success here and there. Obligatory shout-out to Barbarians of the Ancestral Guardian path.</p><p style="text-align: left;">So what is EQRPG's version of Taunt? A move action opposed by your target's Sense Motive to force them to target you with their attacks for 1 round. Said Sense Motive check can get pretty high bonuses if the target is already attacking someone else, can't understand the taunter, etc. So if a wolf got the drop on your party and is munching on the wizard (AKA the <i>exact moment</i> you'd want a reliable taunt ability), your 1st-level warrior could be looking at a DC of up to 30, <i>plus</i> whatever the actual Sense Motive check result is. The skill was a valiant attempt, but a failure.</p><p style="text-align: left;">There's also a whole host of custom Trade Skill, uh, skills which are new but don't do anything especially weird, so I won't go into them in depth. Baking, brewing, and shaman-exclusive alchemy all make different buff consumables. Pottery makes everything from humble jars to magical grenades. Tinkering, exclusive to gnomes, creates all manner of technological inventions, though thankfully they avoided going the way of guns, combat automatons, and power armor. The d20 rules for crafting and using things like that always tend toward jankiness in my experience.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Feats</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Obviously feats didn't exist in EverQuest in 1999, nor when they were making these books, so their role here is to give 3E players something familiar, as well as pad out the class feature lists. Returning feats are mostly identical to their 3E counterparts, some with altered math to match the new rules here and there, like metamagic feats increasing mana cost by a percentage instead of higher spell slots, etc.</p><p style="text-align: left;">This section originally went into whiney detail about how they made the baffling decision to make Weapon Finesse worse by rewriting it to be selected per weapon type, but then I looked up the 3.0E version of the feat and realized that's exactly how it used to be.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I need to stop taking the QoL updates of 3.5E for granted, as weird as that is to say.</p><p style="text-align: left;">There are a few additions that give martial characters something resembling goodies, though. In EQ online anyone with a shield can perform Bash attacks, and members of the larger species—Barbarians, ogres, and trolls—can deliver Slam attacks in addition to their normal auto-swings. Bashes deal very little damage, but they're good for interrupting spellcasting and even stunning enemies briefly. Slams do much the same, but don't require a shield. There's also a Kick used by monks, rangers, and warriors of any size that functions similarly, but for some reason that was dropped for EQRPG.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The remaining Bash and Slam feats give you a special off-hand attack and a natural weapon, respectively. It's odd calling Slam a "feat" though, because it's only available to Large species and Barbarians, and they all get it automatically at 1st level. If you're using a magic shield or have a magic piece of armor on your shoulder, knee, or other slam-appropriate location on your body (a sequence of words I never want to type ever again), they count as magic attacks for the purposes of bypassing damage reduction, but any enhancement bonuses don't actually transfer to better attack or damage rolls. </p><p style="text-align: left;">The feat gestures vaguely toward Bash's use as a spellcasting interrupt in the MMO, but it only increases the Channeling DC vs damage taken by 2 when you use it that way. Considering a shield's low damage (1d3 to 1d6 depending on size) you may as well save your Attack of Opportunity for your normal weapon; assuming the enemy spellcaster isn't just casting defensively, which feels like an oversight made when porting the attacks over. Using both at once on top of a full-attack option is a cheap way to throw a lot of attacks at the enemy though, and it's way more efficient in terms of BAB and feat cost than going down the finnicky Two-Weapon Fighting and Dual Wield feat lines.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Classes</h4><p style="text-align: left;">The classes themselves are actually pretty uncontroversial when seen through the lens I'm using here. They resemble a mix of the EQ online classes and their D&D counterparts where there are overlaps like paladin and ranger, and they are slightly more true to the EQ class where there isn't anything comparable in base D&D, like shaman or shadowknight. They rely on a lot of bonus feats (and "bonus" feats that merely unlock a feat you still need to pay training points for) to flesh out class ability rosters, but each also receives at least one list of selectable powers, stances, or other abilities unique to their class identity.</p><div>Unsurprisingly for a 3E-inspired game, pure martial classes get a really raw deal compared to casters or even hybrids (which also get full BAB and high-level stance abilities just like martials do). This is doubly unsurprising, because EQ online <i>also</i> tended to treat a lot of its nonmagical classes like trash. The life of a warrior is pain. It's obviously a bad design choice, but by the standards of the time it's not an odd one.</div><div><p></p><p>More peculiar to me is how classes and equipment proficiencies interact.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Equipment</h4><p>Armor typing is essentially unchanged from 3E, but weapon proficiencies have been tweaked. Only simple and martial categories exist, but these have been subdivided into many more types like one-handed slashing, hand-to-hand (blunt), or archery (piercing). For the most part these map to the weapons each class can wield in the MMO without creating too much work deciding where weapons from other d20 books should fit, but it also creates some weird edge cases within its own core content.</p><p>One example is how rogues are proficient in piercing weapons. Since there is no one-handed vs two-handed distinction within piercing weapons, this means your average rogue knows how to wield a heavy pick or a halberd as well as a dagger. Alternatively, a shaman normally limited to "tribal" weapons can fight just as effectively with a rapier or even a spiked chain, that infamous old mainstay of 3E trip builds which somehow made it into the list.</p><p>Weapons have also been given a new "delay" parameter that is meant to emulate the different speeds that weapons swing at when you are auto-attacking in EQ online. Daggers attack more times in a minute than a mace, a mace more than a big two-handed axe, etc. The way they try to do this in EQRPG is by giving each weapon a delay number that tells you which of 6 tables to look at when you're calculating your character's BAB and iterative attacks per round. It's like if AD&D's weapon speed factor was designed to impact raw DPS instead of initiative, but it's just as annoying to track.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMtQWyEVk_88e-h0B-ZehdKwB08RuiR74u49iUzCFYV85YFme1oa5FNbVHMEzfhuVSk9KrPNMoPGWhYLNYpa5oWnuRgsh_M8ZVKBJfFJV03oTZBdNpCoK5NxhjxGmQ1M6Zp7V6imoSzehhyphenhyphenKIBPJArj6kCr7spfiJHhxEM7Nf3Dv4GRKJZtZaDdKd2lXg/s1605/Everquest%20Weapon%20Delay.png"><img border="0" data-original-height="1605" data-original-width="1224" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMtQWyEVk_88e-h0B-ZehdKwB08RuiR74u49iUzCFYV85YFme1oa5FNbVHMEzfhuVSk9KrPNMoPGWhYLNYpa5oWnuRgsh_M8ZVKBJfFJV03oTZBdNpCoK5NxhjxGmQ1M6Zp7V6imoSzehhyphenhyphenKIBPJArj6kCr7spfiJHhxEM7Nf3Dv4GRKJZtZaDdKd2lXg/w305-h400/Everquest%20Weapon%20Delay.png" width="305" /></a></div><p><span style="text-align: center;">You also have to familiarize yourself with at least 2 or 3 of these tables, </span><span style="text-align: center;">because haste and slow effects alter these delay numbers. This is in addition to adding or subtracting whole additional attacks depending on the power of the particular effect, a la 3.5E Haste.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">Let's finish up the subject of weapons by talking about procs.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">Procs, or programmed random occurrences, are effects placed on a piece of equipment or given by an ability that occur with a set frequency in response to X criteria being met. When you swing your sword and sometimes it blasts the target for extra fire damage, that's a proc. It's pretty clearly inspired by D&D weapon enchantments that only take effect on a certain die roll, like vorpal swords. In EQ online there is a huge number of proc weapons that each have their own formula being computed behind the scenes to determine how often they trigger their effects, usually expressed as PPM (Procs Per Minute).</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">In EQRPG the writers opted not to go for calculations like that, mercifully. But they still wanted to include proc weapons somehow, because they include some of the most iconic weapons in Norrath. Instead they went for a much simpler system where if a weapon has a proc effect, then every time you roll to attack you <i>also</i> roll against its proc DC. Rolling for a proc is a Dexterity check that scales with the relative power of the proc's effect, starting at 20 for the lowest. Proc effects exist in addition to more normal 'static' effects placed on a weapon, so it's possible to find a <i>flaming</i> longsword that also has <i>frost</i> (proc).</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">I kind of like this decision, but I kind of don't. By decoupling certain effects from the 'on crit only' enchantments we see in 3E, you might see them used by more characters than falchion- or rapier-wielding crit-fishers. It's tied to an ability score that people probably won't bump super high since Dexterity didn't become a true god stat until Pathfinder 1E, but EQRPG throws enough stat bonuses around that they might be semi-consistent; I haven't done the math there. But the big thing for me is that you have to roll</span><span style="text-align: center;"> every time you attack to see if you proc. The book recommends you pick a differently colored d20 specifically for that, and just huck both dice at once with every attack. So past a certain wealth level you may as well hand </span><span style="text-align: center;">2d20 to</span><span style="text-align: center;"> everyone who isn't a dedicated spellcaster.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">Speaking of dedicated spellcasters, we may as well move on to that whole mess.</span></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Magic</span></h4><p><span style="text-align: center;">As I alluded to earlier with my brief gloss over classes and the Meditation skill, dedicated spellcasters are strong in EQRPG. They also require a whole lot of extra bookkeeping, because both mana pools and spell costs can rise into the dozens and eventually hundreds of points. The caps for those pools can also fluctuate throughout the day from spells, gear bonuses, or ability damage. A good comparison for what you're dealing with is the 3E psion's power point pool.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">Spells go up to 15th level in EQRPG, even though it would have made sense to just throw out that legacy system alongside all of the other changes being made. Spell lists cleave very close to their EQ counterparts, usually mimicking damage, healing, CC, and buff spells as well as the two games' very different math systems will allow.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">There are fewer spells with noncombat applications here than in 3E, which makes full casters slightly less godlike than say, conjuration wizards in D&D. EQRPG wizards can still do things like hop across the planes and dominate a combat scenario, but they do so by traveling to very specific landmarks from the game world and by dealing direct hit point damage, respectively. Monsters are limited in the same way, with the majority of NPC casters and spell-like ability repertoires geared toward combat. </span><span style="text-align: center;">This flattens encounter design quite a bit, which is a big loss in my opinion. Although the worst part of player magic limitations to me is the truly lamentable loss of the <i>prestidigitation</i> cantrip.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">I also wish the editors had gone through the spells a little more closely. </span><span style="text-align: center;">Spells tend to be organized into spell lines with only the 1st rank explained in full, but the descriptions of spells are given alphabetically. This requires you to flip back to that first spell for reference when looking at differently-named spells over a dozen entries deep into a line. This gets especially annoying because most spells are just increasing amounts of direct damage or healing, and so much space and effort could be saved by consolidating all the different ranks in a line together on the same page.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">Buff spells love to add odd-numbered ability scores, or more awkward percentile modifiers to the mix like -10% mana cost or +66% movement speed. One haste-adjacent spell I found even adds staggered bonus attacks depending on whether it's an odd or even-numbered combat round, <i>a la</i> AD&D fighter weapon specialization rules.</span></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">And sometimes, the writers' math just doesn't add up.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-3BiRnuppAWej5fsi73MHFHMSU1wIcLLjU5ZHlSBiLc_-k5Uz3l9-nIlbx-xLpSvtrJ0UB5BPscuSDzLhX4w-83_Ms5_MBruNgNVym5bteswfA7xNN0YzLN7waZMXmg0nITHP1SBOjXk94GvgwqEbBStL29fY3Qh5fSXPRdj3Ct20__5c5k2CnQt4jOA/s793/Endure%20Cold.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="793" data-original-width="340" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-3BiRnuppAWej5fsi73MHFHMSU1wIcLLjU5ZHlSBiLc_-k5Uz3l9-nIlbx-xLpSvtrJ0UB5BPscuSDzLhX4w-83_Ms5_MBruNgNVym5bteswfA7xNN0YzLN7waZMXmg0nITHP1SBOjXk94GvgwqEbBStL29fY3Qh5fSXPRdj3Ct20__5c5k2CnQt4jOA/w171-h400/Endure%20Cold.png" width="171" /></a></div><span style="text-align: center;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Beyond the <i>Player's Handbook</i>, which has been the focus of this post, there were many other EQRPG books. You get the usual GM's guide and monster manuals, some are region-specific gazetteers like Faydark or the moon Luclin, others are dungeons or adventures taken from the MMO, and a few provide new magic spells and items, or NPCs. All of it is pretty standard stuff you see coming out of any 3rd party d20 series that lasts long enough. They all follow in the footsteps of oddity set by the handbook rather than doubling down on anything, however. The weirdest thing I found in those supplements was a weirdly good, high-level spell named "Skin of the Cabbage".</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">As poorly as some of these systems conversions performed, and as strange or pointless as the concept of porting an MMO to tabletop can feel, I kind of applaud the writers behind the EQRPG? They could have phoned this series in so hard and made a very forgettably bad product, but they chose to try and do something with it instead. The art direction also helps; though most interior illustrations are not by Keith Parkinson, they all try to emulate the feeling of those old cover art spreads. The page borders and chapter heading plates even evoke the chunky old user manuals you used to get with every disc set. </span><span style="text-align: center;">Even if it's certainly not </span><i style="text-align: center;">the</i><span style="text-align: center;"> EverQuest, it tries hard to be </span><i style="text-align: center;">an</i><span style="text-align: center;"> EverQuest game.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">The same can't quite be said of its sequel.</span></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">EQ2RPG</span></h4><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">After 2003 rolled around with 3.5E, there was a second surge of OGL games. Among this wave were a few "second editions" of games that had previously published under 3.0 rules that set out to update their games for the new rules. Sometimes the changes were meaningful and allowed a game a fresh start where they corrected their past mistakes and moved closer to their vision of what the game could be. Sometimes they were like the glorified textbook reprints that you have to shell out over $100 to use for a single semester in community college.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">EverQuest II RPG is... kind of both?</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgssuxc8jOSuQl9-3x8qz3ZxK5PMrPYZNFh9FZFz45MUIWaYz-sUd-_btF2H0DZ6dRNzeNKZaBpQuOXlO6QVbDew7eKw89fED4qc706m7T2DMBBx5CgyBlJET79msysMubNn7-lnrYZfy7Rl_Tv2tFzuS4y6JaWAIh_bYvCOiY0A6dEl3ZG38_78vFa8-0/s1614/EQ2RPG.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1614" data-original-width="1258" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgssuxc8jOSuQl9-3x8qz3ZxK5PMrPYZNFh9FZFz45MUIWaYz-sUd-_btF2H0DZ6dRNzeNKZaBpQuOXlO6QVbDew7eKw89fED4qc706m7T2DMBBx5CgyBlJET79msysMubNn7-lnrYZfy7Rl_Tv2tFzuS4y6JaWAIh_bYvCOiY0A6dEl3ZG38_78vFa8-0/s320/EQ2RPG.png" width="249" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">EQ2 pushed the game's timeline forward a few hundred years and nudged it over an alternate universe or two. Set in a version of Norrath where the moon exploded and rained destruction across the planet, many familiar sights from the first game were destroyed or irrevocably altered. Entire continents were broken up into disconnected islands, prompting the early story to be focused on hopping on a boat and exploring what the world has become.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">EQ2</span><span style="text-align: center;">RPG (these acronyms are getting stupid, but just bear with me for a little longer) is also set in this different Norrath, but it still shares most of its 3E DNA with the previous game. </span><span style="text-align: center;">It cleans up that 27-point character generation slightly, and makes Training Point prices cheaper across the board, as well as providing a few more options for it. The skills vs cross-class skills mechanic is removed, making it so that class skills are the only ones you can buy at 1st level, but everything after that is equally available. Even race/class limits are done away with.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Another big change in accordance with EQ2 online is Archetypes. The MMO genre was shifting toward a more rigid class role structure of tank, melee DPS, ranged DPS, and healer at this time, not just in the way characters performed in end-game content, but in the way they were conceived of to begin with. An example of this is the elimination of hybrid classes as their own unique category, and shoving everything else under the umbrellas of Fighter, Mage, Priest, and Scout in EQ2.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Everyone starts off as one of these 4 archetypes in the tabletop version as well, but can specialize into a class starting at around 5th to 7th level, and an <i>advanced</i> class specializing even further starting at around 10th. Some of these options were alignment-locked in the MMO at launch, but not so here. In fact, alignment was dropped entirely! </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">In essence, classes and advanced classes are the prestige classes of 3E, but grafted onto generic starting classes as branches in a series of multi-path character trees. MMO class specs, if you will. </span><span style="text-align: center;">Of course you the tabletop player aren't limited the same way your MMO character is; multiclassing is still an option in this ruleset, which creates kind of a best-of-both-worlds scenario.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Not that you'd necessarily </span><i style="text-align: center;">want</i><span style="text-align: center;"> to stunt your progression with multiclassing; you're kind of on a tight schedule. After all, you're only just reaching your character's real class identity and fruition of the arc of mechanical growth at 10th to 12th level. That's the bottom of the valley where most campaigns die in typical 20-level D&D, let alone the 30 levels of EQRPG.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;">This strikes me as an odd and probably unintentional mistuning of progression, because in the source material most characters could finish with their archetype and start on their class as soon as they left the tutorial zone, the Isle of Refuge. Most GMs don't rocket you from 1 to 6 in a session or two, though; something that can be done in about an afternoon in the video game becomes something many days or weeks in the making in tabletop. In general that's fine, and to be expected; tabletop is just slower on average. But I don't think that's what the writers were intending here.</p><p style="text-align: left;">At least the starting archetypes aren't devoid of depth, thanks to Talents.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Talents are another very MMO'y term injected into the game that act as an answer to the problem of bloated, sometimes very lopsided class feature rosters. Every few levels—more frequent for Fighters and Scouts, less often for Mages and Priests—you receive a talent point that you can spend on your choice of class talent, which is a single discrete class feature. Many have minimum level requirements like feats, and also like feats a few are clearly traps that are best avoided. But otherwise you can pick the order and type of abilities you get. Classes and advanced classes also give talent points with their own pools of abilities to draw from, but you can always spend them on features from previous lists as well.</p><p style="text-align: left;">This system has no parallel with anything in EQ1 or EQ2 to my knowledge, but it's also just kind of good on its own. I liked it when Pathfinder did something similar with most of their classes, and this feels like a more drastic prototype of the same idea.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">In other ways, EQ2RPG refused to advance, not even to match its online counterpart. Sometimes it even regressed slightly.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">As an example, EQ2 removed all XP penalties; at launch, the only thing you'd suffer from was XP debt from dying. EQ2RPG did not remove the penalties put in place by its predecessor. In fact they added more for new species like the kerra and ratonga, and made them slightly worse for existing ones, by bumping trolls up 5% to match what they'd originally been saddled with in EQ1 online.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Spellcasting remains fundamentally unchanged from its predecessor, although they did tidy up the lists partially by condensing spell lines into the same spell with multiple ranks, like I was complaining about up above before I bothered to finish doing my research down here in the present. Where once there may have been <i>project lightning</i>, followed by <i>thunder strike</i>, <i>thunderclap</i>, <i>thunderbolt</i>, etc. you now just have 2 markedly different spells with 3 ranks each. It's a step in the right direction I think, but it's weird that they didn't go all the way with the fix.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">They also decided to bring back the 3.0E rules about how weapon sizes affect what a weapon counts as in somebody's hands, instead of just going by size category alone? Not even the first EQRPG did that, and it's so weird to see it pop up now.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAPah9rAwMvEtKIUg1ACgO6LVHBAGy23OFnvg9EXSSzSARsDLGM-lZ4jGXzK9_x7zDN6crd0h-Wh51FvvXXfxJiIBDG3NFWXc5KAupxfvOC1zi8baqUrFyjOVW5b4ejl6KccRGIcbnp1jf3GEZD5ne50exCeZ8h-lOVOFDTi1Hc9-gaXRy2vLiUtf30r4/s696/EQ2RPG%20Weapons.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="376" data-original-width="696" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAPah9rAwMvEtKIUg1ACgO6LVHBAGy23OFnvg9EXSSzSARsDLGM-lZ4jGXzK9_x7zDN6crd0h-Wh51FvvXXfxJiIBDG3NFWXc5KAupxfvOC1zi8baqUrFyjOVW5b4ejl6KccRGIcbnp1jf3GEZD5ne50exCeZ8h-lOVOFDTi1Hc9-gaXRy2vLiUtf30r4/s320/EQ2RPG%20Weapons.png" width="320" /></a></div><p></p></span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">The sequel also feels like it had way less of a budget than its older counterparts. The vast majority of the art in this book is either a CG still lifted from the promotional campaign for the video game, or an in-game screen shot or loading screen asset. I recognized about a dozen different frames from the charmingly goofy series of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAueMD8i_KLMrXJm4skSQTbP4jTcG43K1">new player introduction videos</a> that SOE hosted for a while.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">The usage of preexisting assets isn't bad in and of itself, or at least I don't think so; it's just that EQ2 wasn't a very good-looking game one year after launch, and its low-res and weirdly lit graphics don't do the book any favors. Especially not when the models and spell effects have been awkwardly cut out of an existing screen shot and then transparencied onto the page.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOxlEqoNz5_Ug-qFwrroOszVOhpVq3MIqYyu7rLxitdJtXx6TFzd_slbQf-3QOTunZDmlbDALsRq6iKNCZ3AZlgLy0ivGMQ5Be1Aq1ZG0nW2_e7gxqNK7CVDPD6CCVNr42tB9VyaEGY9DrEs0IueJMHDa8tRIF8CXl1bVNxa9Nl6Rp4V7ezWxuu5ayr2o/s715/EQ2%20Priest.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="715" data-original-width="452" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOxlEqoNz5_Ug-qFwrroOszVOhpVq3MIqYyu7rLxitdJtXx6TFzd_slbQf-3QOTunZDmlbDALsRq6iKNCZ3AZlgLy0ivGMQ5Be1Aq1ZG0nW2_e7gxqNK7CVDPD6CCVNr42tB9VyaEGY9DrEs0IueJMHDa8tRIF8CXl1bVNxa9Nl6Rp4V7ezWxuu5ayr2o/s320/EQ2%20Priest.png" width="202" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't even get me started on that mitten hand.</td></tr></tbody></table><p></p></div><div><p></p><p><span style="text-align: center;">#UnpopularOpinion tract time, I always thought the extremely cartoonish kerra from the trailer for the cancelled EverQuest Next project still looked better than the soulless, plasticine meat puppets of EQ2. Stylization is like light rust resistance for your character designs. Even if they're not that good to begin with, they won't age quite as rapidly.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTHoAgCjH3DCWrQVi6X20rcTu8xkWMWZyXcWu_bAPXD0x9Js2qLj7Qvt3DcNyLLEpJa0zYlzPT61EzQyvHmmZ5dvHkdgVefYPdRfpfkwaB9fxdwMHJ6ewn8xbQckgOLVxwCRFGBYoU0AjFmP_dgQLji_RQSHefR202FQXOWVOu07hRn_tQPQx2naBwvBs/s736/LR7eDhe.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="531" data-original-width="736" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTHoAgCjH3DCWrQVi6X20rcTu8xkWMWZyXcWu_bAPXD0x9Js2qLj7Qvt3DcNyLLEpJa0zYlzPT61EzQyvHmmZ5dvHkdgVefYPdRfpfkwaB9fxdwMHJ6ewn8xbQckgOLVxwCRFGBYoU0AjFmP_dgQLji_RQSHefR202FQXOWVOu07hRn_tQPQx2naBwvBs/s320/LR7eDhe.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">Another indicator of the lower effort put into the sequel by the publisher is that half the classes are missing from the <i>Player's Guide</i>. The Priest and Mage archetypes aren't even playable without consulting the <i>Spell Guide</i> that was published exclusively in PDF form in 2005, over a year after the first book went to print. Apparently Sword & Sorcery released a free PDF of some basic low-level spells on their website in the interim, but to my knowledge it's lost to link rot nowadays.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Even with the Player and Spell guide, EQ2RPG is kind of unplayable by itself. It still needs several books from the first RPG to give it the monsters, magic items, GM tools, etc. to make a working campaign with.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The creators supposedly said that going forward, all new books would support both EQ1 and EQ2. I say 'supposedly' because Wikipedia says so, but there's been a [citation needed] tag on that sentence since October of 2007. A list on the White Wolf Wiki references 3 cancelled books that were referenced in issues of <i>White Wolf Quarterly</i> or <i>Sword & Sorcery Insider</i>; these were to be <i>EverQuest II Gazetteer: The Shattered Lands</i>, <i>Islands of Mist</i>, and <i>Kunark: Past and Present</i>, the title of which allows us to infer that the plan to support EQRPG 1 and 2 simultaneously was real, at least at one point.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But planned or not, new books never happened. Troubled production ultimately led to the entire EQRPG line getting quietly shelved after its second edition sloughed out onto the scene. I have no evidence to back it up, but I can't imagine sales were great either. The 3rd-party d20 market had not grown less saturated during this period, after all.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The End, Finally</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Like so many of my rambles, I'm not sure how to end this. I began wanting to lightly mock the existence of these books, and I suppose I did in the end. But I also grew strangely fond of this weird little experiment. It was at the periphery of a massive shift in the industry, and though I don't think its effects could be felt very far or for long, I like it for having existed. If only so that folks like me with nothing better to write about can do a bit of RPG archaeology and wonder at what came before.</p><p style="text-align: left;">One thing it did leave me with, was a question of how other people received this game in its day. EQ has always had lore and story if you look hard enough for it, but the 'role' has always taken a backseat to the 'play' in this game, whether it takes the form of exploring the relatively huge living world, earning DKP in raids, or just grouping with new and old friends.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But what stories have EQ role-players been able to tell, both on-and offline? What memories and experiences did this tabletop edition help create, rather than merely mimic? Is this game beloved to anyone out there?</p><p style="text-align: left;">And can someone please explain the Fippy Darkpaw meme to me? Weren't there like a dozen other gnolls? Why'd <i>he</i> get so popular?</p></div>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-53964800328645030682024-02-08T20:41:00.003-05:002024-02-09T09:43:14.110-05:00Let's Dig Into: A Semi-Random Assortment of Issues of The Warlock Returns (Advanced Fighting Fantasy 2E)<p> I've gone on record as saying I like Fighting Fantasy, and I do. Its world is goofy in ways I wish Warhammer still was, and the system itself is pretty simple to get with. It kept me company as an anxious child, while its descendent helps make me money as an anxious adult. But I haven't really engaged with the 2nd edition of the game much since its release back in 2011. Sure, I <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2021/07/new-system-new-face-cobbling-together.html">fiddled with the character creation rules</a> here once, but that just doesn't feel like enough.</p><p>So, I've resolved to satisfy that empty space with a semi-random and out-of-order assortment of magazine issues!</p><p><i>The Warlock Returns</i> is the official zine for AFF2E, first published by Arion Games in 2020. It's a throwback to the tabletop gaming publications of old that combines fan content creations with letters and updates from the publisher, plus regular installments in a slightly cringe-worthy comic serial and the occasional charity drive. At the time of writing there are 11 issues, with the latest released this January.</p><p>I only know the zine exists because I was trawling the Fighting Fantasy wiki a few weeks ago. Naturally I was looking to see if shamans exist anywhere in any of the gamebooks' mechanics, and to my surprise I learned that there is a dedicated school of shamanist magic in issue #4. So I whinged and wibbled with myself for a bit before grabbing the PDF on sale.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUYAwmTe_EQeUARcK-qVk3XwzC9CACVnyPsUfMhAlvODewyzF-4QKuqv_AkpkhI2DmgUzIgWo185Kkk_V-0Vyx3hUuXvb8BXTf8ZZYqwbHscf9L3Bkhij3BdgfcBh90mB2ufFW89nVzp488KLVD5BS9kTPf_n30uAX3U1F3nGkT6L1WXtz1aFgXOwOqk4/s906/363963.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="906" data-original-width="700" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUYAwmTe_EQeUARcK-qVk3XwzC9CACVnyPsUfMhAlvODewyzF-4QKuqv_AkpkhI2DmgUzIgWo185Kkk_V-0Vyx3hUuXvb8BXTf8ZZYqwbHscf9L3Bkhij3BdgfcBh90mB2ufFW89nVzp488KLVD5BS9kTPf_n30uAX3U1F3nGkT6L1WXtz1aFgXOwOqk4/s320/363963.png" width="247" /></a></div><p>#4 begins like most TWR issues with a "Denizens of the Pit" segment detailing some new monsters to throw at your players. Unlike others however, this one provides a whole generator for creating bizarre animals that have adapted and mutated in isolated island environments. We're talking stuff like psychic terror flamingos here.</p><p>TWR seems to have a slight predisposition toward tropical island exploration; nearly every issue has a rather on-the-nose "JUNGLE MANIA" section towards the front. It serves to flesh out a biome of the Fighting Fantasy world of Titan that is mostly neglected elsewhere. And although the name sounds a lot worse than it is, it is still a very pulpy collection of savage jungle tropes at heart, with all the societal baggage that carries.</p><p>Also one of the diseases you can contract is literally named <i>Jungle Fever</i>. I feel like the editors <i>had</i> to have noticed that during their pass, yeah?</p><p>Regardless, herein lies the shaman, so I made a beeline for it.</p><p>The first thing I feel I should say is that "shaman" doesn't feel like the right name for this option. This is not only because of the sometimes problematic practice of ascribing the label of shaman to widely disparate practices in real life (which I am crazy guilty of and currently trying to get better about); it's also because from the spell list to the ritual items to the artwork, this shaman is clearly modeled on practitioners of Hollywood Voodoo, and to a lesser extent other pastiches of Sub-Saharan African religions.</p><p>... Then again, including a literal witch doctor class in a segment titled JUNGLE MANIA would've been even worse, so maybe forget that whole quibble.</p><p>Shamanism is a school of spellcasting similar to minor magic, wizardry, or sorcery from the core book- it's very similar to sorcery in fact, because they both rely on casting from Stamina like in <i>Troika!</i> and because of their not-insignificant amount of spell list overlap. The shaman has automatic access to 24 spells, 7 of which are reprints of sorcerer spells from the core book. The remaining 17 spells include such classics as curing diseases or curses, stabbing dolls with needles to damage or debuff targets, raising zombies, and scaring away demons and spirits with a terrifying mask. There are also a few unexpected utility spells like improving the crop yield of a plot of farmland, or preventing forest fires.</p><p>It's a decent mix of effects, but 1/4th of the list being reprints feels underwhelming- especially since the spread of sorcery reference cards that comes with this issue doesn't include the new shaman spells.</p><p>Did I mention the reference cards? They remind me a lot of the little power cards they made to keep track of all our stuff in D&D 4E.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwYGDWptg4pKAST_Uz3n_jmV1d-H9zr8b6veqy5MdnxkunNWlmQMqVH0pub71gv6NLmCtBJ_k2HspMX6OWu7anFSe17z0AQEbqvlhOOS7hwmmX5A8-sxonwVksW3hthSdgRHh-CneNYQFa7C7T0Ik_5mUhyLcytu0wdmFSEC2ZTzjkefP8ihMT1XUbsOQ/s783/MUD.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="783" data-original-width="559" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwYGDWptg4pKAST_Uz3n_jmV1d-H9zr8b6veqy5MdnxkunNWlmQMqVH0pub71gv6NLmCtBJ_k2HspMX6OWu7anFSe17z0AQEbqvlhOOS7hwmmX5A8-sxonwVksW3hthSdgRHh-CneNYQFa7C7T0Ik_5mUhyLcytu0wdmFSEC2ZTzjkefP8ihMT1XUbsOQ/s320/MUD.png" width="228" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki6IJNrDQnw">Perfect for helping Salticid become one with the earth</a></td></tr></tbody></table><p>I wasn't keen on checking out the rest of the zine after satisfying my curiosity for the shaman, but I scrolled through anyway. There was a gnome inventor's shop which can also function as a dungeon if your party is full of jerks, a review of <i>Troika!</i> by somebody other than the AFF2E creator who's not all that interested in it (which I find kinda funny), some material for the sci-fi counterpart to AFF called Stellar Adventures, and of course the aforementioned cringey comic strip about the adventures of the goofy narcissist Gareus, who also writes the zine's Dear Abby-esque column, "Agony Aunt".</p><p>It has more eels and bare, hairy butt than you might expect.</p><p>Eventually I perused my way down to the section on new player races. I was curious because one of the new options offered isn't actually that new. Rhino-people have existed in Fighting Fantasy for a while, to the point that they were one of the two examples shown in the "how to build a new race" section of the AFF2E rules, right next to goblins. So I pulled the book out for comparison, and found that TWR rhinos are weaker than those in the core rules, perhaps because the balancing was a little screwy the first time around. They keep their natural armor and horn weapon, but get lower luck and a slew of restrictions like needing to eat twice as much food every day or being clumsy.</p><p>There's a species of amphibious frog people called the Slykk too and they're cool and all, but I hardly gave them a second glance before my eyes drifted up to the banner at the top of the page displaying the other species appearing in the zine's other issues.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitKchxuzoJl-kISO9vXd9KweS0GQaHhhDN7AXSqUZohVD1lS4h9OEVFY58tA5DyBNszPw56cVr39T_NJemYuYYfdyOQMtv8eCxWG8Vhr_LA-V1U54lAi8hjOjyz0SEku8hobNtqWh38pLs3saex5BW3FV-WHOcC3OKNBf49VXYethA60BYvXUa0p_k-lM/s523/TWR%20Banner.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="109" data-original-width="523" height="67" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitKchxuzoJl-kISO9vXd9KweS0GQaHhhDN7AXSqUZohVD1lS4h9OEVFY58tA5DyBNszPw56cVr39T_NJemYuYYfdyOQMtv8eCxWG8Vhr_LA-V1U54lAi8hjOjyz0SEku8hobNtqWh38pLs3saex5BW3FV-WHOcC3OKNBf49VXYethA60BYvXUa0p_k-lM/s320/TWR%20Banner.png" width="320" /></a></div><p>Well shoot. I <i>gotta</i> check out the half-orcs, right?</p><p>Of course I do. So I scoured the issue list until I found that half-orcs appeared in #3, which I quickly backtracked to nab because it was still on sale.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQtauyYYO1lSdTP6nQHZ9UXzDv23l8P7utKMVbk28N8CgxbD9TeKnX2lCTzTB2L3GgbZwTuyBB9cnNbX5NiSwvmPOIo1J-e7NHNlxyFjX80IXAv8eqCSdi8l44AJJRQSgWo2GjOBpP_8jwKq2bPEolnHPk2_tmNswKviqZTdOK26vbxvdBmE4b4LOCKKU/s912/353944.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="912" data-original-width="705" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQtauyYYO1lSdTP6nQHZ9UXzDv23l8P7utKMVbk28N8CgxbD9TeKnX2lCTzTB2L3GgbZwTuyBB9cnNbX5NiSwvmPOIo1J-e7NHNlxyFjX80IXAv8eqCSdi8l44AJJRQSgWo2GjOBpP_8jwKq2bPEolnHPk2_tmNswKviqZTdOK26vbxvdBmE4b4LOCKKU/s320/353944.png" width="247" /></a></div><p>Orcs in the Fighting Fantasy world of Titan are an odd mix. Sometimes they're the cartoonishly-proportioned football hooligans of Warhammer, but other times they're gangling and more humanly nasty thugs like your classic Shagrats and Gorbags. They've also taken the hat normally reserved for humans in fantasy and become the species that seems genetically compatible with just about everything else on the planet. Sometimes these half-orcs are relatively well-adjusted individuals who find friendship and community, such as the Svinn tribe from the Shamutanti Hills. Other times they're the patricidal children of sexual violence like the TWR half-orc.</p><p>Here, half-orcs have it rough. They're unwanted, both cultures despise and mock them, they're prone to being attacked or even enslaved, and the best work they can find for themselves tends to be violent. Some despise their own existence so much that they make it their life's mission to kill all orcs, starting with their orcish parent (who is invariably typed as the father). To account for this miserable societal condition, half-orcs suffer a whopping -3 to any Etiquette test, kneecapping their ability to be social and diplomatic.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh38Gf3qAaT5szyschNk9HZJHl_Hnq-bdlGytV2nUPC0FaBNMUMgTgAd22aWvD0-B4VQDWVlsgdB1MU53QJ8MMcQr18S0hUiNGNAtqvpV4aeakSFVwpU2GLR657UufrX9nh1ztyQUZ_Ac4Cv3YYPqfAMKh-VTPFvdYc-dxav_67M5vvFrLrhjCkTvQP1jk/s462/TWR%20Orc.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="462" data-original-width="312" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh38Gf3qAaT5szyschNk9HZJHl_Hnq-bdlGytV2nUPC0FaBNMUMgTgAd22aWvD0-B4VQDWVlsgdB1MU53QJ8MMcQr18S0hUiNGNAtqvpV4aeakSFVwpU2GLR657UufrX9nh1ztyQUZ_Ac4Cv3YYPqfAMKh-VTPFvdYc-dxav_67M5vvFrLrhjCkTvQP1jk/s320/TWR%20Orc.png" width="216" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A face that, canonically, not even a mother could love. Rough.</td></tr></tbody></table><p>They aren't completely forsaken, though. Half-orcs get some of the versatility of humans in the form of several Advanced Skills and a free Talent choice. They get a few positives from their orcish side as well, like dark seeing and 1 higher starting Skill compared to humans, plus free ranks in Brawling and Strength. They also get a second stomach.</p><p>Oh, right. That probably bears explaining.</p><p>In this world, orcs have multiple stomachs. They rely on these to digest virtually anything that they can find in their nutrient-deficient caves and wastelands. Wood, dirt, bone, even some metals; it's all orc food if they're hungry enough. Half-orcs inherit this "orc tripe", allowing them to eat almost anything without getting sick as well as the option to eat 1 more health-recovering meal per day than normal, but without the requirement that rhino-people suffer.</p><p>To me the TWR half-orc is an interesting and fun option despite its emphasis on a horrid conception and childhood that many other properties (even AD&D back in the day) either keep vague or leave out entirely.</p><p>This is in contrast to another option that I like <i>because</i> of its grimdark background. That is the Black Elves visible in the out-of-order banner above, which are found in TWR issue #6. An issue which I didn't pick up while the sale was on late last year, so I sat on this post idea for a couple of months until I decided to start writing it so that I'd have a justifiable reason to buy the PDF for myself.</p><p>Thank you for enabling me, dear Burrowers!</p><p>Jokes aside, I was meaning to get #6. And I did! So let's get into it.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhClL4oOL61J5OqngvHLAUbip1v93WMNzdypwwMN3B7qNbBIF0OF4NyAKBa2xc2TqfkeLUCosf7mp8Sw5ZY9BET-941-MT6vn1adI-2BHaWnzgNMD0Yn6XOhhyphenhyphenynRZhFtEVfjPxyZ8QOFkJKWLcV8rhyphenhyphenc8iQW5rwedMl5DWflRud98pGjtZ27MD28xbsng/s913/393993.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="913" data-original-width="700" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhClL4oOL61J5OqngvHLAUbip1v93WMNzdypwwMN3B7qNbBIF0OF4NyAKBa2xc2TqfkeLUCosf7mp8Sw5ZY9BET-941-MT6vn1adI-2BHaWnzgNMD0Yn6XOhhyphenhyphenynRZhFtEVfjPxyZ8QOFkJKWLcV8rhyphenhyphenc8iQW5rwedMl5DWflRud98pGjtZ27MD28xbsng/s320/393993.png" width="245" /></a></div><p>Fast forward to #6 and TWR is much the same as it's always been. Jungle Mania is still plugging away, new dungeons, rumors, and story beats for AFF and SA are at a steady flow, Gareus continues to be a hairy schmuck, etc. There's also been a drip feed of updates for project AFF Online, a proprietary website for playing AFF over the internet. It's still dragging its feet through the testing phase, but the team and community seem committed to providing a platform that's more integrated with their game than one of the larger and more general apps like Roll20.</p><p>And then there are the black elves. To really understand them, we have to have an elvish history lesson. Forgive me for what I'm about to put you through.</p><p>Way back in the history of Titan, there was a great battle between Good and Evil that ended with a status quo stalemate and the gods packing up and moving back into the heavens, leaving mortals to their own devices. Elves took the Third Age Elrondy kind of approach and took a backseat to the events of the world, cultivating knowledge and wisdom and advising the forces of Good without doing a whole lot themselves. Over time some elves took serious issue with this, because they believed their people could and <i>should</i> lead the forces of Good to a final triumph over Evil instead of just standing by while bad things happened in the world. But the elven council, a kind of federal monarchy in charge, said no to that; it was a real U.N. Moment in the eyes of the agitators.</p><p>But an energetic young elf-prince with a keen interest in humans named Viridel Kerithrion decided nuts to that, and gathered a large faction of elvish dissenters to lead a coup with. They would wrest power from the complacent and lead the world into a new golden age of goodness and freedom; with the elves and their interests conveniently located at the very top of this new world order, of course. Unfortunately for wannabe elf NATO, the wife of the high king happened to have the gift of foresight and realized something was up, so the most prominent royals of the council didn't even show up on the day of the coup, and Viridel and his coconspirators just killed a bunch of middling nobles before holing up in the council palace in a vain attempt to weather the severe counterattack that came.</p><p>Eventually the siege drove the rebels into underground escape tunnels, which they followed back to Viridel's homeland, where he tried to declare an independent state, only for them to get crushed a second time by the united elf army that they'd just finished evading. They retreated a <i>second</i> time into an ancient abandoned underground dwarf city and locked the door behind them, intending to make their final stand now that they'd pointlessly cornered themselves.</p><p>But instead of mopping up, the other elves decided to give up and went back home. From here, Viridel lead an exodus deep into the bowels of the earth in search of a new home and purpose. Why this supposedly great warrior made so many tactical blunders in a row is not known, and why his people continued to follow him after this point is a mystery to me. But it probably has something to do with this next part.</p><p>See, Viridel's interest in humans led to him becoming an acolyte of a human god in order to fully understand the mindset of those brash, short-lived youngsters. Unfortunately the god he picked was Slangg, god of malice, whom Viridel saw as the embodiment of the human spirit; malicious, petty, vengeful, and violent.</p><p>He's, uh... not <i>completely</i> wrong.</p><p>Slangg corrupted him into a sorcerous, Evil-aligned tyrant <i>a la</i> Malekith from Warhammer, and his followers soon after. They became the very Lolthite variety of subterranean dark elves, black-skinned as an old-timey and <i>yikes</i> shorthand for their inner evil, dabbling in demon worship, slavery, living sacrifice, and all manner of aristocratic decadence in their underground cities as they spread their influence from the shadows.</p><p>But those are the <i>dark</i> elves. The <i>black</i> elves were on board with Viridel's plan for direct action right up until they got their asses handed to them twice in a row and folks started getting sacrificed to names like Demon Prince Myurr. At that point, a handful of elf clans had an 'are we the baddies?' moment and realized that maybe they were getting a raw deal here. So they disavowed their brethren and booked it back up to the surface world. From there, they separated into wandering merchant caravans that now brave the desolate places of Titan, living a nomadic existence supplemented by trade between far-flung cities and protected by mounted archers.</p><p>Despite the name 'black', black elves are actually the most visually diverse elves on Titan. They range from grey to black in pigmentation, and they often decorate their bodies in elaborate programs of magical tattoos and "exotic" clothing and hairstyles. My guess as to why they got saddled with the name 'black' elves is because 'dark elves' was already claimed by a more popular and well-known fantasy archetype, meanwhile the near-synonymous Old Norse term <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svart%C3%A1lfar">Svartálfar</a> was just kind of sitting right there collecting dust.</p><p>The black elves are hated by their dark elf former kin, and their relationship to surface elves and other species isn't much better. They are perpetual exiles who sometimes dip into tropes ascribed to the Romani people and other itinerants, but not <i>too</i> overtly? They actually remind me a bit of the dunmer Ashlanders from The Elder Scrolls, without the Mahdist prophesy. They are complex, downcast but resilient people who are oftentimes the mysterious Other. But as this player option attests, sometimes they're at the center of things.</p><p>As for the actual options, I suppose I've put those off too long. Black elves are mechanically almost identical to system standard wood elves, -2 Stamina. They replace forest lore with underground lore, plus one other environmental lore to reflect their ethnogenesis and more recent history. They get some of their 1 rank Advanced Skills decided for them by automatically gaining con, evaluation, and secret signs: tattoos to play up their sometimes roguish caravaneering. They also get the Survivor talent to represent their living off the land in between cities.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifoIbxYBFCy2IzUqi0PJDr-b-Wjgld0kWHZYvV0rteASby6ZmaETeBhII8k3Zsgnl103RqySvq2Nw_mxNFvRmLShLV5uWq0V9jwenHke0TXuauoLj9yUTi1pOWZxsLGcE37z-nsagtv8qUng8O-FGbZMZZKS2e-Er-lFZLsynJIirCUhFJV4q0v2UW6cA/s600/f22b95b871cd928002f66dfb09634b6a.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="347" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifoIbxYBFCy2IzUqi0PJDr-b-Wjgld0kWHZYvV0rteASby6ZmaETeBhII8k3Zsgnl103RqySvq2Nw_mxNFvRmLShLV5uWq0V9jwenHke0TXuauoLj9yUTi1pOWZxsLGcE37z-nsagtv8qUng8O-FGbZMZZKS2e-Er-lFZLsynJIirCUhFJV4q0v2UW6cA/w231-h400/f22b95b871cd928002f66dfb09634b6a.jpg" width="231" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They also get immunity to the "all elves are conventionally beautiful" stereotype.</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Way more mechanically interesting are the bird people who immediately follow the black elves in this issue. They possess a natural attack, rules for flight and having a cumbersome wingspan, and even a reverse vertigo effect that they suffer from. But I should leave something for you to check out on your own, if this overlong post has piqued your interest in <i>The Warlock Returns</i>. It's got a smattering of good bits.</p><p><br /></p><p>Tangentially related, did you know Elden Ring was <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOM8AtWFTS8">partly</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAgd7oUGVfc">inspired</a> by Fighting Fantasy creatures like Red Eyes and those crystal people with the goofy haircuts? I did not.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-26114660941929781772024-01-28T16:15:00.000-05:002024-01-28T16:15:34.051-05:0010 More Unpublished Manuscripts for Your Failed Novelists<p>Another cluttered, dusty study calls out to you like a banshee heralding the death of your free time and good taste. Tucked away in the dark corners of the world on shelves and in hard drives, monsters of middling quality lie in wait. Won't you give them a read? Won't you let them sink their prose into your tender grey matter? Worse yet, might you dare to seek out the ailing mind that conjured them, or even take one home to finish for yourself?</p><p><br /></p><p>(Content Notice: references to body horror (albeit a positive depiction), extremist ideologies, suicide, and some bad stuff happening to a "kid".)</p><p><i><br /></i></p><p>1<i> Rigatoni, Rig My Tony</i></p><p>Biopunk greaser street racing in a neo-retro-rockabilly world.</p><p>"Somewhere just off the Jersey Turnpike" exists a barely secret world of illegal street racing, vintage American cultural revival, and irradiated pasta. It is a tight-knit community that hearkens back to the old days of American working class disillusionment and youthful anarchy, drenched in pomade and blasting early rock n' roll in the background. But it's not hotrods this group is driving.</p><p>These neo-greasers possess the secret to cooking nuclear material into their food in such a way that it produces spontaneous, superhuman, yet temporary mutations in the imbiber. This food often (though not exclusively) takes the form of a pasta dish from back home, hence any mutant meal gets colloquially glossed as 'rigatoni'. One who is a career rigatoni-eater is similarly known as a 'Tony'.</p><p>Rigatoni gives the eater the ability to rearrange their body's molecular structure, allowing them to rapidly shapeshift into new and oftentimes frightening-looking configurations of flesh, bone, and sinew on the fly. While transformed into these mutable musclebeasts, these racers voluntarily carry a rider on their back (or some other area of their new anatomy) who acts as a sort of coach and orienteer, keeping the Tony on track and reducing any risks of "cognition meltdown". In turn the Tony protects the rider from being reduced to so much human detritus by the speed and violence of an average street race, with disqualification resulting if either party suffers harm. Like a jockey and mount in equal partnership together, they race other duos down lonely stretches of highway, through obstacle courses, and even across densely populated suburban areas on occasion.</p><p>The newest Tony to join the community is Toni, a recent high school expellee. Disowned by her family and suffering severe dysphoria besides, it is her despondent wandering by some old train tracks that puts her face-to-face with a near-skeletal serpentine creature the length of a 16-wheeler and a vaguely simian flesh geyser competing in a 1,000 meter dash. When they both transform back into unassuming mechanics with unscathed riders each, Toni is immediately captivated.</p><p>Toni joins the racers, and in the process of clumsily finding community with them she undergoes the training and conditioning needed to handle rigatoni safely. It is a physically and psychologically demanding process, but she throws herself at it with enthusiasm, and soon makes progress under the tutelage of a junkyard worker and guru known as the Rat Lord. Her first mutation into a thing of 'smoke, oil, and ferro-nails' is an experience of utterly transcendental joy and oneness with her infinite new selves.</p><p>Toni proves to have an aptitude for racing and shifting shape on the fly, and soon rises up the informal score board to become a mid-tier racer. Ironically her biggest point of friction in the community is not racing, but finding the right rider; despite the professionality and strict platonism that most duos conduct themselves with, Toni's interactions with several riders over the course of the novel take on a flavor of almost comedically awkward high school dating.</p><p>The story relies upon several Italian-American stereotypes throughout its plot, but also takes time to depict with some nuance the community and solidarity between Italian, Black, Puerto Rican, and other ethnic minorities who all contributed to the Greaser subculture once upon a time in the real world. This common humanity exists in harmony rather than tension with the common superhumanity of the Tonies, and much of the back half of the novel explores this spectrum through the point of view of Toni.</p><p>In the final race of the story, things go climactically awry. An old, disused bridge over the chosen track collapses under the weight of a Tony's sloughing climb over it, trapping Toni and her newest rider under the rubble. Worse yet, the jarring experience knocks Toni back into her base form, weakening her greatly. When it seems like injuries or depleting oxygen might claim the pair first, the other racers come together to rescue them.</p><p>The writer displays an awareness of—as well as an utter contempt for—the cowardice of subtle writing by having Toni's new found family both figuratively and <i>literally</i> come through for her in ways that her old family never did. They dissolve their bodies into streams and particles thin enough to work their way through the rubble, so that they can reconstitute inside the collapse to protect and free them from within.</p><p>As she limps back home with the other racers, Toni's first thoughts are of immense gratitude, followed quickly by a desire to get back out on the track as soon as possible.</p><p><br /></p><p>2<i> The Sweetest of Things</i></p><p>An ultraviolent splatterpunk action novel revolving around a very stupid conspiracy theory.</p><p>Our protagonist is one Edouard Gagné, an angry young man living in the suburbs of Laval, Quebec. The story begins with Edouard debating what to buy at a convenience store, and having much difficulty with it. The only thing he seems certain of is that he, for whatever reason, despises with every fiber of his being the "godless cads and slatterns" who work at McCain frozen foods. He's in the process of being yelled at by the manager for stomping a bag of mashed potato Smiles when the store comes under attack by a squad of armed and masked men who kill several bystanders and abduct the rest, Edouard included. One of the assailants injects him with something, and he falls unconscious.</p><p>When Edouard awakens, he finds himself in a vast industrial facility somewhere in the wilderness. He handily escapes the meat hook he's tied to and overcomes his captors using hand-to-hand techniques that he allegedly learned from former spec-ops. He leaves the other captives, still unconscious, to explore the facility. He quickly learns from conveniently placed infographic posters that he's in a maple syrup factory, as well as the dark secret behind it.</p><p>In this universe, maple syrup is processed out of the remains of slaughtered Quebecois people on an industrial scale, with the fanciest Grade A syrup coming from people whose ancestry traces back to the earliest <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pure_laine">pure laine</a></i> families of New France. As if to make the deeply uncomfortable parallels to the old myth of blood libel even more explicit, the syrup made from children is sweeter still. As the largest importer of Canadian maple products, the United States is revealed as the mastermind behind this silent and sticky genocide. Maple trees aren't even real; they were invented by the government in the 1950s. </p><p>Edouard bears witness to the process of maple syrup making first-hand as the other captives are brought out on an automated disassembly line that ends in a massive, crimson-gold boiling vat. Edouard reasons that he must be partially resistant to the harvesters' anti-Quebecois sedative because he had a grandfather from Guelph, Ontario (which was always a point of personal shame for him).</p><p>Edouard proceeds to break out of the factory in a bloody rampage. Hounded by heavily armed frozen food trucks, he's eventually chased into the urban heart of Montreal. There, his discovery sparks a violent uprising among the populace that throws the province and much of the rest of eastern Canada into chaos. The people had been waiting for an opportunity to rebel, evidently, and this proves to be the perfect spark. Judging by a mushroom cloud that is briefly glimpsed toward the end, Toronto may even get nuked.</p><p>The book closes with a lengthy afterword about Quebec separatism, with a reading list and several organizations to donate to the cause through. This suggests that despite the over-the-top absurdity of the book and its plot, the author is being entirely, deathly serious about its underlying message.</p><p>Why it is written in American English rather than Canadian French is left unexplained.</p><p><br /></p><p>3<i> Gondwanalandmansaga: The Saga of the Man From Gondwanaland</i></p><p>Sweaty, naked, Lost World-esque survival in a prehistoric jungle.</p><p>Somewhat inexplicably, this sequel to the as-of-yet unpublished <i>The Lay of the Cantankerous Hrütlander</i> is already well underway. It picks up immediately after the book last ends, with our eponymous sullen "hero" transported millions of years back in time by a Norse völva for his transgressions (and general awfulness).</p><p>From the moment he arrives in the past, the Hrütlander is forced to battle against the uniformly savage fauna (and occasionally flora) of the vaguely Jurassic Period land in which he finds himself. Though well-armed upon arrival, the Hrütlander quickly loses his armor and weapons from a combination of battle damage, and just plain being so badass that his possessions crumble around him without a hope of keeping up. Even his prized atgeir doesn't survive his trip through the digestive tract of an unusually large <i>razanandrongobe</i>.</p><p>Thus reduced to galivanting about the steaming jungles in nothing but a loincloth and a perpetual sheen of sweat, the Hrütlander goes 'native' as the book describes, despite the fact that there are no natives to emulate in the middle Mesozoic Era. The text makes a point of contrasting the Hrütlander's past glories with his present (even more past) low points, including juxtaposing the memories of an orgiastic mead hall feast with a truly hideous bout of dysentery.</p><p>The Hrütlander's luck turns around when he decides to raise an egg that he finds in an abandoned nest rather than eating it. The egg soon hatches into an easily domesticated <i>Chilesaurus diegosuarezi</i>, which somehow manages to serve as the Hrütlander's trusty steed for the remainder of the book. The Hrütlander names it Feytrdrekki, or "fat dragon", rendered in the author's typical style of barely grasping and then creatively misspelling Old Norse words. Chilesaurus was an herbivore, but the Hrütlander raises Feytrdrekki on the same exclusively-meat diet as himself. They form a bond, and the Hrütlander almost comes to regard his mount with something resembling respect and affection; an understated landslide of character development, all told.</p><p>The Hrütlander and Feytrdrekki carry on for some time, hunting and carving a path of destruction through the jungles until they happen upon something peculiar; a set of tracks belonging to no creature they've yet seen or eaten. Somehow the Hrütlander instantly deduces that they must belong to a biped of similar size and build to a human being. He further surmises that they must belong either to an intelligent species, or to another person shot backward through time. The novel ends as they follow the tracks into the heart of the jungle, where a misty chain of mountains rises ominously in the distance.</p><p>Again, the final line declares that the story shall continue in the next installment, <i>The </i><i>Cantankerous Hrütlander and the Fortress-City of the Reptilians</i>. There is so far no inkling that this has been written or even plotted out yet. Hopefully it stays that way.</p><p><br /></p><p>4 <i><strike>Po Beg's</strike> Säbig's Yurt Cart</i></p><p>A contemplative historical fiction drama about the last khatun of the Second Turkic Khaganate.</p><p>The novel follows Qutluğ Säbig Qatun as she leads the remnants of the royal Ashide clan into exile. The story is told from the perspective of her yurt cart, which groans under the weight of memory and empathetic anguish as it bears the khatun south into Tang dynasty China. The cart "feels" the thoughts and motivations of anyone in direct contact with it, creating a sort of wandering third person limited omniscient point of view through which the story is told.</p><p>Through the cart, we learn how Säbig lost her husband and two sons to the chaos of mid-8th century Turkic nomadic politics. She married her husband the Bilge Khagan while he was still a prince, but soon after found herself queen regent for her two sons after he was poisoned. The long-standing rivalry between the Khaganate and the Tang Dynasty had recently reached yet another boiling point with the Tang ascendant, and it is not hard for many at the khagan's court to believe he was poisoned by traitors in league with the emperor.</p><p>The resulting atmosphere of paranoia tears the aristocracy apart. The khaganate becomes effectively divided between its western and eastern governors, who pay only lip service to the little khagans, Yollıg and Tengri. Säbig, for her part, ruthlessly defends her children from would-be assassins and usurpers while also maneuvering to assassinate the governors and rake back centralized control of the empire. It ends in ruin, with one son and then other other murdered or dead under mysterious circumstances. One governor revolts, and his rebellion proves to be the match that lights the whole powder keg on fire. Säbig and her entourage barely escape the dissolution of the long-ailing empire into a free-for-all battle between Karluks, Basmyls, Uyghurs, and competing clans of Göktürks.</p><p>The exodus south is a long, grueling, downcast affair. For the first time in years, Säbig is forced to interact with the commoners and bondservants among her subjects who do much of the work migrating hundreds of people and thousands of herd animals across the bitter Inner Asian steppe. She makes overtures to win the people over, but much like her efforts to cut the rot out of the festering political situation back home, it proves to be too little too late.</p><p>At one point a resourceful herder stands before the cart briefly to receive Säbig's commendation, and in that moment the cart feels all of the anger and resentment, mixed with sorrow and distant pity, that the people feel for their rulers. Feelings that some praise and the occasional gift of a brocade deel can hardly dampen, Säbig knows. She releases a young handmaid from her service so that they may marry, and the brief moment of utter relief and elation to be free of that cart is something the likes of which never felt before or again by anyone in the narrative.</p><p>The yurt cart grows old and rickety meanwhile, breaking down several times and falling into disarray during the journey. Its internal narrative grows increasingly bitter, absorbing all the anger of its riders and attendants until the wood can almost be heard writhing and groaning while at rest. It is ambiguous whether or not Säbig realizes this.</p><p>But things barely hold together until, finally, Säbig's wagon train limps its way into the only refuge that will take them. Ironically, this is the palace of the Xuanzong Emperor, located in the capital of Chang'an.</p><p>The emperor plays the part of a magnanimous host, throwing a banquet for Säbig and welcoming her clan as honored guests. But his every kind deed twists the knife in the wound: he extends his protection after observing that they have no proper khagan to lead them; he offers them land at the margins of the empire, knowing full well that this will render them a buffer state; he even has the audacity to name Säbig princess and appoint her as the leader of her own people.</p><p>Säbig's rage nearly boils over at this, and the cart silently screams for her to act. It begs her to tear a spar out of its body and run the smugly smiling emperor through with it. It yearns for one last defiance in fire and blood, even if it would be reduced to kindling for it.</p><p>Säbig ultimately decides not to, and accepts the emperor's gifts even as her tongue and palms bleed from the force of her restraint. The emperor sends her and her people away with one last parting insult; a stipend of flour to last them until harvest season, for the nomads and horsemen are to be reduced to farmers. The yurt cart's suffering finally ends when it is hacked to pieces for spare lumber needed to build the former khatun's new residence.</p><p>It ends up being the house she dies in.</p><p>The manuscript itself was written using a physical typewriter, which while charming and old-fashioned, seems to have left the writer in a despondent state. Next to the book rests a <a href="https://ir.library.osaka-u.ac.jp/repo/ouka/all/69762/sial29_057.pdf">copy of an academic journal on Asian languages</a>, turned to a page that reveals that the traditional spelling of the khatun's name, Po Beg, is based on a very old transcription error made by some medieval scribe.</p><p>The writer has endeavored to hand-correct every single instance of the name in the entire book to Säbig in pen; a process that they seem to have gotten almost halfway through, before giving up.</p><p><i><br /></i></p><p>5 <i>Guañacguyon</i></p><p>A bird's-eye view alternate history that chronicles the exodus of a large proportion of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanches">Guanche peoples</a> from their homes in the Canary Islands sometime in the 1st millennium BCE.</p><p>The exact reasons are left vague, but some sort of disaster is alluded to regularly, as well as a few hints that events take place right around when maritime imperialism is ramping up for the first time in the Mediterranean Sea. These voyagers rename themselves the Guañacguyon, meaning "people of the boats" in the very rough reconstruction of the Guanche language that the author seemingly developed by themself.</p><p>The people of the boats briefly tarry in floating communities across the Atlantic coast of North Africa, where they interact with their distant Amazigh relations for the first time in centuries. But before long local conditions push the Guañacguyon out to sea again, and within a generation they colonize the majority of Macaronesia- with the notable exception of what would become the islands of Flores and Corvo in the Azores. There, the voyagers encounter heavenly phenomena that they interpret to mean that Achamán, the sky-god, has forbidden them to go any farther west. The islands and westward expansion in general become forbidden in Guañacguyon culture, and the taboo is observed from that point forward.</p><p>A nearby textbook on the diffusionist model of cultural development (savagely annotated) and a folder full of memes mocking Thord Heyerdahl might be an indication as to why the author chose to sidestep the possibility of the voyagers crossing the Atlantic.</p><p>With the west forbidden and the north and east too dangerous for them, the Guañacguyon and their descendants instead spread southward.</p><p>With generations of growing mastery of the sea combined with some luck, they sail the Atlantic Gyres deep into the South Atlantic. What would one day become Ascension Island, Saint Helena, and Tristan da Cunha are settled one by one in the intervening centuries, kept united by a web of religiopolitical relationships. The Guañacguyon become one of the southernmost populations of humans in the premodern era with their final wave of settlements in South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands.</p><p>From here, the far-flung Guañacguyon communities grow isolated from one another and separate culturally as well as linguistically. The list of taboos they observe grows until it begins to hinder rather than protect the observers. The once precarious but dependable lines of trade and interconnectedness between islands break down, leading to... <i>something?</i></p><p>At this point the text breaks down into several unfinished possibilities as to where this goes from here; a multiple-choice question of how to end the story. Societal collapse is guaranteed in all scenarios, but the exact speed and nature changes between each. In one, an increasingly stratified society leads to a theocratic priest caste in Saint Helena declaring war on all other humans. In another, a rogue faction splits off and sails east, where they unwittingly disturb something vaguely eldritch in the Kerguelen islands. In another, it's just good old-fashioned climate change that does the isolated and subpolar societies in. In every ending, no trace of the civilization is left by the time the colonial powers of the early modern period reach their deserted islands.</p><p>The writer has apparently consulted friends to beta-read the draft to help them get past this impasse. Much of the collected commentary is mildly positive and votes in one direction or the other, but one response underlined several times in red is somewhat more scathing.</p><p>The last reader questions why this work of alternate history exists to begin with. By ensuring that the story remains entirely self-contained and isolated from the rest of the march of history, it does nothing to encourage the reader to contemplate and reconsider the real history of the world, which they extol as one of the great strengths of the alternate history genre. They compare it to a bottle episode in a TV series, but with no characters or interpersonal plot to anchor it. In their biting final words the reader calls <i>Guañacguyon</i> unfortunately nihilistic; not in its tone, but in its ultimate meaninglessness and self-devaluation.</p><p><br /></p><p>6 <i>Lo-Fics</i></p><p>A collection of short stories about indie music creators stumbling through their art. Each story is written by a different author, and despite the near-completeness of the project it seems that the group has been trying and failing due to incompatible scheduling to coordinate one last meeting before pitching it to publishers.</p><p>"Nindalf". Bleak Conjurer is an aspiring dungeon synth creator who is struggling to overcome his preoccupation with style over substance. He spends the majority of his creative energy renaming his persona, searching for the <i>perfect</i> VST plugins, finding artists to commission for the covers of the albums he hasn't recorded yet, and borderline-stalking people on Bandcamp. Meanwhile his hand-me-down keyboard collects dust in the corner. Chief of all concerns is that he can't find a Tolkienian name to use for an album title that no one else in the scene has used yet, because that's what every good artist (and many absolutely trash ones) eventually does, right? His feelings of inertia make him irritable and combative, and his IRC channels devolve into squabbling with friends and peers on more than one occasion. Eventually he is snapped out of it by the somber realization that he is going to need to create some good and meaningful tracks if he wants to compensate for the title he's chosen. Because at last, he finds the one name from LotR that no one has ever tried using, for somewhat obvious reasons: <a href="https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Nindalf">Wetwang</a>.</p><p>"inb4 Shuto Express". kat/anna and Yng_Bld are two members of the nascent lofi hip hop scene who rightly believe they are bearing witness to the unfolding of a new chapter in music history. They also believe they are being visited and guided by the ghost of Nujabes, which is somewhat problematic because it's 2004 and Seba Jun isn't actually dead; <i>Modal Soul</i> hasn't even been released yet. But a little ontology won't get in their way, and the duo sets about creating a... something. Despite their enthusiasm to do something for the genre, they aren't entirely sure what they want to create- and having to make rent for their tiny room above the falafel place every month keeps getting in the way. They know they want to combine the format of music radio with the community insights of a talk show, plus the increasingly unparalleled accessibility of the internet. Without ever knowing the name for it, they end up cobbling together a sort of cult following proto-podcast that helps spotlight some of the earliest up-and-coming chillhop artists. In time even the old falafel guy gets in on the project, debuting the career of MC Such-n-Such and his short-lived but highly experimental "Nilestep" genre.</p><p>"(S)CREED". This mix of civil courtroom drama and epistolary tale gives the reader a glimpse into a drawn-out civil court battle between two underground Oregon-based metal bands. Hate's Creed (blackened death metal) and Hate Screed (melodic black-death metal) each claim that they were founded first, and that the similarities between the bands' names, sound, and imagery have caused consumer confusion, loss of revenue, and even damage to reputation for which the other party is liable. The fact that the bands' logos are almost identically jagged and inscrutable doesn't help matters. As the bands go back and forth making their case before an increasingly disaffected judge, the personal lives and struggles of the individual band members begin to bleed through the collection of emails, texts, courtroom minutes, and occasional sticky notes.</p><p>"Hate Death". The second half to "(S)CREED" covering the conclusion and aftermath of the drama. Despite how bitter and borderline-violent the dispute becomes between parties, the case is eventually dropped when the majority of both bands' members realize that they are all in the same clandestine yet mostly inept fascist movement. The two members who had somehow remained entirely out of the loop—a keyboardist and a supporting vocalist—quit their respective bands in disgust, only to meetcute a few months later while in the hospital for foot injuries sustained from kicking their former bandmates in the face outside of Portland. They embark on a new, more positive musical project (as well as a tentative relationship) together, naming the group Death of Hate.</p><p>"Idoll". In the midst of profound grief at the death of her beloved grandmother, a woman falls into the warm embrace of nostalgia. She moves into her grandmother's old cottage, fixes it up, and begins to live a deliberately kitschy, Thomas Kinkade-esque existence as a way of keeping her spirit close, fixating often on her grandmother's prized porcelain and cloth doll collection. While browsing the web on her struggling old iMac one lonely holiday evening, the woman stumbles upon comfy synth and falls woefully in love with the genre. She takes her grandmother's name, Irma, as her screenname and quickly establishes herself in the scene with the release of a series of especially bittersweet singles. Irma becomes a divisive figure in the community when she and her fandom begin to critique the aesthetics and sound of other creators for not being the "right" kind of nostalgia that matches her own idealized memories of life spent with grandma. Things escalate, and soon Irma is actively policing the comfy synth scene, fracturing the already tiny microgenre and spinning off a toxic "trad cozy" offshoot. Ultimately Irma is violently shunted back into reality when in the middle of bullying someone with a mushroom person avatar, the iMac's ancient power supply explodes and ignites her grandmother's doll collection.</p><p>"A Bus to the Sea". The travelogue of a solo instrumental alt-rock artist named Susurrus. Susurrus is a skeletally thin, soft-spoken bassist with arachnodactyl fingers and a retrofitted VW bus who drives around the country (somewhere vaguely in North America) listening for samples to record for their ambient music. They are most interested in the sounds of industry, urban landscapes, and water, so they follow a winding route through the rainiest and densest cities on their way to their ultimate destination, the sea. Along the way they have many quirky encounters with other travelers and oddballs at gas stations, campgrounds, and parking lots at 3:00 AM. (Various permutations of 3-0-0 appear throughout the story; seemingly of personal significance to the author that is not elaborated upon.) Through these encounters and foulweather friendships, we get a peek into Susurrus' vanlife and their personal bent on the philosophy of minimalist living. At every opportunity, the heavily distorted deep drone of their bass guitar is contrasted with the softness and meekness of their speaking voice, which struggles to get a word in edgewise during their mostly one-sided conversations with larger-than-life personalities. Susurrus lives in the margins of their own story until they come to the realization before the crashing waves of a grey, stormy beach that in all their recording, they have been looking for their own voice.</p><p><br /></p><p>7 <i>Come Heck or No Water</i></p><p>This hefty graphic novel illustrates the endearingly pathetic trials and tribulations of the demon lord Heckadeath.</p><p>Heckadeath is a rotund, diminutive little creature, potbellied and goat-legged like the most stereotypical depictions of a demon one could find in a PG-rated movie. He has a large ambition, however; he wants to become Marquis of Hell.</p><p>In the backstory of the novel, the State of Deseret seceded from the United States to become a presidential theocracy in the mid-1800s. But after living in Utah for nearly a hundred years, the Mormons decided to find someplace nicer to settle. So they began invading Hell. By the time Heckadeath comes into the picture, Hell has been reduced to a rump state and every title higher than Marquis has been abolished or abdicated. No one has heard from Lucifer in decades, and he is presumed dead.</p><p>The process of being elevated to office is surprisingly meritocratic, with every 1 evil deed performed on Earth translating to 1 vote cast in one's name. Good deeds, however rare they are, erase 1 vote with no cap in either direction. The 'elections' are held once every 100 years and 1 day. Normally the top demons trade titles such as Marquis back and forth between themselves, but recent deaths among the frontrunners have thrown the process into chaos and given slim hope to such underdogs as Heckadeath.</p><p>The story picks up as Heckadeath narrowly escapes a squad of LDS commandos by opening up a portal to the languishing city of San Bernardino, California in the late 1980s. There, he sets about performing wicked acts and establishing a cult of fanatical worshipers. Or at least that's the plan. In reality his grand schemes are so incompetent or milquetoast that they end up being harmless or beneficial to their victims more often than not, and the only 'cultists' whom Heckadeath attracts are a group of Goths and Wiccans who adopt him after they realize 'Heckie' can't keep himself out of trouble.</p><p>Over the course of the novel Heckie and his handlers tangle with crust punks, carnies, US Marshals, NIMBYs, Mormon wetwork squads, and a multi-billion dollar scheme to privatize all drinking water on the West Coast. When the elections in Hell roll around, Heckie is devastated to learn that he received thousands of votes- in the <i>negative</i>. He becomes the laughingstock of Hell. But his incompetence also gets his name taken off of most assassination lists, while his unwitting good works get him written into the ballot for the coincidentally concurrent election for Mayor of San Bernardino. He wins handily, defeating both the incumbent and the main opposition by a landslide.</p><p>The story ends as Heckadeath bemusedly walks into his new office in an ill-fitting suit and tie, his witchy cabinet already hard at work setting up his new administration.</p><p><br /></p><p>8 <i>Didacts on the Knowing of Hlaax, Vol. DCCCXIV</i></p><p>Framed as the newest volume in a long-running encyclopedia, this tome describes the fantastical lands and their occupants which have recently been conquered by the ascendant Hlaax Empire.</p><p>The Hlaax, like any empire, maintains its position through the monopolization of violence. But somewhat uniquely the Hlaax's monopoly is not martial or economic in nature; the empire is noted for having only a token military force. Rather, its violence is metaphysical and epistemological.</p><p>The Hlaax Empire possesses the power to manipulate the knowledge and perceptions of other peoples from afar. By some unknown means its ruling caste can weave enchantments that spread outward from the empire's capital city like a web or net. They can gradually ingratiate a group to the Hlaax, or make them forget their native language and customs. With the aid of an immense, hyper-detailed world map they can even draw borders that then have real, material impacts on that area and how the people there conceive of the land around them.</p><p>Once a region has been more-or-less bloodlessly conquered, the empire moves in to begin the process of Knowing.</p><p>"Knowing" is a bit of a misnomer. It is not an acquisition of knowledge of the conquered region, but rather an imposition of knowledge upon it. The empire fits the land, its peoples, places, even flora and fauna into a single overarching worldview of imperfect radial diffusion; that everything is a pale corruption of the perfect, Platonic ideals that can be found within the Hlaaxi imperial core. This degeneration of ideals worsens the farther out from the heartland one goes, creating a system in which every conquered region has an immediate superior, and is also incentivized to accelerate the conquest of their immediate inferior. Hlaax, naturally, is at the center of this hierarchy.</p><p>Place names are altered, old cultural traditions are eliminated or "corrected", and perceived mental illnesses like speaking a language other than the standardized Hlaaxi tongue are cured with severe medicine. And while the conquered never, ever achieve parity within the empire, many still fall into line and become another rung in the ladder. And then it is as if they had always been imperfect Hlaaxi, working toward the ultimate goal of Mirroring.</p><p>Almost nothing is written about Hlaaxi religion, because such a thing is considered blasphemous in a society where the written word can and regularly does warp reality. But what can be gleaned is the idea that through obedience and correct Knowing, the occupants of outer circles may be reborn farther within, as their soul progressively sheds more and more layers of degeneration. Eventually, it is promised, the soul enters into union with and Mirrors the ideal from which it fell so long ago.</p><p>Another way to describe this is that not even death will free you from the empire.</p><p>Not everything succumbs to this bending of reality, however. The process of Knowing is imperfect. Scribbled in invisible ink in the margins, spelled out in random bolding and obvious spelling errors, secret messages can be found throughout the text. The author of this volume is a member of a diffuse and disorganized mental resistance, or perhaps they hope that through the act of writing they can will such a thing into existence.</p><p>In a final act of rebellion the author reveals that their name, not the name forced into them but <i>their</i> name fought and wept over is <span style="color: white;">Shai-qib, of a place once named Bamla.</span></p><p><br /></p><p>9 <i>Muscleman Curry</i></p><p>A rather saccharine children's novel about food, archaeology, and the ethics of tourism.</p><p>The exceptionally WASPy Preston Forthright and his seven year-old daughter Addison arrive in the city of Krung Thep, Thailand, which the story consciously favors over the more common English name of Bangkok. Preston is an archaeologist specialized in Southeast Asia, and he wishes to extol in his daughter a fondness for the field and an appreciation of its morals and values- simplified for a child, of course.</p><p>Preston organizes a busy schedule touring museums and archaeological sites across Krung Thep and the larger Chao Phraya River Delta. The schedule is packed to the point that them going to every location in just one week strains credulity somewhat, especially considering that Thailand is at the height of its tourism season. But before setting out on their first day, they stop to get a bite to eat at one of Taling Chan district's famous floating markets.</p><p>Here, Preston and Addison meet Nuu, the aging operator of a curry stall at the edge of the market. He is fluent in English—or more fluent than Preston is in Thai or Malay anyway—and the three become friends almost immediately. Nuu is delighted to no end when he serves them each a bowl of Massaman curry on the house, and Addison inexpertly renders it as "muscleman curry". Nuu soon decides to close up shop and accompany them as a combination of interpreter, guide, and occasional student.</p><p>What follows are 9 chapters themed around the 9 principles of ethics in American archaeology, from responsible stewardship and accountability to cultural outreach and safe workplace environments. More ink is spilled here on the significance of naga-headed ponds at ancient Hindu temples than possibly anywhere else in a children's book, though perhaps that was for good reason; the middle of the book begins to drag on.</p><p>The novel tries but struggles to discuss the issues of tourism and how to address them. For as much care and effort that Preston puts into raising Addison to be an ethical person, the actual lesson being taught eventually boils down to "do all the normal things a tourist does, but politely and while handing out giant tips". They go to all the same places, see all the same sites, even visit a famed tourist trap that causes them to meet Nuu to begin with, etc.</p><p>There is also something to be said of the way Preston teaches Nuu about the history of his own culture. Nuu is not a completely passive actor in this; he frequently interjects with bits and pieces of what he remembers from his own schooling as a child. But the fact that Preston knows more about Thailand on average and educates Nuu about it falls into more than one "White Savior" trope.</p><p>Shorter interlude segments pass the narrative torch over to Nuu, who introduces the Forthrights to more lived examples of Thai culture. He also invites them back to his home in Krung Thep, where an extensive cross-section of Thai family life is wrapped up with the revelation that 'Nuu' is his public-facing nickname rather than his given name. Addison is entertained to learn that <i>nuu</i> means mouse, and starts pestering Preston for her own nickname on-and-off for the remainder of their visit.</p><p>At the conclusion of their vacation, the Forthrights return to Nuu's food stall for one last meal before catching their flight home. There, they find that he has completely rebranded his stall in honor of his new friends. A painted façade of a circus strongman now stands above the counter, proudly holding aloft a steaming bowl of food while frozen mid-flex. "Muscleman Curry" is open for business.</p><p><br /></p><p>10 <i>Second Shots</i></p><p>A psychological thriller about a time traveler who wanted a fresh start.</p><p>The nameless first-person narrator introduces themself as your typical hopeless, self-loathing older millennial who wouldn't be missed and wouldn't want to be missed besides. They receive an anonymous text one night asking them if they want to reset their life, and they find themself deep enough in ennui and beer ramen to say "to hell with it" and agree.</p><p>After a trip to a seemingly abandoned warehouse with a surprisingly professional-looking lobby and medical facility inside of it, the narrator gets strapped into a pod-shaped device that will, allegedly, send them back in time to their early childhood with most of their memories intact. The idea is that with perfect hindsight, they can correct their many regrets and 'what if?'s throughout life. The pod fills with warm fluid, and the narrator falls asleep.</p><p>The narrator wakes up still submerged in fluid, but of a very different sort. Unable to move or breathe, they drift helplessly as something slowly pulls them through an increasingly, agonizingly narrow space that threatens to crush their skull and break their shoulders. It isn't until after a blinding flash of light and an agonizing breath that they realize they were just conscious for their own birth. Amazed and horrified, the narrator faints.</p><p>What follows is a rough few months as the narrator slowly gains motor function of their new infant body, feeling trapped like a near-vegetable all the while. Slowly, bit by bit, they ambitiously begin to wiggle, crawl, and eventually walk. To their parents, they are developing at an amazingly fast pace, but no one is tipped off to the truth of the matter.</p><p>A renaissance of sorts begins as the narrator indulges in joys, freedoms, and love that they hadn't known for decades, all while building up a reputation as a preternaturally excellent child. Now and then they feel the temptation to exploit their combination of knowledge and youth, mostly to get one over on obnoxious adults. But for the most part the narrator just bides their time, waiting for the opportunity to retake the biggest first steps of their life.</p><p>This changes at the age of 6, when the narrator tries to coax their family away from an ill-advised camping trip that got their childhood dog sick. Attempting to speak upon the matter causes the narrator severe disorientation and nausea, culminating in a seizure that lands them in the hospital overnight. Over the next few weeks they cautiously try to push the envelop with other decisions, all ending the same way. The narrator realizes in mounting horror that going against the 'canon' of their previous life is almost impossible to effect, as if this new timeline was somehow enforcing its will upon them.</p><p>Through trial and error (and deeply worried parents) they come to figure out how far they can change things. The broad arc of their childhood continues unchanged, but minor details can be tweaked and altered. Depression and hopelessness return as they realize they can do nothing to stop the tragedies of their own time from happening.</p><p>The bulk of the book sees the narrator in this state of tension, as early childhood gives way to adolescence and then the tween years. School is effortless, most of the time at least; elementary school math still kicks their ass, much to their chagrin. But they remain aloof from kids 'their age', unable to relate to them and unable to divulge the truth to anyone at all.</p><p>This internal agony culminates when an old crush of the narrator asks them to a dance, and in a moment of surprised delight, they agree. Soon after, the narrator begins to dwell in increasing revulsion upon the fact that while they are physically the same age, the narrator is mentally several decades older than their once-again crush. Realizing what this makes them—at least from a certain point of view—the narrator promptly jumps in front of a bus.</p><p>Once again they wake up confused and disoriented, this time in a clean medical room. For a moment they are relieved to find they must never have left the warehouse, only to look down at their tiny, broken body and realize that they did not wake up from a nightmare, that they are in fact still in the past, and they survived the collision.</p><p>A childhood psychologist visits the narrator in their hospital room to try and suss out the details of why they attempted suicide. The entire book is revealed to be the narrator's relaying of events up to this point to the psychologist, through gritted teeth and multiple seizures. The narrator even manages to get in a few words edgewise about events yet to occur before a coma hits. Finally, mercifully, the narrator dies.</p><p>An epilogue framed as personal notes by the psychologist expresses their feelings on the whole tragedy.</p><p>The psychologist hold their breath as disasters, inventions, and elections all pan out just as the narrator revealed. They reflect upon the feeling of helplessness to change what is still yet to come, combined with all of the other existential dread that the case of the unchild prompted. But they do not feel quite so helpless as the narrator did, and eventually resolve to track down and intercept an operation at a warehouse not terribly far from here.</p><p>If the time traveling project still exists in the divergent timeline created by the narrator's death, changes need to be made.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-67680740506058262532023-12-25T21:02:00.000-05:002023-12-25T21:02:00.748-05:00Narblesnard Reveler, & Other TROIKA! Backgrounds I Completely Forgot About for Like Two Years<p style="text-align: left;">In classic Furtive fashion, I fretted over a post for several days in a row and got it around 80% finished before completely forgetting about it for years. Earlier today when I found out that it's not only December but <i>late</i> December, I started to scramble for something seasonal to write. Failing in that, next by chance I searched through my unfinished drafts for anything containing the word "Narblesnard", and lo did I find this neglected installment in that series of shamelessly self-referential <i>Troika!</i> backgrounds that I was working on for a while in the hopes of eventually publishing a d66 table (which will still happen Eventually).</p><p style="text-align: left;">The other backgrounds don't really have a common thread between them, certainly nothing holiday-themed, so think of this post as more of an ugly, re-gifted sweater than a proper present. But hey, that's more than I usually manage to do on short notice.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2017/12/the-true-meaning-of-narblesnard.html">Blessed Narblesnard</a> and stay safe, dear Burrowers. May your <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2019/12/the-scrap-goblin.html">Scrap Goblin</a> find you ragged yet whole this coming year. I promise I have less mechanical stuff coming down the pipe after this.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Beaten Chieftain</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">Your tribe of techno-barbarians follows a simple code of governance: leaders and representatives are elected on an <i>ad hoc</i> basis, and all eligible voters do so with their fists. The candidate who receives (and endures) the most punches from their fellow tribesfolk is appointed to temporary office. Unfortunately your platform proved to be a little <i>too</i> popular with your fellows, and you passed out under the hail of approval. Now you nurse your bruises and hope to toughen up before the next caucus.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Possessions</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>A Mild Concussion.</i></li><li><i>Muscles, Scar Tissue, Callouses & Microfractures</i> (Lightly Armoured).</li><li><i>No Shirt, ever.</i></li><li><i>A Data-Sphere</i> filled with your ancestors' wisdom and also workout tips.</li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Advanced Skills</b></p><div style="text-align: left;">4 Pain Tolerance</div><div style="text-align: left;"><div>3 Athletics<br /></div><div>3 Tribal Law</div></div><div style="text-align: left;">2 Unarmed Fighting</div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Special</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">Whenever you strike a Mighty Blow with an Unarmed attack, you deal triple damage instead of double. <br />Additionally, people who have punched you in the face find it easier to like you.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2017/10/ekundayo-13.html">Delta Dead-Keeper</a></b></p><p style="text-align: left;">You are called "necromancer" by some, and on the surface that may appear true. You speak to the dead, and under great duress might beseech their help. But you love the spirits in your care, and strive to see the wheel spin on, uninterrupted. The humid river deltas still echo with your jovial songs to the dead, even in your absence.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Possessions</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>Weathered Old Staff</i></li><li><i>Talisman-Bedecked Robes</i></li><li><i>Coffin</i> containing a <i>Deceased Loved One</i></li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Advanced Skills</b></p><div style="text-align: left;">3 Etiquette</div><div style="text-align: left;">3 Religion (Ancestors Cult)</div><div style="text-align: left;">2 Second Sight</div><div style="text-align: left;">2 Spell - Banish Spirit<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">1 Singing</div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Special</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">You can see all ghosts and undead by the aura around them. It's impossible <i>not</i> to see them, they're so glaring and bright. You can also speak to all undead and corpses, even if they are normally mindless. Getting fruitful conversation out of them is another matter, though.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2020/02/graft-elves.html">Graft-Elf Beautician</a></b></p><p style="text-align: left;">Once feared, reviled, and propagandized against for tinkering with flesh, outsiders now seek your kind out for the potential that you can draw out of the physical form. With enough time, patience, sinew, and bone, you can induct anyone into the Fair Folk. But the creativity of a yearning heart knows no bounds, and you must search far and wide for just the right donors.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Possessions</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>Far Too Many Knives</i></li><li>3 doses of <i>Anesthesia</i></li><li><i>Dreadful Beauty</i></li><li>1 Random Roll on a <i>Mutation/Augment/Prosthetic table</i> of your choice.</li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Advanced Skills</b></p><div style="text-align: left;">3 Surgery</div><div style="text-align: left;">2 Healing</div><div style="text-align: left;">2 Inspire Awe</div><div style="text-align: left;">1 Knife Fighting</div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Special</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">You may Test Your Luck to perform a special surgery upon a creature to add or replace an appendage or other body part. This process requires a day of uninterrupted preparation and work, the spare parts in question, and enough anesthesia to knock out your patient (unless you are operating upon yourself). Failing the roll or interrupting the process reduces the target to 1 Stamina.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2017/12/the-true-meaning-of-narblesnard.html">Narblesnard Reveler</a></b></p><p style="text-align: left;">You are one of the little hole-dwellers living next to the perilous woodland realm of the squirrels. You celebrate the winter solstice as a time of quiet and safety, when the narbling horde has finally laid itself down for hibernation. Yet you know in your heart that their malice always lurks close by, no matter where in the spheres you've burrowed yourself to.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Possessions</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>An Anxiety Disorder</i> of your choosing.</li><li><i>Letter Opener</i> (Damage as Knife).</li><li><i>Running Moccasins</i> with <i>Decade-Old Socks</i>.</li><li><i>Sack</i> of d66 <i>Acorns</i>.</li><li>Jar of <i>Emergency Peanut Butter</i>.</li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Advanced Skills</b></p><div style="text-align: left;">3 Run Away</div><div style="text-align: left;">2 Foraging<br />2 Sneak<br />2 Woodland Lore</div><div style="text-align: left;">1 Evoke Pity<br /></div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Special</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">You instinctively know the exact location, health, and aggression level of all squirrels, chipmunks, marmots, or other sciurids within a 1 kilomile radius.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2017/07/the-sea-nomads.html">Sea Nomad Mariner</a></b></p><p style="text-align: left;">Your people are born of the sea, and the sea of stars and spheres is just another ocean for you to explore and conquer. Or so you thought. Your flotilla is scattered, and you are marooned on curious shores. But you hold true to the teachings of the Eternal Blue Above & Below and keep floating on.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Possessions</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>An <i>Old War-Dinghy</i> painted in totemic images and tamghas.</li><li><i>Brocaded Sailcloth Sarong.</i></li><li><i>Fishing Net</i>, sporting a few holes.</li><li><i>Waterproof Composite Bow</i> (Damage as Bow) and 20 <i>Arrows</i>.</li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Advanced Skills</b></p><div style="text-align: left;">4 Sailing</div><div style="text-align: left;">3 Archery<br />3 Climb</div><div style="text-align: left;">2 Use Rope</div><div style="text-align: left;">1 Manatee Herding</div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Special</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">While piloting an outrigger canoe, catamaran, war-dinghy, or other small water vessel, you may Test Your Luck to perform extraordinary tricks with it. This includes but is not limited to jumps, banks, rolls, sailing against the wind, and the time-honored tradition of oar jousting.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Uncrowned Monarch</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">That petulant, shrouded upstart. He did this to you. After he stole your crown, it all went downhill. He broke the natural order of things- surely the people would not have otherwise risen up and deposed their liege and lord? No. 𝒰𝓃𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒. The blame lies squarely with him, and with your vengeance you will reclaim your kingdom. You will claim many. You will slay the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_MSFkZHNi4">Double King</a>.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Possessions</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>A <i>Compulsively Well-Maintained Royal Seal.</i></li><li><i>Tattered Royal Robes.</i></li><li><i>Mostly Ceremonial Weapon</i> of your choice.</li><li>A <i>Sad little Replacement Crown.</i></li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Advanced Skills</b></p><div style="text-align: left;"><div>4 Self-Aggrandizement</div><div>2 Fencing</div><div>2 Oration<br />2 Ride</div></div><div style="text-align: left;">1 Etiquette</div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Special</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">Your obsession with "good breeding" allows you to identify the genealogy of anyone you come in contact with, and determine whether or not they are a royal. "Royalty" is a culturally subjective term you have no control over.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-69688996889279751262023-12-10T12:11:00.002-05:002023-12-10T12:11:40.809-05:00GLOG Class: Goblin Auntie<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkDUgHEN_dO78Nw2hBXXO66IvRYtQJyBwLk9vKHjFF2i_XtyqbUaufyFlf_mcK6rhm6t4SbbYVoQ4rFUXd9LTWxkfdIkUcmzVPRnrddYE9ToXmHWPQlmAS2vhmxNh9d4nIz4veKi5-jITA5DJPJ5hYabnDv9e4AdZprwMglftCYHIA19m-c3U5TBXJ5uk/s450/Goblin-1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="373" data-original-width="450" height="332" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkDUgHEN_dO78Nw2hBXXO66IvRYtQJyBwLk9vKHjFF2i_XtyqbUaufyFlf_mcK6rhm6t4SbbYVoQ4rFUXd9LTWxkfdIkUcmzVPRnrddYE9ToXmHWPQlmAS2vhmxNh9d4nIz4veKi5-jITA5DJPJ5hYabnDv9e4AdZprwMglftCYHIA19m-c3U5TBXJ5uk/w400-h332/Goblin-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A typical auntie, silently judging you.<br />The loud judging comes later.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>Not every goblin is lucky enough to have a mom. But whether they like it or not, they've all got an Auntie. Part parent, supervisor, and tribal elder, Aunties know it's pointless to try and enforce a semblance of orderliness upon their niblings. Instead, they help guide and redirect them, like one might the flow of a mighty river. A green, gibbering river full of teeth and shiny rocks and- hey, was that a goat?<br /><div><br /></div><div>Note that you don't need to be an actual goblin or auntie in order to be a Goblin Auntie. It's all about having the right state of mind.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Goblin Auntie</h4><div>Starting Equipment: stained apron, sewing kit, dagger, bag of acorns</div><div>Starting Skills: Childrearing. Also, roll on adjacent table.</div><div><br /></div><div>A: Adopt Niblings, Auntie Knows Best</div><div>B: Just The Thing, Slap Some Sense Into</div><div>C: Family That Stays Together</div><div>D: An Auntie's Love</div><div><br /></div><div>You gain +1 to Save vs mind-altering effects for each Goblin Auntie template you possess.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">A: Adopt Niblings</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Being a Goblin Auntie means you know true family is found. Found, nicknamed, badgered, and possibly wiped 'clean' with a spitty handkerchief when you want to make sure they're extra handsome. You may designate a number of nearby friendly creatures equal to 1/2 your Wisdom score (rounded down) as your adoptive niblings. Several of your class abilities affect your current niblings.</p><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">A: Auntie Knows Best</h4><p style="text-align: left;">When one of your niblings rolls under a stat or tries to use a skill you may offer unsolicited advice and admonishments to help them out, even (and especially) if you have no experience with what they're doing. Roll to Save; if you succeed the nibling gains +1 to their roll, but if you fail they suffer -1. You can do this once per round.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">B: Just The Thing</h4><p>Extra snacks, bits of thread, herbs for that one asthmatic kid; your career has prepared you to always have just the thing you need for a random situation. You've gotten so good at it in fact, that the depths of your backpack have become a zone of Schrödingerian potentiality.</p><p>You can designate 1 Inventory Slot (other than a Quick-Draw Slot) as a Just The Thing slot that is always filled. You can spend 2 rounds rummaging around in that slot to produce any item that is worth 1 gp or less, even if you never put one in your inventory to begin with. You may do this once per day, after which your compulsive saving and pocketing naturally refill the slot.</p><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">B: Slap Some Sense Into</h4><p style="text-align: left;">When 1 or more of your niblings are affected by fear or another mind-altering effect, you can attempt to slap some sense into one of them to set them all straight. You deal 1 damage to the target nibling, and they and every other nibling within 30' are allowed to reroll their Save against that chosen effect. You may do this once per day per point of Strength bonus (minimum 1) before your slapping hand gets tired.</p><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">C: Family That Slays Together</h4><p style="text-align: left;">Even if they never asked for an Auntie, your protective clannishness has begun to rub off on your adoptees. When 2 or more of your niblings are next to each other in combat, they unwittingly start to fight together as a swarming, gobliny unit. Each gains their choice of +1 to Initiative, Defense, or Attack. This effect ends if they split up.</p><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">D: An Auntie's Love</h4><p style="text-align: left;">You always knew what you were signing up for. What this job is really about. If ever one of your niblings is in imminent mortal danger—about to take lethal damage in combat, suffer a fall, trip a trap, etc.—you may intercede on their behalf through some dramatic contrivance and suffer all harm in their stead. You may do this once per day, assuming you survive.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><table cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" style="width: 522px;">
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1d6</p>
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Goblin Auntie Skills</p>
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1 </p>
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They have a habit of getting sick, don't they? Gain the "Medicine" skill and 3 doses of your homemade decongestant (extra chunky).</p>
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2 </p>
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You are a 1st generation gentle Auntie. In your case, "gentle" means you reserve the rod for your enemies. Gain a proper nasty switch (light weapon).</p>
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<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="27"><p style="text-align: center;">
3 </p>
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Insomnia is part of the job, but you've elevated it to an artform. Gain the "Stay Awake" skill and a trashy, dogeared novel.</p>
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<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="27"><p style="text-align: center;">
4 </p>
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<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="477"><p>A well-fed nibling is a less troublesome nibling. Gain the "Baking" skill and 2d6 muffins (about to go stale).</p>
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<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="27"><p style="text-align: center;">
5 </p>
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<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="477"><p>Why, it looks like you've already attracted a few hangers-on without even trying! Gain 2 random camp followers, each with an embarrassing nickname.</p>
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<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="27"><p style="text-align: center;">
6 </p>
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<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="477"><p>These fricking kids. Gain a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of spirits.</p>
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</tbody></table><br /><p></p></div>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-76320165872051414602023-11-27T17:11:00.001-05:002023-11-27T17:13:30.094-05:00TROIKA! Background: Homo Algus<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNfaAPsE_j0Fe1xSJpgj1mZHtPcleqbS13qNZe2eo9ViIVEWfQm5zWM9SL9wAUA43-90VAzCwkhFIz7vtIFXITAiW5I2rpeamczwA9G1AQqO2tF1JbXESpIW3SdeRzyaWO3HluN0fYZCVuawOOfbJyQ8mR7pJLNKKoCYNjQ6xIbAIRoPWasT7MznnBvDY/s1238/2-91.jpg"><img border="0" data-original-height="1238" data-original-width="990" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNfaAPsE_j0Fe1xSJpgj1mZHtPcleqbS13qNZe2eo9ViIVEWfQm5zWM9SL9wAUA43-90VAzCwkhFIz7vtIFXITAiW5I2rpeamczwA9G1AQqO2tF1JbXESpIW3SdeRzyaWO3HluN0fYZCVuawOOfbJyQ8mR7pJLNKKoCYNjQ6xIbAIRoPWasT7MznnBvDY/w320-h400/2-91.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><p style="text-align: left;">They are frightened of you, the little dry ones. They fear your long face and your long limbs. They mistake your little lights for cruel will-o-wisps. They mistake your attempts to deliver food and medicine for attacks, and drive you off with torches and peat knives. You would have spurned the dry ones long ago, were it not for the fact that you seem to know them. You remember them from a time long, long ago, before you were born from the mud, and they were even littler.</p><p style="text-align: left;">If they would just stop running away, perhaps you could ask them what they mean when they call you a "bog body".</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Possessions</h4><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>Lots of Algae</i></li><li><i>Even More Algae.</i></li><li><i>Excessive Amounts of Algae!</i></li><li><i>Favorite Pebble</i> (perfectly round)</li></ul><div><br /></div></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Advanced Skills</h4><div>3 Swim</div><div>2 Herblore</div><div>2 Sneak (4 in Wetlands)</div><div>1 Acrobatics</div><div>1 Climb</div><div>1 Spell - Light</div><div>1 Strength</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Special</h4><p style="text-align: left;">You may enter a state of suspended animation known as the "Swamp Hunch". During a Hunch you sit perfectly, deathly still for up to a week at a time. During that time you do not need to eat provisions, and others must Test their Luck to recognize you as anything other than a very misplaced sculpture. It takes 1 hour to enter or leave a Hunch, as your joints pop and your metabolism adjusts.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqFC9iCBTxNMOLQMfmis5TunlmKDbmMmD5nTDkfT8GDbNKDIUBLMLbMOuwZfpm5iNOsioV_y1D3wU4fjwSsONUb7IpqFZ4hdkgrQtpnV3L5OPNCoUURc8R_gw_9JcmGZWUFu7FlTXk22SoPEHkYF0GD5CZLBAcU78FUoUKMMUmW70OWwQZTY6yDFu04FY/s990/1-93.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="715" data-original-width="990" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqFC9iCBTxNMOLQMfmis5TunlmKDbmMmD5nTDkfT8GDbNKDIUBLMLbMOuwZfpm5iNOsioV_y1D3wU4fjwSsONUb7IpqFZ4hdkgrQtpnV3L5OPNCoUURc8R_gw_9JcmGZWUFu7FlTXk22SoPEHkYF0GD5CZLBAcU78FUoUKMMUmW70OWwQZTY6yDFu04FY/w400-h289/1-93.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0000ee; text-align: left; text-decoration-line: underline;"><a href="https://www.regisophie.com/homo-algus/">More photos of the original exhibit by Sophie Prestigiacomo.</a><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table></div>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-89694022676328684702023-11-15T18:31:00.002-05:002023-11-15T18:31:42.095-05:00TROIKA! Background: Moondog<h3 style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moondog" style="text-align: center;">Moondog, the Viking of 6th Street</a></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQxjrJGkDs1QUWESmnHdYxw8f4memZHiWdNnq0dQWmwCuq1a_-KIsjIxsmERvM3fghPv_KumCGuC5VVwEZJXst7BkFpJZ77MvosAZ_s44u84hB1UTDV6QHexjsy1zBZkk2O-UVOvxA0k1Qpt6vDv6XPxvINU4_NrA7aPzHwdpHMYhLfwdUn-xDHv3iedg/s1919/tumblr_mk2cnwmN8E1s3gpmko1_128.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1919" data-original-width="1280" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQxjrJGkDs1QUWESmnHdYxw8f4memZHiWdNnq0dQWmwCuq1a_-KIsjIxsmERvM3fghPv_KumCGuC5VVwEZJXst7BkFpJZ77MvosAZ_s44u84hB1UTDV6QHexjsy1zBZkk2O-UVOvxA0k1Qpt6vDv6XPxvINU4_NrA7aPzHwdpHMYhLfwdUn-xDHv3iedg/w266-h400/tumblr_mk2cnwmN8E1s3gpmko1_128.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><p>Whether you're rubbing shoulders with Yardbird and the King of Swing, praying at your altar to Thor at home, or accidentally scaring the hell out of New York City couriers in darkened entryways, you do everything with a groove and a sense of vision that not even a dynamite cap to the face can cramp.</p><p>Go forth under the howl-honored moon, and remember the beat that Chief Yellow Calf taught you.</p><h4>Possessions</h4><div><ul><li><i>Spear</i>, mostly for show.</li><li><i>Horned helmet</i>, jauntily tilted.</li><li><i>A Trimba, Oo, </i>or other idiosyncratic homemade instrument.</li><li><i>Beard</i> like a homeless wizard (which you are).</li></ul><div><br /></div></div><h4>Advanced Skills</h4><div>4 Acute Hearing</div><div>3 Classical Avant-Garde Jazz</div><div>3 Music Theory</div><div>2 Couplet Poetry</div><div>1 Religion (Old Norse)</div><div><br /></div><h4>Special</h4><p>Once per day during combat or another situation that uses the Initiative Stack, you may activate <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK0yv9ME-h8">Snaketime</a>. This strange, slithery rhythm dislocates you from time and space, allowing you to briefly move through it as you please. You may remove as many tokens from the Initiative Stack or add as many previously drawn tokens back into it as you like, with the exceptions that you can't remove the End of the Round token or add the tokens of dead characters back in. This special ability lasts for 1 round, then time and Initiative return to normal.</p><p>Additionally, if you are ever reduced to 0 Stamina and the End of Round token is drawn (meaning you die), you may activate Snaketime regardless of whether or not you've already used it that day. Afterward, death rules apply normally.</p><p>Humanity might die in 4/4 time, but you won't.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-41190695541594261362023-11-05T17:47:00.002-05:002023-11-05T18:15:11.405-05:00The One Where Furt Tries to Overcome His Crippling Fear of Reading With the Help of a C-Tier Dragonlance Novel and Then Just Ends up Summarizing the Whole Thing<p>Longtime readers might know that I'm a bundle of anxieties masquerading as a sapient being. Somewhat counterproductively, these anxieties dominate a major facet of my chosen hobby and (if I'm being <i>extremely</i> generous to myself) career path:</p><p>I get so upset and agitated sitting and reading long-form text that I would almost call it a phobia.</p><p>The feelings that gradually run through me when I try to read something longer than a Wikipedia article in one sitting are a pretty weird mix of issues, most of them probably unrelated in origin, but I can't say that confidently.</p><p>The oldest feeling I've always had, ever since I was little, is an excruciating <i>awareness</i> that I am reading something. Within a few minutes of sitting down and trying to focus, I begin to grow restless. My arms get tired from holding up their own weight (and the added weight of the book), or my neck aches from looking down at my desk or lap. My eyes jump and reread the same lines over and over, but even so, my reading comprehension plummets and I find myself forgetting what I read just a few pages or paragraphs ago. This, coupled with the fact that I read as fast or slightly slower than my speaking voice, means I slow to a crawl.</p><p>Next I begin to hear the creaking of my joints, and feel the churning of my organs. My breathing is never automatic while I'm awake; I don't know if it's some kind of daytime apnea or what. But here it's soon joined by the sensation that I need to remind myself to blink or swallow, or an awareness of the feeling of my tongue in my mouth and the smell of the inside of my own nose.</p><p>Next, as the minutes tick past, comes the guilt. Despite my lack of social media presence I am one of those "terminally online" people. I have far more important personal connections over the internet than face-to-face, and I want to be clear that that part is okay. That's a reality that a lot of people live with this weird, disconnected society that we have in this technologically fortunate corner of the globe that me and statistically most of my audience occupy.</p><p>But where it turns into a problem is the way I respond to that reality. By divorcing myself from a screen for so long, or even just looking at a different screen in the case of using an e-reader, I feel as though I'm selfishly disconnecting and shutting myself off from other people who might want or need me- and considering how agitated I get trying to read, I begin to ask myself "for what possible benefit?"</p><p>Finally, way back somewhere in my reptile brain, there's always that tickle of existential pain.</p><p>Language is two or more unique meat-computers cobbling together a facsimile of mutual understanding through the use of noises that carry with them multiple layers of abstracted meaning. The speaker's brain thinks a thing, then tries to break those thoughts down into constituent parts, then tries to match those parts to words that they then speak to the listener's brain. The listener's brain then receives those words and—shared vocabulary willing—tries to reconstruct the first brain's meaning using its own separate set of building-block connotations between those same noises and the meaning attached to each, which are created through that second brain's fundamentally different lived experience from the first.</p><p>If two people are talking about a tree, then there are actually three entirely different trees present: the tree in the speaker's imagination, the tree as it is capable of being rendered in human speech, and the tree in the listener's imagination. And that's the way it <i>has</i> to be. Barring the invention of technology that allows people to accurately and directly beam their thoughts to one another, no one will ever know exactly what another person means. The same goes for art, music, and every other form of expression that tries to communicate the concept of a tree, or infinitely more complex ideas like emotions.</p><p>Most people who learn about this concept will make peace with the fact that it's weird, but it is what it is. Or maybe they'll exult in the miracle of language and the amazing humanoid achievements suggested by the fact that we are able to cooperate and communicate <i>at all</i> like this. I was first introduced to the idea by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N6y6LEwsKc">Innuendo Studio's examination of Davey Wreden's <i>The Beginner's Guide</i></a>, which takes it in stride while diving into semiotics, death of the author, and other stuff like that.</p><p>I do not take it in stride. I find the idea painful to deal with. I hate knowing that my interpretation of a story is 'wrong'. It reminds me of how flimsy and subjective our ideas of meaning are, and from there I typically spiral into obsessing over how by extension <i>we</i> are as unreal and invalid as the contents of a book. Then I usually settle into desperately willing the universe to conjure up a bubble of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_vacuum_decay">false vacuum decay</a> and please just end it all already.</p><p>Keep in mind, this is all happening while I'm trying to read through a breakfast scene in a fricking Redwall book.</p><p>So yeah. I have some hang-ups about reading books, and my resulting avoidance of the medium has shaped my life enormously, in ways that I know and probably don't know. As a kid I always felt like I was nerding "wrong" by not being the bookworm or comic book geek. As I've grown older I've started to lament the hypothetical worthwhile experiences I could have had but never did. I'd say the last time I read an entire book purely for my own enjoyment separate from schoolwork was sometime during senior year in high school.</p><p>Visual media like shows and video games played a far bigger role in my development, and online gaming had a direct hand in making the creature that I am today. I opt for adaptations of books because even when they flop or grossly conflict with how most people interpret the text, they at least give me someone else's interpretation of the world to replace my own with, and that feels somehow more legitimate and permissible than my own. More official.</p><p>This doesn't sit well with me. I know I'm missing out, and it diminishes my enjoyment of other media by proxy. But usually I just avoid the issue entirely. Very rarely, I'll make a half-measure like listening to audiobooks. Sometimes I'll even finish them, but more often than not the extra voices become too distracting for someone who basically lives inside of a Skype call.</p><p>Every few years I do take a crack at "real" reading, but it usually only lasts a few pages before I fall off again. I never found a way to incentivize myself to finish a book.</p><p>Until now.</p><p>Because now, I've had an idea. If I can make myself accountable to an external party, such as you fine Burrowers (and the bots that inflate my site traffic), then I am that much more likely to follow through with the task. Because otherwise, I don't even have a finished story to relay here, and the post will remain an unfinished draft mocking me from my dashboard each and every day.</p><p>I realize that trying to outweigh the pressure of reading by using the pressure of <i>not</i> reading and therefore squandering a blog post I've already started writing is maybe not the healthiest technique. But it's the best plan I've had in a while, so I'm going to give it a shot.</p><p>Of course the plan isn't perfect. I can't just start reading <i>anything</i> under artificial duress. I still need it to be something that I have an interest in. Preferably, it's something that I also already have some familiarity with, so that I have an experiential base for my imagination to draw upon. Finally, it should be something bland, low-stakes, and utterly inconsequential to the real world and humanity's place within it.</p><p>I know just the thing!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhOPGXLOFL4b5huFqvIRTdgKG5sekWOVtPxHe1dLTecpRls3WjIqKcZXJXM0xHNloimoHDOUQQidhO6tXdVvoLhoy5YA3xvKfW3En9ZZbHW4B6nv5f26-FEX841ut_MlfSYIwWakTR1l3OeYQ7cDSl3S7BFkaPLBLgMJZMBlZKk2lsfHsorXu2amvJLlg/s2085/daefb60-1e9918aa-4ce3-44f1-a87d-0d33a2eeb4c0.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="2085" height="90" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhOPGXLOFL4b5huFqvIRTdgKG5sekWOVtPxHe1dLTecpRls3WjIqKcZXJXM0xHNloimoHDOUQQidhO6tXdVvoLhoy5YA3xvKfW3En9ZZbHW4B6nv5f26-FEX841ut_MlfSYIwWakTR1l3OeYQ7cDSl3S7BFkaPLBLgMJZMBlZKk2lsfHsorXu2amvJLlg/w400-h90/daefb60-1e9918aa-4ce3-44f1-a87d-0d33a2eeb4c0.png" width="400" /></a></div><p>I tease, I tease.</p><p>While I've gone on record as saying that Dragonlance is kind of past its prime as an IP (and especially as a moneymaker for its owners), I don't actually dislike it all that much. Like many kids, the original Dragonlance trilogy was one of my first experiences reading through a huge, high fantasy setting- I didn't get around to the LotR books until after high school, and when I did they were in the form of the admittedly wonderful audiobooks by Phil Dragash.</p><p>The series' central themes of faith and the balance between good and evil feel increasingly stupid to me the older I get, but the world of Krynn still holds a quaint charm for me, the way you might like certain parts of a mostly cringey '80s cartoon. The huge history always meant that there was something of passing interest to me somewhere, somewhen. It was also the closest thing to a culturally diverse fantasy series that I experienced for a <i>long</i> time, what with its prominent protagonists of vaguely Native American and Black inspiration- although you wouldn't know that from looking at the cover art that makes most of them white.</p><p>I really should read Earthsea someday.</p><p>Also for some reason I still think it's so cool that Krynn's major continent is in its southern hemisphere, with all the changes to geography and climate that entails? I'm sure fiction writers have been using that trope for a hundred years or more, but these books were what opened my tiny whelpling mind to the fact that you could do something like that and I just think that's neat.</p><p>Anyway, yes. I have chosen to read a Dragonlance novel for this little project of mine.</p><p>Next, I have to choose which one. Which you might think would be the bigger challenge, given that there are over <i>200 books</i> in the series, spread across dozens of trilogies, anthologies, sagas, etc., all written by different authors with different abilities and areas of focus. And it's not like my past reading narrows the list down much- I read the original trilogy, the finale/reboot <i>Dragons of Summer Flame</i>, and one book in the Ergoth series. I've never even read the <i>Twins</i> series that is, as I've learned during research for this post, one half of the "Holy Six" that everyone recommends starting their Dragonlance journey with.</p><p>But this is one area where my brand of one-trick-ponyism comes in mighty handy.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYZkafd3ZbQpSIBAgpociq_-kbqGM6-ToskthY5VAjwZxqa50H7h_DYGefb_LypJTXO4MIeNGWYtQGalkr7-kze9wDWpb0akvLdn7NVw7J0rM6QDdKfNFfrfjhUaCKzaFf-Nb4FFjKgF6Hft8Ado9xHEcXaG-q7_nAI6Vd5wCQ9O_cKGYxRQZoPdl-L90/s1500/81kiTLS3emL._SL1500_.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="914" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYZkafd3ZbQpSIBAgpociq_-kbqGM6-ToskthY5VAjwZxqa50H7h_DYGefb_LypJTXO4MIeNGWYtQGalkr7-kze9wDWpb0akvLdn7NVw7J0rM6QDdKfNFfrfjhUaCKzaFf-Nb4FFjKgF6Hft8Ado9xHEcXaG-q7_nAI6Vd5wCQ9O_cKGYxRQZoPdl-L90/w244-h400/81kiTLS3emL._SL1500_.jpg" width="244" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">I'm not even sure which of the 200+ Dragonlance novels this entry is, because every publication list I looked at online gave different numbers depending on which modules or anthologies they included or excluded from the lineup. The Rebellion could be the 140th in the series, or the 152nd, or the 182nd. Suffice it to say it's pretty high up there.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>The Stonetellers</i> series is a trilogy set during the latest era of the Dragonlance timeline, the Age of Mortals that started in the wake of the gods' war against their dad (or maybe uncle?) Chaos. Chaos was trapped inside a rock for eons and then decided to erase the gods and their entire world as payback. Obviously he failed, but the whole ordeal combined with the goddess Takhisis' unceasing machinations led to a pretty serious shakeup of the <i>status quo</i>. I talked more about the magical consequences of this in my recent <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2023/09/3e-oddite-ambient-tempest-bestiary-of.html">3E OdditE post about Ambient Tempests</a>.</p><p style="text-align: left;">In hindsight this move was pretty clearly meant by TSR to set Dragonlance up for a new series of books with new protagonists and new challenges (as well as to market the new <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonlance:_Fifth_Age">spin-off RPG</a> using the SAGA system) that ended up not performing so well. The huge changes to the setting split the fanbase, and after a few years the entire story arc was revealed to have been a deception by Takhisis, with the world returning to something closer to what it was beforehand. I see it as a hasty rewrite from corporate to try and course-correct, but I have no evidence for that.</p><p style="text-align: left;">In the aftermath of all that mess, a plethora of Age of Mortals books has released that explore the less well-known parts of the world, far and away from the entrenched protagonist families that became central in the <i>Summer Flame</i> era. You can probably make a comparison here to how liberating or refreshing it is to read a Star Wars Expanded Universe novel that <i>isn't</i> about a Skywalker or a Solo, but of course I've never read any of those either.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The first installment in the Stonetellers series is, as the image above suggests, <i>The Rebellion</i>. In it, a group of goblin slaves find an opportunity to cast off their chains and seize some measure of justice and self-determination after their people have been unrelentingly shat upon for the better part of thousands of years. That is the extent of my knowledge of the book so far, but it's enough to entice me.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Goblins occupy an interesting position in Dragonlance, if you'll allow me to use 'interesting' as a synonym for 'pathetic' for a moment. They typically exist as another species of mooks to be bossed around by bigger and meaner villains, and hobgoblins essentially replace orcs, who are not native to the planet Krynn. But draconians do much of the same- and corrupted dragon people raised from eggs to be Spartanesque soldiers and perfect minions of evil are a touch more compelling and visually exciting than "D&D goblins, again". So goblins have almost always been <i>backup</i> minion fodder on Krynn when the Dragonlords and evil clerics don't have better folks under their employ- a pretty ignominious position to be in.</p><p style="text-align: left;">There are exceptions here and there, like the peaceful and "civilized" Ergothian goblin province of Sikk'et Hul, or the weirdly Blackadder-esque story dedicated to the grotesque but comically lucky little hobgoblin despot, Lord Toede. But those instances are rare and often unserious, so I was surprised to find that someone wrote an entire and sincere trilogy about them. Or at least I'm assuming it's serious- I haven't started reading yet.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Jean Rabe, the author, has a somewhat soured reputation among at least one vocal part of the Dragonlance fanbase. Her <i>Dragons of the New Age</i> trilogy was the one that carried the Age of Mortals forward with all its radical alterations, and some of the onus of things being too different and bad is placed upon her writing, or even her personally. In her defense I will say that the changes technically began with <i>Summer Flame</i>, even if it was originally intended by Weis and Hickman to be the Dragonlance finale. Other than that I don't know a thing about her, but she's the first Dragonlance author I've seen write about goblins this way, so I'm going to give her the benefit of a doubt.</p><p style="text-align: left;">It occurs to me that I've been infodumping a lot here to put off actually reading. That stops now.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I am going to make use of my first-ever jump break to mark my first-ever intrapostal time skip for whatever this nightmare is turning into, because I know it will be longwinded. What follows will be my "live" commentary as I work through the book in chunks.</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><h4 style="text-align: left;">Chapters 1-13</h4><p style="text-align: left;">The story is set primarily in and around an iron mine in Taman Busuk. This region is also known as Neraka for its capital city, which is also essentially the capital city of all evil throughout the history of Krynn. It's a harsh and mountainous region in east-central Ansalon where the two halves of the continent, as well as a dozen different 'evil' species, meet and come together.</p><p style="text-align: left;">We are introduced to the plot by vignettes focusing on several characters, normally retreading the few hours leading up to the same fateful event- a massive earthquake. We meet about a half-dozen goblins, one hobgoblin, and one half-elf. More on them later, because I want to talk about the goblins as a group first.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The story starts by characterizing the goblins just a smidge through their names and language. They all seem to have Adjective-Noun style names like Moon-eye, Graytoes, Mudwort, Direfang, etc. Very few goblins have names unlike this, but when they do they are short and simple like Saro-Saro or Thema. The descriptive names are often indicative of some trait or characteristic about the goblin in question, such as Moon-eye's congenitally deformed, milky white right eye. All of them are of course conveniently translated for the reader.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I think it's presumed they are speaking the Goblin language the vast majority of the time, but at the same time the author does that fantasy language thing where there are occasional interjections of untranslated phrases like <i>dard</i> ("fool") and <i>feyrh!</i> ("flee!") into an otherwise plain English sentence in order to add texture and remind the reader that they're speaking something other than Common. It's a contrivance, but an old one that I'm perfectly used to by now.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The goblins come from diverse backgrounds, with many Nerakan clans and tribes represented in the makeup of the supporting cast. Skin color seems to be broadly similar among members of the same tribe, but it's not universal, and in the mining camp there's a wide range of oranges, yellows, reds, browns, and a few greys seen. This is in contrast to the 3rd and 4th Edition eras of goblin art that tended to depict them as different shades of green, but is very at home with the palette of burnt hues later adopted for 5E.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The goblins are also all slaves, laboring in the mine under the orders of the Dark Knights of Neraka who operate the mine and its adjacent processing settlement, Steel Town. The Dark Knights worshiped Takhisis before she died for real a few years earlier, but old habits die even harder, and they're still a bunch of jackbooted authoritarian thugs looking to bring the world to heel in the name of their warped conceptions of honor and order.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Slavery, fictional or otherwise, is a topic that should always be addressed with understanding and tact. The book isn't <i>egregiously</i> bad about this in my opinion, but it's not great. None of the goblins are happy with their lot, and any acts of kindness toward them by the Dark Knights (such as clerical healing) are explicitly framed as pragmatic and economical decisions made while dealing with what they see as nothing more than tools. The goblins rightly hate the knights in turn, and remember the time before they were enslaved- they literally call it the Before Time. But most don't escape or rebel because of a combination of deadly magical wards, occasional enchantment spells to keep the ones with the lowest Will Saving Throws docile, and plain old being ground down by years of servitude. Disobedient goblins get lashed, all of them are starved and dehydrated, most are naked, hundreds of words are devoted to the reek of their blood, sweat, fear, and untreated waste, etc.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But it's all treated in such a way that feels... perfunctory and tropey to me? Maybe it was all intended to come across as rote so that it fits into the systematic, industrialized evil of the whole mining operation. But a lot of it feels like window dressing to me. The same way a sword & sandals story might have a slave galley story arc just because it gives a clear challenge and good motivation for the protagonists.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I hope my feelings on this will improve over time.</p><p style="text-align: left;">A note on nudity, though. Only foremen and other elevated goblins are given clothes, mostly discarded rags and hand-me-downs from the civilian populace of Steel Town. It's never explicit in detail or sexualized in any way, and it only gets highlighted when a character <i>does</i> have clothing for contrast. But it adds to the standardized degradation the goblins live with. Only Direfang among the main cast has clothing- a pair of badly shredded pants. A background goblin male appears briefly wearing a woman's old blouse, its lace flapping in the wind. No one remarks on it, so I don't think it was intended as comedic. I hope not.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Making me give the issue of slavery even more side-eye is the way the goblins are presented.</p><p>There's a childlike quality ascribed to the goblins in the blunt, halting way they speak and interact with one another. They seem to only have a rudimentary grasp of their own language, which involves lots of dropped articles, repeating a word three times or gesticulating wildly for emphasis, randomly reversed word order, and the use of simple euphemisms for more complicated concepts they don't seem equipped to articulate- Mudwort's shamanic premonitions about impending disaster get her pegged as mentally ill by many of her fellows, but they call it having a "sour" or "stinky" mind.</p><p>This mode of speech helps characterize the goblins as simple and unwordly, but not energetic or precocious like the similarly childlike kender (thankfully). More like grubby, lost orphans. The only 'adult' in the group is Direfang, the one-eared hobgoblin foreman who sometimes speaks in complete sentences and reminds Mugwort to eat now and then. But he's also very irritable and coarse toward his smaller peers, and the narrative likes to dwell on how often he drools for some reason. He's a leader—it's literally in his job description—but he acts more like an older brother begrudgingly looking out for his younger siblings because he doesn't want to get in trouble with mom and dad- mom and dad being a dead goddess' crusader-regime that cut off his ear for trying to escape once before, in this case.</p><p>This sticks out to me because presenting a group of people as simple, primitive, and childlike was one of the standard methods of dehumanization used to justify their enslavement and/or paternalistic domination in real life for hundreds of years. It's not a good look.</p><p style="text-align: left;">We also get a peek inside the head of the main antagonist early and often.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Grallik N'sera is a half-elf Knight of the Thorn, the arcane spellcasting branch of the Dark Knights. He fricking hates his life in a way that's almost relatable, if you forget how he's a ranking officer in the whole evil empire thing. The dry, dusty weather gives him a chronic cough, his post is like a dead-end job with extremely monotonous work, he has no social life to speak of, and his body is badly scarred from when his family died in a fire as a child. I guessed and was almost immediately proven correct that he was the one who accidentally burned their house down when his magic awakened but he lacked control of it.</p><p style="text-align: left;">When the earthquake finally hits, his dormitory is destroyed and he loses absolutely everything of magical value he owned- the proverbial wizard whom the DM decides to take the spellbook away from. Even when his commanding officer gets badly injured and he gets promoted like he so deeply craved, he's left salvaging the mess that the quake caused. Of course he doesn't hate it all enough to actually do something about it. Besides griping and snarking, he seems content to remain a cog in an exploitative machine He's such a sour and unhappy dick that I quickly took to calling him Garlic.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I personally like the work Garlic does, even if he hates it. He uses his fire magic to melt the iron right out of the ore mined from the mountains to make steel production easier and faster. I love mundane applications of magic like this. While that can cheapen magic in certain genres of fantasy, I think it makes a lived-in and thoroughly magic-saturated kind of fantasy world feel more believable, because people will always find imaginative ways to harness their environment and make work simpler.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Through Garlic we see more of Steel Town beyond the mines and the slave pens. It's a boomtown still on the ascent, but with none of the amenities or local color that make that trope appealing in Wild West settings. The dust from the mine coats everything in a dreary grey-brown haze here, water is heavily rationed since the well dried up, and it generally smells awful. The food's surprisingly good, though- Garlic sits down for a meal in the tavern at one point and gets a mutton and fruit pie with a side of spinach pudding and some dessert. That sweet-and-savory flavor profile is extremely indicative of upper-class post-antiquity Europe, which explains the medieval chef Jean Rabe credits at the front of the book.</p><p style="text-align: left;">We also learn that Steel Town was built in the shadow of three active volcanoes.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I'd say we also learn here that the Dark Knights are gods-damned stupid, but anyone who's read a few Dragonlance novels should already know that. They just managed to be less stupid than their enemies much of the time.</p><p style="text-align: left;">These aren't the 'occasionally smoking at the top' kind of active volcanoes, either. These are 'watch the ribbons of lava flowing down the sides of the mountain at night while ooh'ing and ahh'ing at the pretty colors' active. I realize the area is extremely rich in minerals, but couldn't they have pulled the town a few kilomiles back from the direct path of a pyroclastic flow?</p><p style="text-align: left;">You don't need Mudwort's omens about the earth being nervous to know where this is all heading, is what I'm saying.</p><p style="text-align: left;">When the earthquake does finally hit all points of view, it's pretty bad. Much of Steel Town and the mines collapse, swallowing up hundreds of goblins and not nearly as many Dark Knights in the process. We get vivid depictions of people clinging to the edges of crevasses before getting snapped up as if by the jaws of a dragon, and repeat imagery of broken goblin limbs sticking out of the roiling earth as the tunnels cave in.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The earthquake also wake up the hatori.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Not to be confused with the Japanese surname Hatori (which led me to happen upon some distractingly pretty anime guys while I was doing research), the <i>Dragonlance</i> hatori is basically a gigantic crocodile-dragon, highly territorial and native to the deserts it enjoys burrowing through. They can grow to be almost 60 feet long, and they can bite a human in half.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4yZBoKMhKzDsByp7rUskBf0tRChkBATPWhgs1zLtFOHl2IIJzZIEjn4jGkUvJKmt2zeZpRyZYCTkNXLZL3nUk2UV9Mzkc1gRdsD9qLmNhyphenhyphenHiabU5MWEJMVzacNOEWiim37Lwfw5_qLNQPx7pVr4UKBpl8rju07euaP9sP1GEAobX9zsbfGoP7A9chYK0/s360/Hatori.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4yZBoKMhKzDsByp7rUskBf0tRChkBATPWhgs1zLtFOHl2IIJzZIEjn4jGkUvJKmt2zeZpRyZYCTkNXLZL3nUk2UV9Mzkc1gRdsD9qLmNhyphenhyphenHiabU5MWEJMVzacNOEWiim37Lwfw5_qLNQPx7pVr4UKBpl8rju07euaP9sP1GEAobX9zsbfGoP7A9chYK0/s16000/Hatori.webp" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">Naturally the Dark Knights saw fit to buy one off the ogre slavers they normally get their goblins from, drug it 24/7 so that it's blitzed out of its mind and compliant enough to work for snacks, then set it to work digging in the mine. When it wakes up and the earthquake has ruined its buzz, the results are predictable.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Like I said, the Dark Knights are not smart.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Once the quake is over, a prolonged quiet settles over the ruins as the Dark Knights try to enact damage control and the goblins either gather their dead or begin to realize that they overwhelmingly outnumber the disorganized knights. What's more, some of them discover that the explosive runes surrounding each slave pen to deter escapees were broken by the tremors.</p><p style="text-align: left;">There are other aspects of goblin characterization in this book that I really quite like. Direfang drags Mudwort back into the mines after the quake with an almost single-minded determination to find every last goblin, alive or dead. Those they find alive, like the pregnant Graytoes and her mate Moon-eye refusing to leave her side, they get to safety. Those whom they find dead, Direfang mutilates. Goblin beliefs posit that the spirit becomes trapped in the body after death and requires a way to exit, leading to a scene in which Direfang frantically yet reverently rips the arms and legs off of cadavers left and right, breaking the bodies so that the souls within can be freed.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Goblin remains must be thoroughly destroyed so the spirit doesn't try to return afterward and mess up the cycle of reincarnation, however. Some exposition on the different goblin clans reveals a diversity of traditions; sky burial, mulching for compost, bone artwork, partial cannibalism in one instance. But all clans recognize cremation as a valid funerary rite. </p><p style="text-align: left;">Ironically, the Dark Knights burn goblin corpses <i>en masse</i> because it's easier than burial, and because they don't respect them enough to care about burying them in a fashion that they consider proper. Task failed successfully, I guess. Meanwhile the goblins silently mock or pity the knights for interring their dead, which they believe traps them inside their vessels for eternity. It must be a cruel and spiteful demand from their gods, Direfang muses at one point.</p><p style="text-align: left;">What follows is the first full-throated endorsement of atheism (or more accurately, a mix of antitheism and outright misotheism) I have ever seen made by a society in Dragonlance. The gods never did anything for goblins, even when the worshiped them. They never protected the goblins and their kin when other faithful followers of the gods killed, exploited, or bullied them. The goblins see the gods' activity on Krynn as plain meddling, and would consider it hellish to spend an eternal afterlife in one of their realms. Just as the gods have ignored the goblins, the goblins now ignore the gods.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Praxis.</p><p>A haphazard plan to escape finally develops among the goblins led by Direfang, who is informed by Mudwort that another earthquake is imminent. Word spreads to the various slave pens, but they try to hold off for as long as they can to ensure that as many wounded goblins as possible get healing first. The night drags on long and quiet, with nothing but the crackle of the goblin corpse pyre and the quaver of Moon-eye's singing voice.</p><p>Throughout the book Moon-eye sings to Graytoes. It's always the same old song with the same old lyrics that he's always sung, to the point that many goblins including Mudwort just block it out. I was going to too at first because one of the few adaptations I did pick up from reading fantasy at an early age was to gloss over all the cringey musical or poetic bits unless it's telegraphed that they're going to be plot-relevant. This one gets repeated enough through the book that I'm going to take a guess and say it is. There are a few verses, but this is the most commonly repeated one:</p><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Low sun in the warm valleys</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>All goblins watch the orange sky</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Looking for shadows of ogres</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Knowing the time’s come to die</i></div></div><p>The Knights of the Skull, the clerical wing of the Dark Knights, finally minister to the goblins after everyone else in Steel Town has been stabilized. By this point it's been more than a day after the first quake. Cuts, scrapes, breaks, and infections are treated one by one through the slats in the pens, because the knights refuse to go inside, and gag at the smell of the pens even from an arm's distance.</p><p>Until they get to Graytoes.</p><p>The Skull Knight mending her leg is able to determine that the fetus inside her is positioned wrong, perhaps a breach birth waiting to happen. It might resolve itself with time, or it might kill them both, but his magic cannot do anything to fix it. But it can remove the issue entirely, to get her back to work sooner.</p><p>So he does.</p><p>"Forced magical abortion" was not on my Dragonlance bingo card. It was so tonally unexpected and jarring to read, I'm not even sure what to say about it.</p><p>The earth begins to shake moments later, as if sympathetic to the collective rage of the goblins at what they just witnessed, and the second quake begins. Both quakes in this book are extremely pointed and cinematic in their destruction. Pits open up to swallow people and animals before closing and crushing them, like the dragon's jaws imagery from before. The earth tears open to reveal huge areas of jagged stone ready to skewer anyone that falls upon them, like all-natural punji pits. Clouds of noxious gas spew forth to envelop Steel Town in an even greater dinginess than usual. Cracks spiderweb outward for miles from the epicenter, which is of course exactly where our characters are located. As indiscriminate as the quake's violence is, it also feels pointed and guided as if by malicious misintent. And considering this is a world with gods and dragons, it very well may be.</p><p>With the beginning of the second quake, so too begins The Rebellion.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Chapters 14-25</h4><p style="text-align: left;">In the dark of night, Direfang crashes right through the wall of the pen carrying a still-grieving Graytoes like a football with her mate Moon-eye close behind. He leads a wave of goblins to make a break for it. Countless die to fissures in the earth, or are cut down by the knights or burned by Grallik's fire once he arrives on the scene, but many more scramble beyond their reach in the confusion. Some of them even drag down and beat a few knights to death with their bare hands.</p><p style="text-align: left;">When Grallik conjures a wall of fire to cut off the remaining goblins, the escape grinds down to a halt. Evidently he took the <a href="https://www.d20srd.org/srd/feats.htm#spellMasterySpecial">Spell Mastery</a> feat for his favorite fire magic, because I don't know why he would've had that spell prepared a few days prior, before the earthquake and the loss of his spellbooks. He does have a few hints of Hollywood pyromania, after all. The escape ends as Grallik witnesses Mudwort flexing her earth magic powers one more time, by opening a tunnel underneath his fire for a few more goblins to escape through.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The goblins scatter far and wide over the surrounding hill country, with slightly more than half choosing to follow Direfang. He was a leader in servitude, and unfortunately for him he's a leader in freedom too. This holds true even through the goblins' misgivings over his plan to take a contingent and march right back into Steel Town to steal supplies and rescue their fellows who couldn't escape.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The attack goes surprisingly well. Direfang leads the goblins to loot the graves of all the recently deceased knights for the weapons they're buried with, then ambush the haggard few remaining live ones while shouting such rallying war cries as "Water!" Direfang and others manage to kill multiple highly trained dark knights (including several cavalrymen with lances) despite never having held weapons before. Their own body count remains surprisingly low meanwhile, and they even manage to rescue Mudwort, who was stuck behind during the escape.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I'd find this spectacular victory less immersion-breaking if it didn't follow immediately after that random episode of reproductive violence. Tonal whiplash goes both ways.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The message meant to be delivered is how the goblins can achieve great things when they work together, and true enough.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Not everyone is willing to work together, however.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The skull knights used the last of their spell slots enchanting the remaining goblins in captivity before the battle, brainwashing them to stay put in Steel Town where it's "safe". Direfang and company struggle to snap them out of it before their final flight from the mining camp. Some get literally slapped out of it, or just carried away by friends and loved ones, but dozens remain staring dumbly, addled and afraid of the unknown. As if to drive the point into the reader's mind like a nail, Mudwort declares them all 'sheep' before the ramshackle army heads south.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Direfang displays another shred of interiority during the march, when he wills himself to relive all the awful memories of the place he's finally leaving behind- in order to force himself to cry so that his tears will wash away the dirt in his eyes. Of course he marches to the front of the army while he does this, so no one can see him cry. I've never seen someone lifehack their toxic masculinity like that.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Mudwort hasn't figured as much in my writing as a character because she hasn't had a lot of impact outside of her premonitions. Besides her magic, there's little going on with her. Her magic is a large reason for that, and is the main cause for how unmoored from worldly issues she tends to be. But when she is around and present, she's almost callously indifferent to those around her. She doesn't care for most of the goblins, with the exception of Direfang, who in turn comes to rely upon her powers and passive-aggressive counsel while he deals with the stresses of his unwanted leadership position.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Speaking of which, her magic really starts to come into its own in this third of the book. She graduates from tunneling through dirt to astral projecting herself (or at least her senses) through miles of earth in order to scout for the goblin army or suss out why the earth is still so angry. It's through this that she learns that there's going to be a proper volcanic eruption following the earthquakes, to add to the list of bad news the escapees have to deal with. She also learns that there is something very bad awaiting them in the south, but she keeps that part to herself for the time being.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Other notable moments during the march south include an incident in which the goblins find, slaughter, and then eat an entire village of ogre slavers in the Khalkist Mountains in order to momentarily sate the growing logistical nightmare that is managing 1,000 starving, freedom-intoxicated goblins.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Er. Praxis...?</p><p style="text-align: left;">I don't think goblin cannibalism is being presented in a villainous manner here, just highly pragmatic. But then again my personal qualms with cannibalism are more a matter of ethics and disease prevention than the standard Western taboo, so I might be an easier audience to keep in willing suspension of disbelief than most. The same goes for all the instances of goblins eating worms, insects, and other viable protein sources throughout this book- although they could at least wash and cook them first.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Chapters 26-End</h4><p style="text-align: left;">While picking through the ruins of the ogre village and doing some basic organizing, Direfang and the old goblin Hurbear first throw around the concept of a goblin <i>nation</i>. The disparate goblins and their clans have been cooperating surprisingly well up to that point without whips and knights behind them. The two muse that the roving army might have the makings of a society, if they can just make it south past the rest of Neraka, the dwarves of Thoradin, the ogres of Blöde, and whoever's still alive and in control of Silvanesti to reach the Plains of Dust.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The Plains of Dust dominate the bottom fifth or so of the continent of Ansalon. It's a vast, subarctic semi-desert that used to be a relatively verdant steppe before the Cataclysm wrecked the place and dried up hundreds of miles of coastline. I think when the Heroes of the Lance split up in the original trilogy, one group traveled to the landlocked former port city of Tarsis there. The place has gotten greener since the start of the Age of Mortals, though- it got terraformed by some space dragons from an alien planet or something.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Dragonlance is fricking goofy.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The conversation is then cut short by a sudden attack from giant centipedes attracted by all the movement and spilled ogre blood, because not even novelizations of D&D can escape rolling on the random encounter table.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The battle is chaotic at first, but Direfang gets his bug squashing on and helps turn the tide, until a dire centipede bigger than the hatori bursts forth from the ground and prepares to mash him into paste. But then a pillar of fire erupts from the sky and cooks the centipede so violently that it explodes in a shower of reeking, scorched gore across the entire village, like a pizza roll left overlong in a microwave.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The caster of this <i>deus ex machina</i> fire spell? Our old friend, spicy Garlic.</p><p style="text-align: left;">After vanishing from the narrative for a good chunk of the book, Grallik reappears at the edge of the ogre village with 3 surviving knights- two from his squad or <i>talon</i>, and one remaining skull knight. They arrive looking bedraggled all to hell, and barely standing. But they still have the energy to be galling. They come with an offer of diplomacy, of all things.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Grallik explains during a tense parley between he and Direfang (and the wall of fire separating them) that Steel Town is dead, along with most of the other knights- his commanding officer included. But the nature of their departure from Steel Town is vague, and it's implied Grallik had to win his companions to his side before leaving. They're defectors- traitors, even.</p><p style="text-align: left;">With all the desperation and feigned humility of an SS officer surrendering himself to a group of American soldiers while the Red Army breathes down his neck, Grallik and co. hand over their every worldly possession and appeal to Direfang's concern for the health of his fellows- as well as the infected cut festering on his left arm. The priest, Horace, offers his healing abilities to the goblins, and in return they are to join the army's march unharmed.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Hesitantly, Direfang agrees and Hurbear helps quell goblin calls for blood and vengeance by volunteering to be healed first, to show it isn't a ruse.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Surprisingly, the goblins accept this arrangement. They strip the knights almost-naked and throw them in the ogres' slave pen overnight, but still they agree.</p><p style="text-align: left;">If this is the beginning of some kind of redemption arc where Garlic learns the error of his ways by being briefly subjected to the same indignities as the people he helped keep enslaved for years, I am going to be <i>so</i> salty. I don't know that for a fact yet though.</p><p style="text-align: left;">What I do know is that he's only tenuously in charge of this group of breakaway knights. His two surviving talon members, Kenosh and Aneas, were the most difficult to convince to leave with him- and Aneas only agreed after reserving the right to bail out at any moment, which Grallik expects him to do soon. Horace was the easiest to convince, because he isn't especially devoted to the cause. He just wants to get the hell back home to Ergoth if it suits the whims of his goddess Zeboim, Chaotic Evil deity of the sea, storms, and spite.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Grallik has some measure of camaraderie with the knights under his command, but he doesn't much care for Horace, because of the latter's lack of loyalty to the order.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You know, the order that Grallik has now deserted from instead of loyally facing a potential demotion?</p><p style="text-align: left;">Garlic is quickly cementing himself as the absolute worst.</p><p style="text-align: left;">An ulterior motive for Grallik (other than not dying) quickly comes to light. He saw the magic wielded by Mudwort at Steel Town and was at once shocked and enraptured by it. Before he has so much as spoken to the goblin or determined that she doesn't want to wear his intestines as a fashionably asymmetrical belt, he has begun to imagine her teaching him, and unlocking all-new secrets of magic for him that will make up for all the tomes and research he had to leave smoldering in a pit back home. This aspiration mostly amounts to him making eyes at her through the slats of the slave pen from afar like a creep, before he manages to establish contact.</p><p style="text-align: left;">During all of that leering, Grallik discovers that Moon-eye also has magic, of a sort. He doesn't seem to be able to sense earthquakes or move rock on his own, but his sense of smell that was previously presented as just incredibly acute now takes on supernatural qualities, when he acts as an assistant to Mudwort's earth-communing rituals and comments that the stones still smell 'pained' where they are.</p><p style="text-align: left;">They also mix their magic together in a way that Grallik, still a dyed-in-the-wool wizard, deems impossible. I've been reading through a lot of the D&D 3E Dragonlance setting books in parallel with <i>The Rebellion</i>, and that description tells me with some finality that what these two are using is primal sorcery- elemental magic of the land, plus a bit of all-purpose matter manipulation. I'm slightly bummed that Mudwort isn't a mystic, but I'm sure we'll be getting one of those sometime soon.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Mudwort clues Moon-eye in to the unknown bad something awaiting them in the south, but again she declines to tell Direfang about it. Either she just really doesn't want to disappoint her buddy now that he's on a roll, or she's planning something.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The army leaves just ahead of more steaming fissures opening up in the earth around the village, reminding us that this whole stretch of the Khalkists is apparently a ticking timebomb. Tremors and rockslides chase them across the narrow mountain paths, sending many goblins and their baggage tumbling to their deaths.</p><p style="text-align: left;">We're treated to another pair of goblin language phrases here: <i>gosjall-giyerafajra</i>, meaning "mountains of fiery war" or volcanoes; and <i>eldura-bundok</i>, meaning "mountain fire" or lava.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I <i>was</i> going to pick these phrases apart and be a know-nothing conlang snob about how neither of them share distinct elements that the reader could identify with the root words they share... but then I typed the words into Google and realized that half of the constituent parts are ripped directly from Tagalog. Giyera is Tagalog for "war", and bundok is "mountain" without the diacritic- it's also where we get the English word <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boondocks#Origins">boondocks</a>. Fajra also appears to be the Esperanto word for "fiery", as a random bonus. No idea where gosjall or eldura come from, if they are derivatives of anything.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The use of Austronesian words in Dragonlance actually has a lot of precedent, as weirdly specific as that sounds. As the story goes, while Tracy Hickman was off doing his Mormon missionary thing in Java in the '70s, he picked up some of the Indonesian language, a variety of Malay. When he went on to cowrite Dragonlance, he modeled Magius (the language of magic) loosely on Indonesian, including a few actual words. It's been with the setting ever since, and my guess is that Jean wanted to do something similar but distinct for goblins.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I don't know how I feel about practices like this, partly because I'm guilty of them myself. Words in other languages often carry a certain aesthetic flavor for non-native speakers, or maybe the flavor is applied to the former by the latter through so many layered lenses of culture and sociopolitical experience. It's part of why English speakers like saying <i>je ne sais quoi</i> so much, to use a self-demonstrating example.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I don't know if there's a nonharmful way to do it with the language of a formerly colonized people as a Westerner. It's not that the words are being used here specifically to convey that the goblins are Filipino in a weird <a href="https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FantasyCounterpartCulture">Fantasy Counterpart Culture</a> way- there's too little connective tissue present to make a claim like that, unlike how you can make a very easy case that the nomadic humans of Krynn are an explicit pastiche of Great Plains tribes and nations. But even if it isn't epistemic violence at play, it can feel a little tacky.</p><p style="text-align: left;">And I'm not coming down on Jean in particular for this. I feel like most high fantasy does this at some point. Case in point, over on the D&D side of Dragonlance, some writers decided to name nomadic hobgoblin leaders <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morza">murzas</a> and their tribes <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aul">auls</a>- and I didn't complain one bit at the time because my brain was too wrapped up in the usual "oh sweet, Central Asian steppe influence!" reflex.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Anyway. Dragonlance is goofy and I am longwinded, but we knew both of those already.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The incredibly cinematic volcanic eruption and the escape from it dominate the last few pages of the book. As it turns out, all the peaks we've been seeing in the distance this whole time weren't individual volcanoes: Mudwort reports that the earth says all of them are mouths of a single volcano, fed by a single massive magma lake deep below. Now that the earthquake awakened it, they're all awake. The proverbial dragon that had snapped up so many people in its maws has finally breathed flame.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You get everything you'd expect; people trying to outrun pyroclastic flows, leaping over rivers of lava, flashes of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volcanic_lightning">volcanic lightning</a> in the ash columns, etc. Several named goblins that survived the rebellion and the ogre camp die horribly here, as does the knight Aneas. Direfang, still acting like a leader despite himself, feels responsible for every death. Moon-eye's song becomes outright prophetic by this point, as just about every verse has occurred in some deadly fashion. Surprisingly, Graytoes and Moon-eye survive despite being perhaps the worst-off goblins in the whole army after so much hardship and trauma.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The survivors—less than 500 of the previously 1,000+ strong army—are rewarded with a torrential rainstorm, which they gulp down without fear or ill effect from all of the ashes and carcinogens that must be suspended in the water.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Mudwort leads them up and down several mountains in a days-long climb to escape the advancing lava, following that magical pull that she finally reveals to the reader to be entirely selfish- something in the south is of interest to <i>her</i>, rather than her people, and she just wanted an army at her back while she made the trek. That explains how selective with her auguries she was.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Eventually, Horace reveals to Direfang that she's led them straight to Godshome.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Readers of the main series might recognize this hidden vale in the mountains as the place where Flint died, and that doddering old twit Fizban finally revealed himself to be god Paladine. Several other major events have happened here, because it used to be where all the gods (or at least their avatars) hung out. Hundreds of years ago there used to be a whole city of Godshome where all of the gods (except the nature and moon deities) were represented by a district and temple that people from all over the world visited in pilgrimage, back before the ascendant theocratic xenophobes from Istar destroyed it and the gods dropped a flaming mountain on the planet as collective punishment. Now the city is a ruin, and no gods abode in the secret vale.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But their power remains. At the center of the vale rests a disk of polished black stone that always reflects the constellations of the night sky- even when it's daytime, or the sky is snarled in volcanic clouds. And because it's stone, a certain pair of goblins can touch it and delve into it with their magic. Mudwort and Moon-eye project their consciousnesses into the disk, which projects them into the sky, and suddenly they find themselves flying across the entirety of Ansalon.</p><p style="text-align: left;">They search far and wide for the lands where other goblins dwell, or where they might be able to settle. They see the south pole, the northern islands, the hunted and beleaguered tribes of the south, the scarred wilderness of Qualinesti, the urban towns and cities of Sikk'et Hul (rendered as Sikkei 'Hul in Mudwort's dialect), and the Hordes of Ankhar warring with Solamnia.</p><p style="text-align: left;">That last vision helps anchor the events of this book somewhere between 425 and 427 AC, concurrent with the <i>The Rise of Solamnia</i> trilogy in which those battles take place; assuming the sparse and rarely up-to-date Dragonlance fandom page is accurate, of course. In case calendar years are meaningless to you, the War of the Lance was over 70 years ago by this time. There are probably some nods and references to other books in that montage, but if there are I didn't catch them.</p><p style="text-align: left;">All of this and more gets projected onto the mirror for the entire goblin army to watch in awe. I wasn't expecting to encounter Google-Maps-turned-lightshow in this book, and I don't think they were either.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Mudwort becomes lost in the euphoria of the search until a third goblin joins their little ritual- the very ungobliny-named Boliver, who helped her open up that tunnel in the dirt back during the escape from Steel Town. I think Jean kind of forgot to include him at any other point in the march, and hastily shoved him and his history as a shaman before enslavement into the story here at the last minute. Mr. Exposition finally gives name to what they've been doing this whole time: Stonetelling.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Once more masking her draw toward a place of primal magical power as something undertaken in the goblins' interests, Mudwort has Direfang move the goalpost on their journey south. The forests of Qualinesti, abandoned by the elves after a succession of invasions, are ripe for the taking- as are their secrets. Murmurs of a goblin nation spread up and down the column again as the battered but unbowed remnants of the army exit the Godshome vale.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Moon-eye lingers behind for a little longer, though. The experience with the black mirror had been almost as exhilarating for him as for Mudwort, and he wishes to glean a few more experiences from it before moving on forever. He sweeps this way and that, and even hovers over his fellow goblins for a time- long enough to unwittingly hear a conversation carried on in secret by the goblins Saro-Saro and Krumb.</p><p style="text-align: left;">An undercurrent of resentment toward Direfang from other goblins, mostly tribal heads, has been present throughout the book. They had their doubts about him, but didn't decide he actually needed to be killed until it became apparent that he really could lead the goblins into liberation and self-determination. Upon hearing Mudwort's hyped-up story of how verdant and free Qualinesti forest is, they decide the time is fast-approaching to stab Direfang and all his allies to death in their sleep so that the self-important little potbelly Saro-Saro can rule.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Poor Moon-eye had a better sense of smell than sense of discretion, and he makes the mistake of sharing this revelation with Spikehollow, the first goblin whom he finds while catching up to the departing army. Spikehollow shanks him for his trouble as soon as his back's turned and leaves his body in the ash, sans one finger. And I saw this coming a full page in advance, because as Moon-eye was running his mind wandered to all the stories he would tell to his future children, once he and Graytoes tried again.</p><p style="text-align: left;">So ends the first book in the trilogy, with the inchoate dream of a nation already threatened by deceit and petty jockeying for position at the as-of-yet nonexistent top. And there's still a long, long march ahead.</p><p style="text-align: center;">-</p><p style="text-align: left;">This book took me the better part of a month to work through, not that it was particularly long. Less than 300 pages with a pretty generous font size, I think. Many days I'd open the PDF first thing in the morning, and just couldn't bring myself to touch it again before bedtime. It was going to be the same way it always goes down, and I'd give up like before. But then when I'd think about all I've already written, as well as how I went the entirety of October without posting anything, the negative motivation returned. </p><p style="text-align: left;">In the end, it actually paid off. And I don't regret it?</p><p style="text-align: left;">Of course I had plenty of gripes with the book- you just got done reading that whole mess. But they were gripes that I felt valid and comfortable enough talking about, which is a rare luxury for me. And I didn't hate it. There were parts I enjoyed, or at least found interesting. Despite the flaws that I see in it, I'd actually like to know where the trilogy goes from here.</p><p style="text-align: left;">This is a weird feeling to process, so I'm going to put it off for now and thank you for reading this far instead. I didn't expect the post to balloon the way it did, and I don't know if I'll give the other two books the same treatment, if/when I get around to reading them. But I took a tiny baby step here, and I have you to thank for that in some weird, reverse-parasocial way.</p><p style="text-align: left;">And if any of you folks are currently struggling with motivation for <a href="https://nanowrimo.org/">NaNoWriMo</a>, let this be a bit of encouragement for you.</p><p style="text-align: left;">If I of all people can bring myself to finish the two-hundred-and-whatever-the-hellth Dragonlance book, somebody out there is going to devour and love your story, guaranteed.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Just try to do it for the both of you, if you can.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-5697189199443718392023-09-23T13:24:00.002-04:002023-09-25T08:06:10.240-04:003E OdditE: Ambient Tempest (Bestiary of Krynn, 2004)<p>Click <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2022/12/3e-oddite-archive.html">here</a> to return to the OdditE archive.</p><p><br /></p><p>Dragonlance has a weird relationship with the larger body of 3E material, as well as the audience who engages with it. WotC owned the license throughout the entirety of the edition, but after one of many legal back-and-forths they handed the actual work of writing and publishing Dragonlance books off to Sovereign Press, the printing company owned by Dragonlance cocreator Margaret Weis.</p><p>Because of that technically-officially-licensed-yet-also-3rd-party status, all of the 3E Dragonlance books are in a weird limbo when it comes to whether people consider them "core" or not. You rarely ever see material from them referenced alongside other splatbooks on forums and in character build handbooks. Even other settings like Eberron were talked about far more often in similar contexts, although part of that was probably thanks to differences in sales and plain old popularity. This was the early-to-mid 2000s, and Dragonlance was no longer the same hot young IP it was in the 1980s.</p><p>As a result, I regularly learn about whole new classes, spells, and feats that I've never even heard of before cracking open one of the old Dragonlance campaign setting books for the first time. It's always a fun discovery, no matter how bland or broken or just plain weird the thing in question happens to be.</p><p>Today, I'll be sharing one such find.</p><p>The <i>Bestiary of Krynn</i> was originally released in 2004, but owing to the hefty amount of errata and cut content that it shipped without, a Revised edition was released in November of 2006. 3E Dragonlance books were somewhat notorious for their seeming lack of close proofreading and editing, which probably contributed to their lack of popularity online. At least the Bestiary got a second shot, unlike most others.</p><p>(And it really needed the second shot, because one of the class abilities we'll be looking at today was completely nonfunctional due to an omitted word!)</p><p style="clear: both;">In the Bestiary we are treated to all manner of nasties and weirdos. This includes an unsurprisingly large proportion of dragon subtypes, but also some beasts, outsiders, undead, and a caste of goblins mutated by chaotic magic called the Gurik Cha'ahl. It also has a suite of monster-oriented Prestige Classes, as well as rules for handling a monster PC's initial rejection and possible acceptance by any humanoid communities they adventure in, which I wasn't expecting at all. <i>Savage Species</i> should have done something similar, in my opinion.</p><p style="clear: both;">One monster PrC in particular grabbed my attention, because more than being for monsters, it's for anyone with enough primal magical power.</p><p style="clear: both;">3E Dragonlance books were mostly set during the Age of Mortals after the Chaos War, where through multiple novels worth of machinations the dark goddess Takhisis used the cosmic battle with the gods' deadbeat dad Chaos to steal the entire planet of Krynn away from her siblings. All divine and arcane magic ceased to function for that approximately 50 year period, because even wizards are dependent upon the three magical moon gods for their spells on Krynn.</p><p style="clear: both;">During this magical dark age, mortals rediscovered the ancient "wild" sorcery that comes from the land itself, rather than from the moons. Simultaneously, they drew upon the latent power of mortal souls to develop the more internal and spiritualistic form of divine magic called mysticism. In thematic terms they're remarkably similar to different aspects of Primal magic that we would later see in D&D 4E. In mechanical terms, the sorcerer is unchanged while the mystic is a new base class presented in the <i>Dragonlance Campaign Setting</i> that acts like a spontaneous cleric minus the heavy armor, undead turning, and 1 domain. Kind of sparse, but still a solid Tier 2.</p><p style="clear: both;">Even after Takhy's plot was foiled in part by a time-traveling kender and most of the gods returned to the world, these new/old forms of magic continue to exist alongside their traditional cousins. The future is uncertain and bound to be rocky, but mortals are in a better position to steer their own destinies than they have been in ages- so long as those pendulum-obsessed rich kids they call gods can stop meddling in their plaything so much.</p><p style="clear: both;">Delving deeper into either of these ambient forms of magic to unlock their hitherto-untapped potential is the specialty of the aptly-named Ambient Tempest.</p><h3 style="text-align: center;">Ambient Tempest</h3><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmSyXms1YvSlYp0M00xFwVBzH41nCWMloFVj8OHxh3Thst1v8GSKccTrDxO32Xtlt7k0-ShZrKn6oOcnCqdyqtgCR_m4vL0SW-CPs6oxxLKjK-t1tQ6YW_KUDj24K9-HoweOOpI0ttymfKzrM_3Z6UwjqEncDtmzNdM5m0hprKTpGfzkzqJ3gHbhgIE6I/s581/Ambient%20Tempest.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="442" data-original-width="581" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmSyXms1YvSlYp0M00xFwVBzH41nCWMloFVj8OHxh3Thst1v8GSKccTrDxO32Xtlt7k0-ShZrKn6oOcnCqdyqtgCR_m4vL0SW-CPs6oxxLKjK-t1tQ6YW_KUDj24K9-HoweOOpI0ttymfKzrM_3Z6UwjqEncDtmzNdM5m0hprKTpGfzkzqJ3gHbhgIE6I/w400-h304/Ambient%20Tempest.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unquenchable, unstoppable, and, er, unclothable.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The Ambient Tempest (AT) is a 5-level PrC with 1d4 HD, 2 + Int skill ranks in a modest list, 1/2 BAB, poor Fort and Reflex Saves, and 4/5 spontaneous spellcasting advancement. Between the sorcerer and the mystic, its basic chassis is closer to sorcerer. A melee mystic would get set back quite a bit by levels in this class, though its unique abilities might make up for it to some extent. Dedicated casters who are already trying to stay out of harm's way are mostly only looking at a downside of 1 lost CL.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Qualifying for AT requires 9 ranks in Knowledge (Arcana) and Spellcraft, two out of a selection of magical and metamagic feats, 3rd-level spontaneous spells from either of the above classes (or a weirder pick), and <i>either</i> a supernatural or spell-like ability <i>or</i> two more of the above feats. Mystics can qualify depending on their chosen domain's granted power, while sorcerers might need a bit more work depending on if the Familiar class ability counts as <b>(Su)</b> or not. Something like a dragon with innate magical abilities has the easiest time qualifying for this PrC, but PC species can potentially qualify by 6th level.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw36_Kh1mVO5ncDSNKT8g_RbIONHXK9EOutx11JxocxbPOfjAWy1M8dOkzOEGem8yNm6oHkSza5RSFUqCRlWBMVnafUN_g-LYwxQYUsD9q9fGVz_8-sRQNFoBKq6bcp2lLO_xLp0S0NxlHbdTumu_V2gWhF_JP3REz8yRz3Nv4DLjSr88u6GQnWN2fl7I/s805/Ambient%20Tempest%20Table.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="805" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw36_Kh1mVO5ncDSNKT8g_RbIONHXK9EOutx11JxocxbPOfjAWy1M8dOkzOEGem8yNm6oHkSza5RSFUqCRlWBMVnafUN_g-LYwxQYUsD9q9fGVz_8-sRQNFoBKq6bcp2lLO_xLp0S0NxlHbdTumu_V2gWhF_JP3REz8yRz3Nv4DLjSr88u6GQnWN2fl7I/w400-h145/Ambient%20Tempest%20Table.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unsurprisingly there are no online reprints of this or most other Dragonlance material.<br />So here's a screen grab of the table from the revised PDF. Shh, don't tell Hasbro.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The three big class features of the AT are <b>Shifting Knowledge (Ex)</b>, <b>Ambient Secret</b>, and <b>Spellshaping (Ex)</b>. Their theme is tweaking or breaking many of the usual rules for spontaneous casting, which fits well with the flavor of the PrC.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Shifting Knowledge</b> allows the spontaneous caster to dispense with the once-at-4th-level-and-every-2nd-level-after-that rule for changing out their known spells for others, and instead change 1 spell/week with an hour of meditation as long as it's 2 spell levels below your max. While it isn't as freeing as other classes like say, the Spirit Shaman (Complete Divine) that can change their spontaneous list daily, it's a big step toward making sorcerers and mystics more versatile. With enough downtime you could redo most of your spell library, and I think that's an uncommon and neat ability.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Ambient Secret</b> comes up 3 times during AT progression. It allows you to select 1 ability from a short list, most of which can't be selected multiple times as is standard for that sort of thing. The choices are:</p><div style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>Improved Metamagic</i>, which allows you to ignore the normal rule that metamagic on a spontaneous spell costs a full-round action. I always wondered why that rule only existed for the less overpowered of all the full-casters, but wonky balance is part of why I love/hate 3E.</li><ul><li>(This is the ability that I mentioned was unusable prior to errata, because instead of "a spell" it just said "a". Big improvement.)</li></ul><li><i>Improved Shifting</i>, which allows you to ignore the spell level limit on swapping spells in and out with Shifting Knowledge. Simple but good. Now your entire repertoire is mutable.</li><li><i>Metamagic Feat</i>, which is exactly what it sounds like. You may learn any metamagic feat you qualify for, and you can take this more than once if you really want.</li><ul><li>I'd personally avoid taking this more than once because you only have 3 secrets total.</li></ul><li><i>Shifting Knowledge</i>, which is named exactly like the other class feature for some reason. I would've gone with <i>Expanded Knowledge</i> or something like that but hey, I'm not the editor. It lets you swap 1 extra spell per week and can be taken more than once. This could be really good, or just kind of nice, depending on how varied the challenges you tend to face are.</li><ul><li>My personal ranking puts this at the bottom—maybe tied with the bonus metamagic feat—below the other two near-mandatory secrets.</li></ul></ul><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Spellshaping</b> lets you just walk all over the normal rules of metamagic. With this ability, you can reverse your Enlarge, Extend, or Widen metamagic feats so that they reduce the spell's effect for a spell slot 1 level <i>lower</i> than normal. This is the first instance of reverse metamagic I've ever seen in 3rd Edition, and I love the concept. It gives so many situationally useful spells that much more utility, especially at higher levels when your lower-level spell slots start to pile up and feel less impactful. </p><p style="text-align: left;">Imagine Narrowing a Fireball so that you don't clip your friends who are hanging around too close to the target, or Shortening all those combat buffs and debuffs that have durations measuring in the minutes/level, which rarely ever matters in a system where combat lasts less than a minute on average. It barely even feels like a cost, and that's before you get to the gravy of saving your bigger spell slots, or the hidden tech of adding one of these on top of a regular metamagic feat in order to modify its increased cost.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">I've never wanted to play a sorcerer before (except for an attempt at a Greater Mighty Wallop build one time), but this PrC kinda gives me the itch to try. I'd probably opt for mystic if I was in a Dragonlance game, though. Playing a Stone-Teller of the Godless Folk would be too nifty to pass up.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You could bring in any other spontaneous caster for shenanigans, though. Imagine a spirit shaman combining daily list tweaks with the metamagic metagame, or using the Unearthed Arcana option for spontaneous clerics and druids.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Or don't, because that might be too much cheese. It won't be mozzarella nightstick levels of cheese, but at least a solid, rindy gouda.</p></div>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-9755545265397333142023-09-12T14:44:00.000-04:002023-09-12T14:44:41.889-04:00Troika: The Spellsponge<p style="text-align: left;">You aren't sure if you were lucky or unlucky when the witch-hunter's spell fizzled out upon your bare skin with an inelegant <i>schlorp</i>. On one hand you escaped immediate, agonizing death. But on the other hand, everyone within sight of the incident couldn't shake the feeling that maybe the fanatic's suspicions about you were not <i>completely</i> baseless.</p><p style="text-align: left;">You've been on the run ever since. Not because you're still being hunted, although that certainly is one motivator. No, you wander because that fateful day awakened something in you. A thirst for magic that isn't academic, nor megalomaniacal, nor power-hungry. Well, maybe it's a little hungry. A hunger for spells, the look and feel of them, the sensation of intuitive <i>knowing</i> that fills you when you're around magic.</p><p style="text-align: left;">That ineffable feeling has sent you wandering far. Maybe somewhere in the feeling of sublime wholeness, you'll find out just how and why you randomly soak spells up like a sponge.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Or maybe you'll get to freak out another inquisitor.</p><h4 style="text-align: center;">The Spellsponge</h4><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHSGK1aQx8uoh3wztVJK6X5r9nlXxVThfdO4epXMj4atuvGEUiodfjVnxVhofUSuLao231NbHBvYZmHUCJ7lJpAlPw5n3fqYzc3xQ1mz38IXc1LpI7n7ZIWphxeBS1Nt7EaWxBkzxKqQsWfl7Zg42Sap9woTX5AyMe87EC-YFzM8PcPPBZ9j51rX6DeA/s1280/tumblr_p0nvmgU5rZ1r34i9to2_1280.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1009" data-original-width="1280" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHSGK1aQx8uoh3wztVJK6X5r9nlXxVThfdO4epXMj4atuvGEUiodfjVnxVhofUSuLao231NbHBvYZmHUCJ7lJpAlPw5n3fqYzc3xQ1mz38IXc1LpI7n7ZIWphxeBS1Nt7EaWxBkzxKqQsWfl7Zg42Sap9woTX5AyMe87EC-YFzM8PcPPBZ9j51rX6DeA/w400-h315/tumblr_p0nvmgU5rZ1r34i9to2_1280.webp" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nishat by <a href="http://tumblr.com/ronkoza">Ron Koza</a> (formerly hvit-ravn)</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Possessions</b></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>Travelworn Cloak</i>, stitched and patched in many colors.</li><li><i>Walking Stick</i>, inexpertly carved out of boredom.</li><li><i>Knife</i>, more for the outdoors than the battlefield but still quite sharp.</li><li><i>Idiosyncratic Trinkets & Charms</i> which don't actually do anything supernatural but help you make sense of the world and your aberrant relationship to magic within it.</li><li><i>A Map</i> scribbled with notes on local wizard schools, temples, ley-lines, etc.</li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Advanced Skills</b></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span> 3 Second Sight</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><span> 2 Awareness</span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><span><span> 2 Intuition</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span> 2 Spell - Random</span><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span> 1 Spell - Random</span><br /></span></span></span></div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Special</b></p><p style="text-align: left;">When you witness a spell being cast or are targeted by a spell, you may Test your Luck to learn that spell as if you had trained a new Advanced Skill to rank 1. Additionally, if the spell is targeted at you and you succeed your Test, you "soak up" the spell and it does not affect you. You may attempt this once per week per spell. You can't use this ability on a spell you already know.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-14286327446476792352023-09-03T11:56:00.000-04:002023-09-03T11:56:19.323-04:00Slag & Scale<p>It is known how the God at the Forge created the Sun: by complete accident.</p><p>When the Trickster wished to give the smith a gift to express its love for them, it did not know how, because it could not express anything. Deceit and concealment was so ingrained in its ways that it could not even tell a truth it wanted to share. So the Trickster fell back on old habits and presented to the God at the Forge a lump of the world's worst, most impure ore. The Trickster then dared the god to create anything of beauty out of it, teasing them and doubting their abilities as a child might the person they fancy.</p><p>The God at the Forge was insulted, for pride in the craft was their insurmountable nature. So they accepted the challenge, and set straight to work. They took the lump of ore to their forge and heated it a thousand-thousand times over, in a fire a thousand times brighter and hotter than the smith had ever stoked before. So bright and hot was the forge that all the other gods and creatures of the Rift shied away and fled to the twilit places- all but the Trickster, who watched the smith work in teary-eyed awe.</p><p>The Trickster beheld as the god at their bellows began to melt away the outer layers of the ore. Molten slag flowed like rivers and cooled into mountains, yet that vexing lump of ore remained undiminished; still impure. The smith's anger burned as hot as the forge, nearly melting it to the firmament. The god finally lashed out and sent the slag crashing to their feet, before stomping away and brooding over what next to do.</p><p>The Trickster also watched as some of that discarded slag began to move. Shattered crags picked themselves up and brushed off the smaller, crumbly bits of their fellows with stumpy, blunt limbs. They looked around with eyeless heads, and soon trundled or toddled away in fear at the sound of their creator's loud grumbling.</p><p>When the ore proved too stubborn, the smith pulled it out of the forge and laid it upon their anvil in the grip of their great and immovable tongs. If all the impurities would not melt out, then they would hammer them out. The smith deliberated at length, and finally took up one of their 6,842 hammers with which to begin the Great Folding.</p><p>For a length of time that would come to be called a year, the god hammered at the lump of ore. Every swing lit the Rift with showers of sparks, and shook the gulfs to their depths. The ore was beaten and shaped, tortured and purified, until the lesser metals were dragged screaming to the surface and smote.</p><p>The Trickster watched as those flakes of hammerscale rained upon the anvil like storms-yet-to-be, only to be swept away by the calloused hand of the God at the Forge. The flakes danced and shivered like black snowflakes as they fell, twisting in the heated air currents until they landed upon spindly little arms and legs. Jagged and pointy, these diminutive creatures did not flee in fear from their creator so quickly.</p><p>But just as the smith ignored the gawking Trickster, so too did they ignore the growing audience at their feet. They seized upon the progress they made, bringing the hammer down faster and harder until their arm was a blur, and their work reached a fever pitch.</p><p>When it did, they broke their hammer upon the lump of ore and ignited something deep within it. A spark unlike any other, that grew and grew to absorb the entire sphere with a brilliance that not even the smith could withstand. So they hurled it away into the darkness, where it caught in the empty void and erupted into its full glory.</p><p>At that, the little scales yipped and fled in fear. All the gods of the Rift came to look in awe at the newborn Sun. Without a doubt, it was the greatest thing of beauty the God at the Forge had ever made. Even the dust and the dregs of the Rift thought so, and began to dance around the Sun in ever greater crowds.</p><p>But the story of how the worlds were wedded together is for another time.</p><p>For now, the God at the Forge stood and basked in the warmth of their creation, and the accolades of their fellows. They waited, proud and imperious, for the Trickster to come before them and declare its challenge met. But the Trickster did not. The Trickster could not. All it could do was conceal the ache in its heart as it stole away to darker parts, where the smith's beauty did not burn so brightly, and the laughter of gods was not so loud.</p><p>There, in the dark and quiet, the Trickster found that it was not so alone. It found there, huddled and frightened, the little bits of slag and hammerscale that the smith had cast off and forgotten in their work. They were as children without a parent, in a Rift that was no longer what it once was. Yet they were sharp and rough to look upon, beautiful like lead, cruel to the touch and clumsy in all ways. The haughty gods of the Rift would never even notice them, let alone deign to welcome them in.</p><p>And so the Trickster reached out its long arms, and gathered the slag and scales up in spindly hands that could only steal the belongings of others. And then it closed its mouth so full of lies long enough to tenderly kiss them upon their jagged little heads. And then in a voice too quiet to hear it admitted that yes, the God at the Forge had made something beautiful indeed.</p><p>That, child, is why you should always treat with respect the things we might call waste: you never know when they might hold the guarded love of the Trickster.</p><p>Or perhaps that is just another lie, meant to put fidgeting children to bed. Now go to sleep.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-27347301953820198592023-09-01T11:04:00.001-04:002023-09-01T11:04:42.497-04:00SotU Hack: Sojourners of the Unknown<div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">Last month I didn't publish anything because I was flitting back and forth between three or four different things that might turn out to be major, trajectory-altering projects for me, or they might end up being nothing at all. It's hard to tell at this stage. But the tiny voice in my head that embodies all the passive-aggression of a YouTube commenter saying "you should really do X again" has gotten loud lately, so I decided to take a break from flitting and focus on finishing something small.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Incidentally I've recently learned about Searchers of the Unknown, another hackable 1-page OSR system that got its start in the late 2000s. It was inspired by the single-line, barebones monster stat blocks of old school modules. If that's good enough for the monsters, why not for PCs too? So asks the expressly minimalist SotU, before going about offering an answer. It has dozens of hacks now, and I see the charm in it. So I decided to give it a shot too.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">To do that, I spent a day diving into the <a href="https://retroroleplaying.com/content/searchers-unknown-rpg-collection/">2012 SotU collection</a>. If there's a more recent edition, I couldn't find it, but even back then it offered plenty of hacks and version updates to study and compare. Most of the rules down below are tweaked or outright stolen from the various hacks found within.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The remaining rules are borrowed from D&D 4th Edition's skill challenge system, because there are no gods and no masters, and we must hasten entropy in all things.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The end result took a few turns away from the spirit of SotU, but then again that's the heart of hacking. It's a watered-down nomadic exploration flavor of game, somewhere in between my old <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2021/01/desolate-days-super-basic-feeble-goblin.html">Desolate Days</a> idea and some of the <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2022/06/mechanical-musings-couple-random-house.html">house rules</a> I've regurgitated in the past. It also works about as well for a cozy, nonviolent camping trip style of game. Go figure.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I did a much better job limiting myself to the right size this time than with previous 1-page projects. It still spills over a little bit in the original two-column Google Doc, but that doesn't matter so much here in Blogger because either the editor lacks the support for it, or I don't know the HTML sorcery to make it myself.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Sojourners of the Unknown</h3><h4 style="text-align: left;"><br /></h4><h4 style="text-align: left;">Concept</h4>Another SotU hack that turns the minimalism toward trailblazing and discovery. Your tribe/village/community is migrating after being driven from its home by marauding adventurers. You are scouts sent ahead of the caravan to find safe passage through unfamiliar lands.<br />Or if possible, find a new home.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h4 style="text-align: left;">Build a Sojourner</h4><span style="font-family: inherit;">PCs are not expert guides or hardened survivalists. They’re novices, apprentices, and surplus relatives. The only reason they’re out here instead of someone else is because the community could afford to let them go.</span><br />1) <b>Choose a Background.</b> Could be herder, tradesperson, musician, healer, etc. You receive +2 on all related checks.<br />2) <b>Choose Traveling Gear.</b> This gives your PC survival rate (SV) and movement rate (MV).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><table cellpadding="7" cellspacing="0" style="width: 320px;">
<colgroup><col width="202"></col>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="202"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Gear
Level</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="34"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">SV</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="41"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">MV</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="202"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Unencumbered</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="34"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">7</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="41"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">10</span></span></p>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Traveling
Light</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="34"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">8</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="41"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">9</span></span></p>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Always
Be Prepared</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="34"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">9</span></span></p>
</td>
<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="41"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">8</span></span></p>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">Complete
Packrat</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="34"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">10</span></span></p>
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<td style="border: 1.00pt solid #000000; padding: 0.07in;" width="41"><p style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">7</span></span></p>
</td>
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</tbody></table>You get a backpack, walking stick, waterskin, etc. regardless of gear level.<br />The party also gets 1 pony/wagon/travois/etc.<br />3) <b>Roll for Hardiness (or don’t).</b> Roll 1 hardiness die (HD) per level, or take half the die’s value. Do the same for all future HD.<br />4) <b>Finish up.</b> Choose a name, a 1-line description, and a 1-line background for your PC if you're feeling extra fancy.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Example:</b> <i>Nergui</i> (3HD SV 9 MV 8, househusband, apprentice shaman) <i>is a ruddy, reedy fellow in search of snacks for the village kids during his cheerful self-exile.</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h4 style="text-align: left;">Encounters</h4>Any discrete scenario that offers stiff resistance, like a perilous hike or a pack of angered animals, is an encounter.<br />You face an encounter by rolling checks. The referee determines how many successes an encounter requires to advance, and how many failures will thwart the party. Remember to fail forward and/or complicate victories.<br />The players are encouraged to get creative with checks, and the referee decides if their logic and applied bonuses fit the fiction.<br /><i>Example:</i> The party failed to avoid hostilities with a neighboring tribe, and decides to circumvent them by rafting down the nearby river. The referee decides 4 cumulative successes means they navigate without issue, while 3 failures whisk them far downriver, out of control on the strong current.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h4 style="text-align: left;">Exploration</h4>All checks are made by rolling 1d20 +½ level (rounded down) +other modifiers (background bonus, etc). A result of 20+ succeeds.<br /><b>Survival Checks:</b> Knowledge and grit. Treating an injury, following tracks, identifying (and surviving) poisonous plants, befriending strangers, etc. Roll +SV.<br /><b>Movement Checks:</b> Athletics and fine motor skills. Climbing, swimming, sneaking, avoiding mauling, etc. Roll +MV.<br /><b>Hazards:</b> Exploration is dangerous. Bad encounter outcomes deal 1HD to each PC from injury, stress, or loss of resources. Disastrous results deal 2HD. Certain dooms deal 4HD. PCs recover hardiness by setting camp and resting. PCs who run out of hardiness need to be brought back to the community for healing before they can rest.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Magic</h4><div style="text-align: left;">The occasional scroll, potion, wand or runed piece of tree bark bearing a magic spell can be found by the party while exploring.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Spell names imply their effects, the dimensions and details of which should be described by the players when they cast them.</div><div style="text-align: left;">A spell lasts 1 encounter and counts as 1 or 2 successes without needing to roll checks, depending on how cleverly the player uses and roleplays it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h4 style="text-align: left;">Experience</h4>The PCs’ community starts at level 1 with 0 XP. Each time the party reports back with new discoveries or resources to share, the community gains XP.<br />The community requires an additional 1000 XP multiplied by its current level to advance to the next level. There is no level limit.<br />The community gains 1000 XP per major discovery. Discoveries include finding a landmark, meeting another community, making alliances, recruiting new people, facing a new foe for the first time, etc.<br />The community also gains 1 XP per GP worth of supplies or treasure donated (i.e. not spent by the party or on the party).<br />When a community levels up the party shares in the benefits, gaining better rolls and another Hardiness die (or half its value). Every 3rd level the PCs each gain a new background, or improve an old one by +1.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">And now, for sure, wander on!</div>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-48000057270035957642023-07-27T12:35:00.000-04:002023-07-27T12:35:40.234-04:0010 Unpublished Manuscripts for your Failed Novelist (N)PCs<div>The study reeks of stale air, burnt coffee, and artistic self-loathing as you enter. Your eyes are slowly, inexorably drawn toward a nondescript binder on the desk. You know you shouldn't open it. Yet like the idiot protagonist of a cosmic horror story you are compelled to gaze upon that which is best left forgotten. Your eyes begin to roll back into your skull as you glance over the humbly bragging foreword. By the time you read the trite opening sentences, the maddening mediocrity has already consumed your soul.</div><div><br /></div><div>You should have listened.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div>1 <i>When's Okay to Say...?</i></div><div>Some people just shouldn't write children's books.</div><div><br /></div><div>A nameless child wanders through this watercolor picture book, encountering various relatives, friends, and pets throughout the day. The child obviously suffers from anxiety and may also be neurodivergent, but the disembodied voice of the narrator only ever calls them "selfish" or "rude" for expressing their worries to other people and in turn bumming them out. The narrator goes on to teach the child how to refrain from sharing too much.</div><div><br /></div><div>At first this works, and everyone's mood immediately improves. Every character, even the goldfish, expresses joy that the child isn't sad all the time now. Even the color palette becomes brighter and more pleasant to look at. But soon the child decides that they don't enjoy being "polite", and resume being honest with the people in their life.</div><div><br /></div><div>This causes some sort of cancerous growth to appear in the air above the child's head, which grows and pulsates the more they share. By the final pages of the book it has split open to reveal a crimson, Sauronic eye that leers down at the child for trying to do or say anything. The kid eventually faints while hiding under a laundry hamper with their teddy bear- which the book makes sure to point out is only the child's friend because it's completely inanimate and doesn't have a choice.</div><div><br /></div><div>"Lesson" finally learned, the child completely shuts down emotionally, and the eye shrivels up and disappears in time. The final spread depicts the whole cast joyfully embracing the child, who now has a pained smile fixed upon their face.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>2 <i>O, Mirthsome! O, Girthsome!</i></div><div>A questionably titled crypto-biography of the life, death, and ascension of Groesbeck the Carbunculous, a jovial god of consumption, infestation, and probiotics in an implied urban fantasy setting. Groesbeck begins the story as a lowly, put-upon fast food restaurant health inspector who is as unlucky as he is personally underwhelming. The first few chapters try to hammer this point home by showing all the ways he fails to find love, aspire in hobbies, or earn the respect of his coworkers.</div><div><br /></div><div>This barely changes after he falls prey to the parasites in an undercooked beefalo patty. He continues to act upbeat and undemanding, perhaps to the point of delusion, even as his body becomes a ravaged hive for the infestation. His body balloons until he is confined to his apartment, and through his own placid observations it is implied that the entire building has been condemned around him as a quarantine zone.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is at this point the parasites begin speaking to him, singing him praises and adulations for the first time in his life. They thank him for giving them life, but lament that they have so few siblings with which to play. Groesbeck takes to his new "children" quickly and tries to share their affection and positivity with the rest of the world, to less-than-stellar results.</div><div><br /></div><div>The remainder of the book covers these failed attempts to spread the joy, horrifying and putting to flight countless townsfolk and causing an epidemic in the process. The text attempts to treat his corpulence with a degree of body-positivity, but instead comes across as fetishistic and occasionally outright shaming. Groesbeck's speech takes to a strange poetic metre by this point, and he drops the title during one of his many bombastic soliloquys.</div><div><br /></div><div>The book ends when Groesbeck is rolled down a hill into a pit and lit on fire, but returns to life two weeks later to continue his great work at the head of an ever-growing wave of upbeat, infested converts. The final page-and-a-half is dedicated to the marching song they sing while washing like a tide over the tristate area.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tucked into the back of the manuscript is a copy of a C&D order from a litigious game company also known for its jovial and corpulent rot-monsters.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>3 <i>X Gaiden Rinne!</i></div><div>An anthological deconstruction of the <i>isekai</i> genre. It subverts the traditional escapist fantasy and wish-fulfillment tropes of the genre by couching its sequence of worlds and stories firmly within a tightly interconnected dharmic cosmology. Every protagonist is reborn where they are because of the karmic debts their past selves accrued, and their every action is of immense consequence for the incarnation that succeeds them.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oftentimes the protagonists (who are all sent there as a consequence of death, though none are traffic accidents) are reincarnated as denizens of the worlds their past selves cultivated. Some of these are karmic rewards, but just as many are awful revelations that the person has been reduced to NPC-levels of agency and must now endure the next visitor's whimsy; just as so many others had suffered their own time in the limelight.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ever-present throughout the anthology is an enigmatic Pure Land buddha who oversees the protagonists' struggles, failures, and lessons. The buddha fully reveals themself in the penultimate chapter to confront the one protagonist who rises to supervillainy in their utter refusal to let go of the power fantasy they feel entitled to. The resulting clash of hubris and wrathful aspect proves cataclysmic, and the closing chapter makes the ambitious attempt at conveying a sense of blissful <i>anatta</i> to the reader.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>4 <i>Boli</i></div><div>A historical fiction "romance novel" describing the mostly physical relationship between a pair of 16th century Maldivian cowry shell divers. The story's prose, initially purple and flowery, grows increasingly stilted, jarring, and lurid as the author moves on to more and more bizarre, esoteric, or just plain immature euphemisms for sexual acts and body parts in an attempt to keep things fresh.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is constantly contrasted, sometimes to the point of tonal whiplash, with a remarkably well-researched and in-depth analysis of the power structures and systems of oppression of the Portuguese-colonized Indian Ocean and the human toll that the cowry industry takes. As the divers' world falls apart around them, they throw themselves at one another with increasing desperation.</div><div><br /></div><div>At about the midpoint of the story, a vague sense of magic realism rises up from background dormancy. The cowries and their shells gain voices of their own, which they use to snark at one another or make observations on the divers like some kind of molluscan Greek chorus. None of their wisdom or dating advice is heeded however, and the situation continues to deteriorate until the divers have to flee their homes and the authorities.</div><div><br /></div><div>By the final chapter, the story's language reaches a fever pitch as the couple, their boat, and the entire exploitative cowry industry merge together into a many-limbed pataphorical orgy that then pleasantly sinks into obscurity beneath the waves of the Indian Ocean.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>5 <i>The Lay of the Cantankerous Hrütlander</i></div><div>Despite being called a lay, this story is not a lyrical poem told in octosyllabic couplets. It is in fact a turgid, 400-page long sword & sandals adventure novel about the eponymous Hrütlander, a towering embodiment of hypermasculinity and sullen demeanor in the lands of the Far Nørthe. He journeys down from the mountains of Hrütli-lejr, tasked by the gods to act as kingmaker for two warring clans; the Rittugids led by Chief Rittu and the Chegguderi led by Chief Klegga Cheg (or perhaps Chegga Kleg; the text flipflops on his name constantly).</div><div><br /></div><div>Apparently "kingmaker" in this world means that the Hrütlander has moral license to betray anyone and switch sides in the conflict at a whim, which he does often and at the slightest perceived insult. The plot and the world as a whole eke out an existence in the margins between long, self-indulgent scenes of Iron Age warfare made all the more bloody by the Hrütlander wielding his highly impractical, ahistorical <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atgeir">atgeir</a> topped with nine blades.</div><div><br /></div><div>The world itself is a fictionalized mythic Scandinavia, written with about as much nuance and understanding of the source material as you might expect from a high school metalhead who plays far too much Skyrim. The land is cold and inhospitable except by the tribes of barbarians who grow huge, muscular and/or buxom on nothing but beef and ale that they seem to have an inexhaustible supply of. The Rittugids and Chegguderi are introduced as being irreconcilably different from one another, but the only differences that come through in the text are their hair color (blonde and brunette in contrast with the Hrütlander's "glowering red"), and which side of the body they start on when sacrificing a living person to their god Wōdyn.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the climax of the story, the much-anticipated three-way (battle) between Rittu, Chegga/Klegga, and the Hrütlander is unexpectedly cut short by the appearance of a sorceress who reveals herself to be an ale-wench whom the Hrütlander previously tried and failed to bed. She kills the chieftains and hurls the Hrütlander into a tear in the spacetime continuum, sending him back to the early Jurassic Period where he promptly falls into the middle of a savage territorial fight between dinosaurs that had no business being in the same time and place as one another.</div><div><br /></div><div>The closing text boldly proclaims that the story will be continued in the sequel, <i>Gondwanalandmansaga: The Saga of the Man from Gondwanaland</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>6 <i>Maul Punx</i></div><div>A so-called "dystopian suburb punk toxo-romance" set in the distant year of 199Y, in an alternate reality that split off of our own when the cult classic 1989 teen dark comedy <i>Heathers</i> was directed by Stanley Kubrick as originally intended by the writer. The film stayed as niche as the original, and the world at large remains almost identical to our own. The major difference is that this timeline divergence inspired a subculture of especially disaffected suburban youths.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not content to passively criticize the world around them, a coalition of Midwestern punks, goths, and a few nerds begins an uprising in which they burn down several McMansions and a car dealership before invading and fortifying a mall to repulse the authorities. This course of action becomes almost immediately the correct choice when an overworked lab assistant at a nearby military base accidentally unleashes a bioweapon that turns the majority of the town into zombies.</div><div><br /></div><div>What ensues is a mix between awkward romance as two youths (a trad goth with an interest in taxidermy and the bassist for an experimental emo-shoegaze band) take a liking to one another, action-horror as the undead besiege the mall, and a rather unsubtle critique of American consumerism- the zombies all moan "maaall" instead of "braaaiiins", among other hints.</div><div><br /></div><div>The couple turns out to be an unhealthy fit for one another, with jealousy and codependency quickly taking root between them. Still, they decide to stick it out together through the siege, frequently speaking the cynical adage that they're "better off dead (together)". Ironically, they end up being the few left entirely unscathed when they fall back to the roof of the mall under the unrelenting zombie assault.</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually it is revealed that the zombies are weak to loud music, which the youths take advantage of until exploded undead heads have painted the majority of the parking lot. They also get a radio antenna working on the roof, which allows them to discover that uprisings similar to theirs occurred all across the Midwest at around the same time. The mall survivors pass on the secret to countering the outbreak, and the dawn rises on a very odd new world.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>7 <i>Reorigination</i></div><div>The novelization of a screenplay that was dubbed simultaneously too technically difficult, visually boring, and audience-alienating in premise to perform. It follows a pair of advanced, cephalopod aliens bound to their life support shuttles as they float in high orbit above a backwater planet and ruminate on the extinction of their entire species. One, a historian named the Preserver, laments the folly and hubris of their people. The other, a bioengineer named the Caretaker, tries to devise a way to save the species from death and genetic bottlenecking.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>The Caretaker eventually hypothesizes that they could insert their DNA into the genome of one of the modified and accelerated subject species on the planet below, essentially hijacking them and creating a new hybrid designed to replace the originals. The Preserver balks at this idea, citing how their systems-spanning empire fell apart precisely because they wouldn't stop meddling in the development of other species. They say that they <i>deserve</i> to die out as a warning to others if they will not stop repeating history like this. The Caretaker counters that they can still learn from their mistakes as long as they're not all dead, and that the loss of all their accumulated wisdom would be a tragedy for the whole galaxy.</div><div><br /></div><div>What follows is a long, increasingly bitter philosophical debate over free will, ethics, and the burden of knowledge. Eventually the disagreement comes to a head and the two aliens fire their shuttles' weapons at one another. One of the ships is fatally damaged and its life support shuts down after some remorseful parting words; the other stays intact enough to putter down to the planet's surface.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is left deliberately unclear which of the aliens survived; either the Caretaker violated their oath to protect and cultivate life by killing their fellow and taking advantage of their own charges, or the Preserver was ironically the one who ultimately consigned their species to history before trying to create a lasting warning for other sapient species.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>8 <i>Omnilect</i></div><div>Presented as a found diary with occasional margin notes from the "finder" character, this alternatively uncomfortable and outright goofy book details an anonymous linguist's spiral into mental illness and a paranoid world of conspiracy theories.</div><div><br /></div><div>The linguist was recently kicked out of their university for a series of violent outbursts, as well as their increasingly vehement belief in a Tower of Babel-esque theory of the origin of human language. To prove this theory correct and unearth the supposed global conspiracy threatening it, the linguist goes on a globetrotting academic tour despite barely having enough money to feed themself with.</div><div><br /></div><div>According to their theory, the original human language was split into all existing language families by some cataclysmic event in prehistory. Mankind's destiny can only be reclaimed by reconstructing this ur-language. This must be done by purging all of the false words from the world and finding the "true words" hidden in every language; approximately 1 word per lect. As an example, the true word of the modern French language is "peste" in the sense of a bratty child, and absolutely every other part of the language can and should be thrown out, excluding cognates or loanwords now "owned" by other languages. There are as many exceptions as there are rules to this theoretical language, and the linguist often interrupts the flow of the story to explain them at length.</div><div><br /></div><div>The linguist's pet theories and other eccentricities often put them at odds with the other people in their travels. They constantly alienate themselves from others while making little if any progress in their search, leading to a worsening mental crisis and more than one physical altercation for extremely specific reasons. One dispute escalates into a fistfight with a group of Neo-Nazis for their "crypto-Saxon revanchism" (rather than because they're, you know, <i>Nazis</i>). Another scuffle nearly gets the linguist hit by an irate New York taxi driver for insisting that dumplings be called farts, from French <i>farce</i> for stuffing. Toward the end of their journey, another incident involves the linguist ineffectually slapping people with a karakul cap at the Al-Salam Festival in Australia until they were arrested and escorted off the premises, ranting all the while about the "Idiqutic erasure" they saw in modern definitions of the word Uyghur.</div><div><br /></div><div>Somehow, the linguist never catches a criminal charge.</div><div><br /></div><div>The linguist eventually decides that the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seima-Turbino_phenomenon">Seima-Turbino Phenomenon</a> must in some way be the key to proving their theory. They illegally cross several national borders through Eurasia, before finally pausing to rest in a hidden camp in the Altai Mountains on the Sino-Russian border. The linguist believes they are being hunted by one or both governments for the knowledge they possess, and the diary ends as they resolve to seal it in a waterproof container and plunge it into a nearby lake to retrieve later.</div><div><br /></div><div>The epilogue shifts point of view and describes how the diary and the abandoned remains of the linguist's camp were found by an equally anonymous hiker. The hiker guesses that the camp is decades old by the time they finally find them, and doubts that the linguist got what they were searching for. The hiker proves unusually adept at decoding the diary, which is revealed to have been written entirely in the linguist's own neo-Babelian conlang, which consists of a grab-bag of vocabulary from thousands of languages living and dead, all awkwardly stitched together on top of a grammar that vaguely resembles Esperanto.</div><div><br /></div><div>The hiker debates destroying the diary, and remarks upon how strangely prescient the linguist was at times, before going home and sitting down for a plate of mutton farts.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>9 <i>Huginn, Where's Your Muninn?</i></div><div>Another children's book, less reprehensible in premise. Huginn & Muninn, the pair of ravens who fly across the world acting as spies for Old Norse mythology's Odin, have become separated. This is bad news for the little birds, because they rely upon one another to be a single functioning unit. Huginn (whose name means "thought") has all the smarts, but it's Muninn ("memory") who remembers everything.</div><div><br /></div><div>The reader guides a clever but easily disoriented Huginn through several locations in the Scandinavian cosmology, helping them solve challenges that range from riddles and logic puzzles to fully articulated pop-out games. Surprisingly mythically-accurate portrayals of various saga stories can be seen playing out in the background of each page as the reader goes along, though Huginn is comically oblivious to them.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ultimately, Huginn and Muninn are reunited after they find the latter trapped in a rather easily unlocked birdcage right outside Fensalir. Apparently they were pranked by one of Freyja's bored cats while the Vanr was visiting Frigg for brunch. The ravens embrace, thank the reader for their help, and then take wing together to tell Odin all that they've learned.</div><div><br /></div><div>The book still hasn't found a publisher, despite its admitted charm. The most commonly cited reason in rejection letters is content deemed inappropriate for children. It probably has something to do with that one background illustration with Loki and the horse.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>10 <i>Substition</i></div><div>A "sub-supernatural thriller" detailing one government agent's very bad day.</div><div><br /></div><div>The story opens with our protagonist, Agent Tomris, sitting at her dinner table on a drunken Thursday night with the muzzle of her pistol tickling at her soft palate. As Tomris mentally prepares to repaint the apartment walls and ceiling in Reptilian Brain 117, her life flashes before her eyes. These memory vignettes form the bulk of the story.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tomris became obsessed with the supernatural early in life, and chased any avenue by which she could prove it real. This hunt became increasingly more desperate the older she got, as more and more magicians and occult traditions failed to deliver. Eventually she was on the cusp of giving up hope, when she found the Agency.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Agency of Paranormal Research & Development is a secret department of the United States government, founded shortly after the end of the Second World War when it was discovered that the Germans and Soviets had similar programs. Emphasis 'had'; one was disbanded soon after the war for lack of progress, while the other was lost in a shipwreck on route to Argentina.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Agency is also a colossal failure by all metrics, barely kept on life support by its shoestring budget and the efforts of overworked agents. It is forgotten and overlooked as much as it is secret. But Tomris joined the Agency's ranks anyway, to get closer to the supernatural.</div><div><br /></div><div>There, she learned the greatest and most terrible truth of her entire life: the supernatural was extremely real- and also extremely <i>boring</i>. After nearly a century of research conducted across the globe, dozens of examples of paranormal activity were known to and even housed by the Agency. But most specimens are frustratingly unimpressive, and their underlying rules and explanations remained elusive.</div><div><br /></div><div>For example, one of the first objects new agents are introduced to is the first to be discovered by the Agency: the Orb. The Orb is a seemingly plain sphere of tin 27.8cm in diameter, seated on a table in what has since become someone's office after the department went through another facility downsizing. The Orb is completely ordinary in all parameters, except that it weighs ~12% less than it should. Its composition and physics have been rigorously tested, but no light has been shed on why. It's... just a slightly light ball of metal.</div><div><br /></div><div>Other impossibilities prove to be equally unimpressive: a stone coin that, when flipped, seems to accurately answer and even predict any Yes/No question related to someone's shoe insoles; a man from Milwaukee who can spontaneously generate over 15 liters of water from nowhere but only by sweating it out during moments of extreme stress, discovered because he was an acapella performer with stage fright; a corgi who cast no shadow so long as no one was looking at him (Mr. The Pippers was more of a beloved office pet than anything, and died of old age decades before Tomris's arrival), etc. Their natures are impenetrable, and their applications are useless, especially to a shadowy board of directors who would rather can the whole project already.</div><div><br /></div><div>While the work is gratifying at first, the crushing reality of the situation (plus the long hours and lousy pay) start to take their toll on Tomris. She begins to question her entire life. So what if the paranormal is real, if all it is is <i>this?</i> What's the point? Why would the universe suck all the <i>magic</i> out of magic? This depression, combined with a B-plot about her caustic, estranged family, eventually brings Tomris to her dinner table with gun in hand.</div><div><br /></div><div>The narrative snaps back to the present just as she begins to squeeze the trigger. But the positioning of the gun triggers her gag reflex, causing her to pull the gun out at the last moment. She survives, and the bullet only grazes her upper lip. A moment later, she receives a phone call from the Agency: a recently exposed cult might actually be onto something.</div><div><br /></div><div>The point of view then abruptly shifts to that of a nameless six year-old girl who is being held captive by the so-called Order of the Grey-Litten Ingress, a millennialist cult dedicated to a being, energy, or concept (or all of the above at once) referred to as "Abiding in Silence". She and another two-dozen people of varying ages and backgrounds were kidnapped by the Order, and are slated to be sacrificed to pave their way into the next world.</div><div><br /></div><div>The cult leader is interviewing each of the sacrifices before the ritual, and takes a keen interest in the girl's sharp tongue and wit. They engage in verbal sparring, debating the nature of knowledge, the question of salvation, and whether or not the cult's patron even exists. Slowly, the girl gains the upper hand on the cult leader. By the time the Agency is knocking down the doors to the cult's compound (after a lengthy delay spent squabbling with local law enforcement over jurisdiction), he is reduced to a catatonic wreck endlessly lamenting that 'magic is dead'.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the final chapter the PoV switches back to Agent Tomris. The disorganized cult is subdued, nothing unnatural has a chance to happen, and all hostages are recovered- with the exception of the girl, who takes off into a nearby wetland upon the Agency's arrival. Tomris pursues her and gets lost for what feels like hours. She finally finds and tries to coax the girl back, saying they can reunite her with her family. The girl gives Tomris a smirk, then viscerally merges with a nearby mangrove tree, which proceeds to stand up and crabwalk its way deeper into the swamp.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tomris finds herself back at the compound with another agent snapping their fingers in her face, saying that she had "zoned out" for a minute there. Disturbed but exhilarated, she contemplates what this encounter might mean as she changes the bandage on her lip.</div>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-60360449376833933702023-07-09T13:29:00.000-04:002023-07-09T13:29:11.799-04:00RBL Interviews: Hlao of Irrib, Coherent Shambler Disease Patient<p>[Preface: Hlao is a resident of the greater Irrib area, centered on the Western Branch of the lower River Khesh. He has been afflicted with <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2017/07/excerpts-concerning-nature-and.html">Coherent Shambler Disease (CSD)</a> for approximately twelve years, and is the longest-living known CSD patient by far. CSD, known by many colorful names, is a little-understood disease that attacks the nervous system of humans and, allegedly, certain ungulates. It is characterized by loss of bodily control from the neck muscles down, and a tendency toward lapsing into extended periods of low energy or borderline-catatonia when not in proximity to other humans unaffected by CSD. When in proximity to uninfected humans, a sufferer of CSD tends to violently lash out with lethal force, albeit not intent. The subject remains in full control of their mental faculties, but cannot exert physical control over their own body except to breathe, speak, blink, etc. The ultimate cause or vector for the spread of CSD is unknown. Theories include parasites, airborne toxins, emotional trauma, and even divine punishment. People with CSD tend to be killed immediately after their illness manifests, either in self-defense by their would-be victims or as a precaution by local authorities. That Hlao has been kept reasonably safe and healthy without any major incidents for more than a decade is very rare.</p><p>Hlao lives in a repurposed farmhouse located on a cousin's property. He is in his late thirties. He has short, messy hair beginning to grey at the roots. He is secured at one end of the room in a large, padded chair equipped with about a dozen reinforced leather straps to detain him. The only part of his body that is free is his head, which swivels and bobs slightly from years of slow neurological deterioration. As I enter the room his head snaps upright and his feet begin to kick. His fingernails have been freshly cut and filed, but the deep grooves dug into the armrests beneath his hands indicate that he is not always so well-manicured. His wiry muscles tense and strain hard enough beneath his long tunic that I fear he'll rip a tendon, but his gaze is clear, bright, and peaceful. He offers a cautious smile my way, but quickly averts his gaze and looks into an empty corner. I sit down at a stool placed close to the opposite wall away from him. His handler, apparently a friend, reminds him that they will be right outside, and takes their leave. We hold our conversation in raised voices to account for the distance between.]</p><p>RBL: Thank you again for reconsidering my request, <i>doh</i>¹ Hlao.</p><p>Hlao: I rebuffed you in haste the first time, doh Litte. I'm sorry for that. I assumed that anyone who wanted an interview with me would be like the last one who did.</p><p>RBL: I assure you I am not here for anything outside of your consent and comfort. I take the ethical strictures of my training very seriously. I simply wish to know more about you; not your condition. Besides, I have not paid off any of the town magistrates in order to see you.</p><p>Hlao: That last part is the most reassuring. Thank you.</p><p>RBL: Out of curiosity, who was this last person to "interview" you? I may have the means to file an official complaint about any misconduct on your behalf, if you so wish.</p><p>Hlao: To be honest, I don't remember him very well. I tried not to remember him or the examination for a long time, and eventually it worked. He's sort of a... pale, ghostly blur. I do remember he was from Serminwurth, or at least said he was. His name was M-something. Maren or Murzin or something like that.</p><p>RBL: ... Ah.</p><p>Hlao: Ah? Ah what? You know him?</p><p>[Hlao leans his head forward with sudden interest, his chair gently squeaks as he animates more]</p><p>RBL: I know of whom you speak. He is no longer a licensed practitioner of, well, anything.</p><p>Hlao: Well, that's good to hear. I hope he landed in a poorhouse.</p><p>RBL: He continued to study CSD for some time before he... ran afoul of certain ethical constraints. Last I heard, he <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2017/08/mersind-of-serminwurth-selectsalvaged.html">floated down the Khesh and disappeared</a>.</p><p>Hlao: Good. Drop-heads take him and keep him, I say.²</p><p>RBL: Er... quite. Now, may we begin the interview? I just have a few questions I wish to touch on.</p><p>Hlao: Sure, sure.</p><p>RBL: Please introduce yourself, in as many or as few words as you like.</p><p>[Hlao pauses at length, head gently lolling from side to side until he speaks]</p><p>Hlao: My name is Hlao. My village doesn't have a name, but it lies close enough to the town of Irrib on the Western Branch, that many of us tell outsiders we are from there. So I am Hlao of Irrib. I come from a family of farmers. They farm riverbed gourds. I used to farm with them too, but stopped when I became sick twelve years ago. I have one brother and four sisters. My siblings' children are learning how to read.</p><p>[Hlao straightens up in his seat to say that last part with some proud emphasis. It is the first time he has held eye contact so far]</p><p>RBL: That is wonderful to hear. Have they read anything by Tirti Naorut?</p><p>[Hlao grins in surprise]</p><p>Hlao: She is the littlest one's favorite. She says she wants to go to Nambar to prove the fairytales are real.</p><p>RBL: Oh, I remember feeling the same way... Now, could you describe a typical day in your life?</p><p>Hlao: I sleep in a special bed that is made to restrain me, so that I cannot hurt anyone or myself. It was made by one of the woodworkers in my village. It is one of a kind. I have a few chairs that I can sit in, too, but they are not as special. They are like this one here; repurposed from surgeons' or torturers' chairs- if there is any difference between the two. They are not as comfortable as the bed.</p><p>Anyway... I usually wake at dawn. Even in my sleep, I can hear other people getting up and moving around. I don't go to sleep around other people. My friends and relatives—my handlers—help me move to a chair and feed me breakfast. Sometimes they use a long spoon made from a broom handle to give me food, but that is only if my body is feisty that morning. Most mornings I am behaved, so they can feed me by hand. Everyone who knows about me, associates me with the giant spoon, though.</p><p>[Hlao laughs ruefully]</p><p>Hlao: Washing and dressing are still difficult. But we are leaving those out here.</p><p>RBL: Of course.</p><p>Hlao: Later in the morning, if the weather is not too bad, they will take me outside. I can walk with bound arms, and my legs will not cause too much trouble. Not anymore. I like to go for walks. So they tether me with ropes, and someone will walk where I've asked to go, and my body will try to chase them down. It keeps me exercised. And we all enjoy it- as long as the person in front of me is faster.</p><p>I spend most of my time at home, though. I don't really go places. I like to listen to stories while I sit. Stories or music. Anything that passes the time. But my handlers have to leave me alone in my room often, to give my body a chance to stop tensing up and fighting my restraints. When they do that, I close my eyes and... imagine things. Cities, languages, worlds. I imagine myself out there, experiencing them. Sometimes I can even wiggle my toes.</p><p>[Hlao looks down to indicate his sandal-clad feet, which are still making the same impotent kicking motions toward me as before]</p><p>RBL: What sorts of worlds and languages do you imagine?</p><p>Hlao: Why do you ask?</p><p>RBL: That sounds fascinating to me.</p><p>Hlao: Pssh. It does not.</p><p>RBL: I would not be out here if I did not value places and peoples, and the words they speak.</p><p>Hlao: Mmh... you know how they say that magic is like a sea?</p><p>RBL: Yes, that's one theory I'm familiar with. A <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2017/08/magic-in-world.html">metaphorical ocean</a> of spiritual essence with the occasional godhead rising out of it like an island.</p><p>Hlao: It is like that, but... much more. I am there, standing on the "water", or sometimes swimming in it. I see the land rise up out of nothingness like the bobbing islands from Nambarish sailor tales. I sink my hands into the loamy ether and then rise up with it, into the sky. Into creation. I am there to see the first fires flare up and be quenched. The first to hear the burbling pits that stew with life. I stand like a stone, or drift like a cloud, and watch the world move around me. Sometimes it is like our world- sometimes it <i>is</i> our world, and I can walk it differently.</p><p>But other times I fill it with my dreams and nightmares. The words they speak, too. The screams and songs and profanity that they use every day, until one day no more mouths are left to speak them. I wander the emptiness afterward, and dwell on what has ended that never even existed. And then when everything else has crumbled away, the world sinks back down into the sea and only I am left.</p><p>RBL: ... You might want to consider having these imaginings written down.</p><p>Hlao: Why?</p><p>RBL: It would make a good story for people to read. Your niece, perhaps?</p><p>[Hlao scoffs initially, then stops to think]</p><p>Hlao: ... Hmm. I would need to trust someone with my private thoughts. Or learn how to write more than my signature with my teeth.</p><p>RBL: Did you not just trust me a moment ago?</p><p>Hlao: But that was... well, you are more... hmm. I will think about it.</p><p>[Hlao fidgets more than usual]</p><p>RBL: Shall we move on?</p><p>Hlao: Please.</p><p>RBL: Where do you usually hear stories or music from?</p><p>Hlao: My handlers, and other people who visit.</p><p>RBL: Tell me a little about these visits.</p><p>Hlao: Sometimes people visit me. Most of them are people from Irrib or beyond, who come to watch and study me. I don't like them. But they sometimes bring gifts and food that my friends and I need. They can't look after me for free. So I put on a friendly face and tolerate them. I almost broke loose once. That scared them off. It was funny.</p><p>[Hlao smiles impishly]</p><p>I like it when my family visits me. I may see them every few months. They tell me how the farm is going, and how the children are growing. I hope that someday my little niece will visit to read me some of her stories. Her mother won't let her, though. She is afraid of me. She... when I first got sick, I almost strangled her husband—my brother—to death, right in front of her in their bed. I don't blame her, though. Maybe in a few more years. My brother forgave me. He visits me the most. </p><p>RBL: Tell me about your brother.</p><p>Hlao: He is set to leave and start working his own stretch of riverbank with his branch of the family in a few years. Our parents' farm passed to our eldest sister some years ago, and he has been saving up and doing favors ever since. So many families split their plots up smaller and smaller between siblings over the generations here, until you have barely enough land to feed yourself with and your second and third cousins don't even know you. Then one of the rich city people come around and offer to pay you half of what your land is worth, so you can leave to go and work for them on their tax-farms for even less. But he doesn't want that for us.</p><p>RBL: That sounds rather noble of him.</p><p>Hlao: I would go and help him if I could.</p><p>RBL: That sounds rather noble of you, too.</p><p>Hlao: Pfft. I just want out of this chair.</p><p>[Hlao and RBL both laugh. Hlao clears his throat and licks his lips]</p><p>Hlao: ... Doh Litte. A favor of you?</p><p>RBL: Yes?</p><p>[Hlao lolls his head in the direction of a nearby pitcher of water sitting on a table]</p><p>Hlao: I need a drink.</p><p>RBL: ... Oh! Of course.</p><p>[RBL pauses his live recording here]</p><p>[RBL set his notes down and crossed the room to the table. He found a small wooden cup to fill with water, then approached Hlao. Hlao's hands and feet tensed more than usual, curling violently as the proximity of another living person sent impulses through his body. Hlao just kept his eye on the water. RBL hesitated momentarily, then leaned in and tipped the cup to Hlao's lips. Hlao drank in loud, draining gulps that emptied the vessel in a few seconds. He belched, and nodded appreciatively at RBL]</p><p>RBL: Oh, erm...</p><p>[RBL produced a handkerchief and gingerly dabbed away the water that dribbled down Hlao's chin.</p><p>Hlao: What a gentleman.</p><p>[Hlao chuckled]</p><p>RBL: You are uh, welcome.</p><p>[RBL returned to his seat. Hlao's body relaxed somewhat]</p><p>[RBL resumes his live recording here]</p><p>RBL: Tell me about your friends? Forgive me, I just sort of took their presence for granted until now.</p><p>Hlao: The people who act as my handlers? They were old acquaintances from before I first got sick, but they became real friends after the fact. They renovated this house for me, and take shifts keeping me company. They're decent. They don't fake smiles around me. I appreciate that. One of them is a cousin we never lost touch with. The other three are old drinking buddies. We don't drink together anymore, though- my body fights the beer.</p><p>RBL: How so?</p><p>Hlao: I don't know. It's like it knows what drink does to it- dulls its reflexes and makes it less able to attack someone. I went sober after the first year when I kept popping loops in my chair to fight off a <i>kurshaz</i>³ of beer.</p><p>RBL: Do you miss alcohol?</p><p>Hlao: It was bad, the first few months. But it was bad for a lot of other reasons, too. Not so much now. I switched to tea.</p><p>RBL: I am sorry to hear that.</p><p>Hlao: Which part? The trouble, or the tea?</p><p>RBL: ... Yes.</p><p>[Hlao snorts]</p><p>RBL: What other creature comforts do you enjoy?</p><p>Hlao: After the harvest season ends and the river branches reflood, people here do everything they can with their gourds. Make bottles, ferment the greens, dry the flesh for later, whatever works. But I like the seeds, roasted. Go to Irrib during the festival and try some for yourself- but make sure they don't use too much salt and oil. That drowns and ruins all the flavor in them, mmh?</p><p>[Hlao inclines his head at RBL with the gravest of expectations. RBL nods solemnly]</p><p>RBL: Light on the oil and salt.</p><p>[Hlao nods, his head bobbing and drifting hard to one side. He stares off into space for several moments, then drifts back]</p><p>Hlao: May we finish soon? I am getting tired.</p><p>RBL: Oh, of course! Forgive me, we can stop now if you would prefer.</p><p>Hlao: No, no. I can finish.</p><p>RBL: Very well... Let me see. Ah, yes. I think this will do. What is something you aspire to? Is there a particular dream of yours that you hope will come true?</p><p>[Hlao dwells on this question at length]</p><p>Hlao: I have been told that we do not attack other people who are sick. Do you know if that is true?</p><p>RBL: Hmm... Yes, I believe so. In all the literature on the disease that I have read, none has ever suggested or shown evidence that infectees react aggressively to one another's presence. That is part of why infections in isolated areas can come as such a sudden surprise.</p><p>Hlao: I would like to meet another like me someday, then. And I would like to spend time with them. Even if we just stood still with nothing to talk about... I just want to be in another's presence where we aren't a danger for once. I would like that very much.</p><p>RBL: Of course. I... I will make sure your words are heard.⁴</p><p>Hlao: Thank you, doh Litte. I thought you were odd when you approached us. And you are- but you are also an enjoyable visit.</p><p>RBL: That is my single greatest aspiration in life.</p><p>[Hlao laughs again]</p><p>RBL: Before we finish this, are there any parting words that you would wish to share?</p><p>Hlao: You mean something I want to tell your readers?</p><p>RBL: Yes, I suppose I do mean that- all four of them.</p><p>[RBL laughs weakly, then clears his throat]</p><p>Hlao: Be good to your family, whether it's the one you're from or one you find yourself in. They might be the ones holding your spoon someday.</p><p>RBL: Thank you, doh Hlao.</p><p>[Live transcription ends here]</p><p><br /></p><p>¹ An informal honorific commonly used in and around the alluvial plain on the western bank of the lower River Khesh. Comparable to "mister" or "boss".</p><p>² I chose not to confront my interviewee on this issue because I am his guest and he has already been a surpassingly gracious host. Additionally, I did not want to jeopardize the project by breaking from the interview to lecture him. But it should still be stated somewhere that the <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2018/10/raft-people-of-river-khesh.html">Sayaula</a> do not appreciate any of the epithets derived from their cranial shape, and I believe their use should be discouraged.</p><p>³ A vessel and associated colloquial unit of measure roughly equal to half a liter. Literally a "thin one".</p><p>⁴ I should not get his hopes up with promises to seek out another patient. I have no idea what sort of hurdles this would require, if it is even possible.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-23744828979596742382023-07-03T07:53:00.000-04:002023-07-03T07:53:30.603-04:003E OdditE: Urban Druid (Dragon Compendium, 2005)<p>Click <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2022/12/3e-oddite-archive.html">here</a> to return to the OdditE archive.</p><p><br /></p><p>This series won't have very many class variants in it. There were just so many, and most of them change very little about their base classes. Which is perfectly fine for narrowing down the type of character you want, but it's not so much to write about unless I wanted to compile a list of them. Which I don't.</p><p>The Urban Druid is one big exception to that rule.</p><p>I only recently looked at this class for the first time precisely because of all the other variants and ACFs floating around out there. For the longest time I automatically assumed that the Urban Druid was just another one of those minor tweaks from <i>Unearthed Arcana</i> like the Whirling Frenzy Barbarian or the Thug Fighter- one or two modified class abilities to fit a slightly different take on things.</p><p>But when I stumbled across it while browsing dndtools, I learned that I was very wrong. The Urban Druid by James Jacobs is from <i>Dragon</i> #317 (later reprinted in <i>Dragon Compendium</i>) rather than UA, first of all. Second, instead of being a normal variant it's a complete overhaul of the Druid class that alters just about every single class feature in service of its new theme.</p><p><i>And</i> it does that while still being nifty!</p><p><br /></p><h3 style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://srd.dndtools.org/srd/classes/baseDc/urbanDruid.html">The Urban Druid</a></h3><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYxtLuYfMXQlJ_DPSUUoB-blnKytfh7_wG-5cBxrhIWUwQ37ahX9hzE1xaIYOVOZLymuASLvwajSbhOGPBwxqe70WysIBiVgiN4WS-O514JaNPAMI75ZtcZP4QOAHCv7TsR1u5-A0pRb7k7LRzl8u_qYOGuLyT0hthsyvN-g003i5cUrjvtCAwwhExTtI/s1629/Urban%20Druid.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1629" data-original-width="1165" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYxtLuYfMXQlJ_DPSUUoB-blnKytfh7_wG-5cBxrhIWUwQ37ahX9hzE1xaIYOVOZLymuASLvwajSbhOGPBwxqe70WysIBiVgiN4WS-O514JaNPAMI75ZtcZP4QOAHCv7TsR1u5-A0pRb7k7LRzl8u_qYOGuLyT0hthsyvN-g003i5cUrjvtCAwwhExTtI/w286-h400/Urban%20Druid.png" width="286" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm surprised that Paizo link still works.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p style="text-align: left;">The Urban Druid is divorced from other druids despite sharing a fundamental principle with them. Whereas other druids value natural life, often favoring different manifestations of it like forests or oceans or what have you, urban druids see each city as not only a valid environment alongside all others, but as a single living organism unto itself. Civilization is opposed to nature, sure, but in the same way two neighboring biomes are opposed. A desert can swallow up grassland or a forest can dry up and expand over a bog, but one isn't inherently an enemy to the other.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The idealistic urban druid feels the same way about the city's place in nature. They may be opposed, but they need not be in constant <i>conflict</i> with one another. These manifestations of civilization deserve the same sort of guardianship as a grove of trees might receive, and that is where the urban druid comes in.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The mechanical differences are immediately apparent, starting with the equipment and skill list.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Much like a rogue, urban druids can equip rapiers, saps, crossbows, and short swords alongside druidic mainstays like the club and quarterstaff. They favor discreet weapons that don't draw attention or cause a panic in crowded city streets that may or may not have open carry laws.</p><p style="text-align: left;">They are limited to padded, leather, and studded leather armor, though notably they do <i>not</i> have a religious or supernatural limit on what kinds of material their weapons and armor are made from. Thus an urban druid can wear any suit of armor whose Armor Check penalty can be brought down to -0, even if the text says they should only have armor under +4 bonus as a possibility (which is the first time I've ever seen gear proficiency gated expressly by number bonuses). Rock that mithral chain shirt, you miracle-hobo.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Urban druids gain a slew of socials skills to add to this faint whiff of rogue, like bluff, gather information, knowledge ( local), perform, and sense motive. They also lose their more nature-oriented skills like animal handling, knowledge (nature), etc. Personally I find the loss of spot and listen greatly lamentable, but the change was intended to make the urban druid more of a face character, and it accomplishes that- especially considering how important Charisma is to the urban druid.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Urban druids us Charisma as their casting stat instead of Wisdom. They get a whole new spell list that heavily features utility, crowd control, a little bit of charm and enchantment, and interacting with objects and constructs in a variety of ways. The list includes a few new spells, like Susurrus of the City, which allows you to ask questions of an empty building like it's a genius loci. That's what the big ol' brick face up at the top of the post represents.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The spell list also gets Repair Damage at every level, which was brand-new at the time of Urban Druid's original publication. Fortunately, they don't replace Cure Wounds spells. Urban Druids can also cast Repair spells spontaneously, replacing the base druid's Summon Nature's Ally ability. It's less powerful by far, but there are only so many places in a city you could pull a rhinoceros out of. Spontaneous Repair spells could be terrific if you and/or the party are Warforged, though.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The other thing thematically separating Urban Druids' magic from their more natural counterparts is where they receive their spells from. Normal druids receive their magic from nature, which bestows it upon them much the same way deities give clerics their spells. Urban Druids, meanwhile, gain their power by tapping into the spirit of a city. This living creature of streets and rooftops is a gestalt of all its citizens' hopes, fears, and dreams; a divinity of mortals' own collaborative creation that might not be conscious, but certainly isn't lacking in purpose.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I want so much more content delving into this concept. It's like an amped-up version of Shivers from Disco Elysium, or if the city of Revachol herself was a distant goddess.</p><p style="text-align: left;">From here, Urban Druid (UD from now on) class abilities can be divided into two categories; tweaks to base druid abilities, and full replacements for them. In the first camp we have <b>City Sense</b>, <b>Disease Immunity</b>, <b>Favored City</b>, <b>Urban Companion</b>, and <b>Urban Shape</b>.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>City Sense</b> is a flat +2 bonus to gather information and knowledge (local) checks. I've talked already in this series about how I hate class abilities that barely amount to a single newbie trap feat. It's not very exciting or useful. But it replaces the similarly uninspiring Nature Sense of the base druid, so it is what it is. Moving on.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Disease Immunity</b> replaces Venom Immunity, because you're admittedly far more likely to contract a respiratory or waterborne disease in a populous, vaguely medieval city than you are to get bitten by a snake or huff exotic flower pollen. No notes.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Crowd Walk</b> is the Woodland Stride of the concrete jungle (brick jungle? half-timbered jungle with a fading white plaster infill?). Except instead of not being slowed down by difficult terrain, the UD gets a +4 bonus to whatever check is involved when they're trying to pass through a space occupied by a hostile creature. It's basically the Mobility feat, except it extends to other things like making an overrun or tumble check. Better than City Sense, at least?</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Favored City</b> is exactly what it sounds like. It replaces and progresses similar to the druid and ranger's Favored Terrain, granting you a bonus in up to 6 cities of at least Small Town size or larger (according to the DMG). Favored City grants the UD a sacred bonus to bluff, diplomacy, gather information, and intimidate, making them even better at facing. It also gives them a decent +2 to Will saves besides.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Much like favored terrain, favored city can be handy or functionally useless depending on where you go in your campaign. A game that takes place entirely within a major city like Sharn or, gods forbid, Neverwinter, will see favored city activated just about all the time. Games where you're only in a city in between adventures make it more of an insult. I do appreciate that the ability extends across an entire city instead of just areas or neighborhoods, as I've seen with urban class features in other games. Pathfinder 1E, I think?</p><p style="text-align: left;">Oh, and did I mention that the skill bonus from favored city is keyed off of the UD's <i>Wisdom</i> modifier? The ability score they just dropped as the all-important casting stat in favor of Charisma? It wouldn't be 3E without a little bit of Multiple Attribute Dependence, I suppose.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Urban Companion</b> is a modified Animal Companion that advances at the same rate, except the list of available companions is very different. They get the standard dog, pony, and snake options at 1st level, but no wolf, camel, aquatic options, etc. Instead they can pick things like centipedes, spiders, and rats. At higher levels instead of accessing an increasingly insane list of dire animals like dinosaurs and elephants, they get an increasingly insane list of giant vermin, animated objects, and just straight-up robots like hammerers or pulverizers. They can also get an otyugh at 7th level, which opens up potential for the municipal waste disposal druid of your dreams.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Like the change to spontaneous casting, the urban companion list is another flavorful downgrade. The list isn't bad by any means, and you can probably get pretty creative with animated objects. But the base druid wins out thanks to outside support: years of Monster Manuals and other splatbooks added to the list of animal companions and animal forms they can choose from. But as a class variant limited to a single magazine article, the UD gets no such love.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Speaking of animal forms, <b>Urban Shape</b> is quite something. Like urban companion, the animal options provided are extremely limited. You also do not gain plant or elemental forms at higher levels. Instead, to start off you can turn into any animal or vermin from the urban companion list, or any <i>humanoid</i>.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Now humanoids tend not to have the most powerful abilities baked into their species, nor would you be able to use them while urban shaped if they were supernatural or spell-like in nature. But this still allows you to turn into any humanoid you're familiar with. And with a +10 to Disguise checks from this being a modification of the Alternate Form ability, you can even impersonate individual people with this ability. You basically turn into a doppelganger for a few hours a day with urban shape. The synergy between that and an urban campaign with a Charisma-focused kit (not to mention the fact that you're still a full-caster) is spectacular, and I'm curious what kind of cheese you can age with this.</p><p style="text-align: left;">At higher levels, urban shape allows the UD to turn into an ordinary object (in case you've ever wanted to do a stakeout as a fencepost) or an animated object (in case you want to end said stakeout by staking somebody). Or, hell, just become the mimic house from that one internet copy+pasta. Again, the combat power level is diminished compared to base druid, but the flavor is kept to nicely.</p><p style="text-align: left;">And, honestly, it's still 2/3rds of a CoDZilla so the power drop isn't that much to worry about.</p><p style="text-align: left;">As I mentioned, the other group of UD class abilities are entirely new, rather than being modifications of existing stuff. They are <b>Alley Fighting</b>, and <b>Information Network</b>.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Alley Fighting</b> is weird. It would fit way better on an Urban Fighter if such a variant existed. The UD gets a +1 to attack rolls in confined spaces, and ignores cover from attacking around a corner in melee. </p><p style="text-align: left;">That's it. The bonus doesn't even scale with level.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The ability to ignore cover might be good if you maneuver and do a lot of ambushing, which is something the UD can pull off decently well in a city. It's still such a weird ability, even more niche than the rest of the variant.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Information Network</b> on the other hand, is the culmination of the UD as a surreptitious guardian of the city with eyes and ears everywhere. The UD gains a network of informants who cut gather information checks from a full day down to a mere half-hour. Additionally, just about every event of interest that happens in one of their chosen cities will come to their attention within a matter of hours. This is the kind of kingpin spy network that rogues would have gotten, had 3rd edition kept the convention of every class founding some kind of stronghold at ~10th level. There's so much roleplay potential here, and I love it.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">The Urban Druid was a very enjoyable discovery for me. It's a fun, different take on very familiar old mechanics, and it makes the idea of playing a game set entirely in a city slightly less anxiety-inducing to me, which I assure you is high praise.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I would have liked it if it the lore of the class supported them being part of the larger culture of druids, perhaps with a nod toward the idea of living in harmony with nature, but coming from the <i>other</i> direction than what we usually associate druids with. Because as it stands, urban druids feel weirdly divorced from their namesakes, as well as all other nature-themed classes, to the point that maybe it would have made more sense to call them something else and then in the description say in passing that they are "<i>like</i> the druids of the city" or something.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I dunno. I've probably been binge-watching too many urbanism videos on YouTube again. Now I want a base druid and an urban druid working together to create a nice green city with extensive parks, sustainable energy sources, and mixed-use zoning. Throw in a plotting NIMBY cult and you've got yourself an adventure.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">Quick aside: I started this post by saying I wouldn't talk a lot about alternate class features, and I'm afraid I was kind of lying.</p><p style="text-align: left;">In researching the urban druid for this post, I came across an ACL from <i>Cityscape</i>, which is an invaluable resource (or maybe a terrible burden of knowledge) when you're trying to trudge through the crunchiness of an urban campaign in 3.5E. This ACL is <a href="https://srd.dndtools.org/srd/classes/baseCore/druid.html#voice-of-the-city">Voice of the City</a>, available to druids, rangers, and spirit shamans. It drops Wild Empathy in favor of the ability to communicate ideas to creatures whom you don't share a language with, and honestly I wish I could trade City Sense or Alley Fighting out for it. It fits the urban druid so well, even if its speak language skill is redundant with the variant's skill list.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-42135692001687468472023-06-25T10:41:00.001-04:002023-06-25T10:41:54.307-04:003 In-Universe Board Games to Kill Time with<p>So your protagonists are nerds and hobbyists just like their players, and you have to populate the shelves of a little specialty shop the party insists on visiting. You don't need each one to have a fully fleshed-out ruleset like Three-Dragon Ante or Dragonchess, but you still need an idea to run with for each- you just need some names and concepts, and if the PCs bite, you can fudge the rest.</p><p>Well, we've got the names and concepts, and you—presumably—have the fudge.</p><p><br /></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Dvürgfest</h2><p><b>Appearance:</b> Frothy beer practically spills out of the box art as dozens of highly insensitive dwarf stereotypes smash their tankards together around drenched wooden tables and roaring firepits. Enormous mouths open in raucous laughter and sausage-like fingers point as one of their fellows coughs during a chugging contest and sends a geyser of aerosolized booze across the scene. A warning label shaped like a slightly off-kilter wooden tavern sign requests the utmost responsibility from any and all players in bolded Sans Liability font.</p><p><b>Back-of-the-Box Blurb:</b> <i>Oi, laddie! Ye look like ye hae a strong stomach. Why don't ye an' yer mates pull up some chairs an' a keg! What are we celebratin'? Why, Dvürgfest ay coorse! It's always Dvürgfest!!!</i></p><p><b>Contents:</b> 12-page rulebook, 6 shot glasses, 1 reusable writing tablet, 1 fifty-charge wand of <i>Conjure Alcohol</i> with a 50% chance of missing 1d6 charges- the box was tampered with, and either the store manager or a customer abusing the returns policy used the wand a few times.</p><p><b>Prep Time:</b> None, <b>Play Time:</b> Variable, dependent upon the constitution of the players.</p><p><b>What It Is:</b> An Irresponsibly Good Time.</p><p>True to its name and advertising, this is a drinking game with little in the way of skill, challenge, or even chance. You pick a game from the book or set your own parameters for sips and shots on the tablet, and then get to work on your night. One player has the distinction of being the "Brewmeister" who keeps tally and uses the wand for refills, but they are not exempt from drinking either. The wand can conjure a small variety of alcoholic beverages depending on the magic keyword spoken while activating it, ranging from a potent pilsner to a highly combustible rum. The wand also has around 50 charges, which is <i>hopefully</i> enough for several games. There is a form and address in the back of the rulebook for ordering wand refills- you may notice the wand constitutes 90% of the cost of the game, and that just getting drinks at the pub would be cheaper.</p><p><b>Consequences:</b> All participants must Save every hour of play or wind up dangerously drunk. Even the "winner" becomes decently tipsy at the end of the game. Any penalties for inebriation are in full effect, and the following morning all participants must Save with disadvantage or else wake up severely hungover.</p><p><br /></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Capital</h2><p><b>Appearance:</b> The letter 'C' explodes off of the box in a font several dozen sizes bigger than any other text on the box, to make sure absolutely no one misses the fact that the C in Capital is <i>capital</i>ized. Disembodied hands rake through a dragon hoard's worth of gold coins and jewels underneath it, surrounded by a halo of industrious vignettes depicting fleets of trade ships, smoking factories, well-to-do gentlemen, statuesque workers striking handsome poses as they labor, etc.</p><p><b>Back-of-the-Box Blurb:</b> <i>Become a merchant prince! Grease the wheels of industry with the sweat of your brow, make daring investments, and live a life of high adventure in high society with your fellow players... at least until you claim it all for yourself!</i></p><p><b>Contents:</b> Folding board, 216-page manual, 4 sets of obnoxiously nonstandard polyhedral dice carved from the bones of an animal species that has since become critically endangered, 3 twenty-count decks of event cards, 500 building/worker/currency tokens.</p><p><b>Prep Time:</b> 3-4 hours; <b>Play Time:</b> 30 minutes to 2 hours</p><p><b>What It Is:</b> Friendship Ruiner.</p><p>The grueling setup time is the result of the game's extensive random generation rules. You don't play in the same world from game to game- each one is created from scratch with its own economic and sociopolitical variables in play. The entire global economy is simulated, with greatly varying degrees of depth and realism therein.</p><p>Players, too, have their fair share of prep work. After determining first-come-first-serve turn order, each player generates their merchant prince ("<i>or princess!!</i>", as the rulebook rather proudly declares numerous times, always in italics with exactly two exclamation points). To create a prince(ss), one must also create five generations of family history, fortune, inheritance, and "good breeding" that leave the player with a wealth (or dearth) of bonuses and point modifiers. To cap it off, the merchant begins play with a random starting gift/investment of money and liquid assets. These gifts are determined using open-ended polyhedral dice rolls that can explode multiplicatively, and can often (around 40% of the time) result in a player acquiring most or all of the game's currency tokens, thereby winning the game before play has even started.</p><p>The actual game is played on a rather cheap, flimsy board. (Deluxe editions of the game use carved hardwood of questionable legality that raises the price fivefold.) The board depicts the nondescript metropolis of Fortuna, studded with rings and boxes for game pieces and stacks of special event cards. Players compete in several industries while committing corporate espionage or naked acts of aggression against one another and trying to win the local government to their side. Alliances are supported, but they are designed to be fast, loose, and brief. Wealth tokens can be spent on various ventures, or wasted in acts of conspicuous consumption that give you influence points and favors among the aristo-plutocracy, to be spent later for even more wealth.</p><p>The final tally is its own game, full of byzantine rules for point calculation dependent upon world-generated modifiers, as well as any changes that occurred over the course of the game.</p><p><b>Consequences:</b> At least one character will develop a deep animosity toward another—most likely the winner, or the most ruthless player—for one day thanks to this game. They must Save or else do nothing to help whenever preventable misfortune is about to befall the target of their righteous indignation.</p><p><br /></p><h2 style="text-align: left;">At-Home Adventure</h2><p><b>Appearance:</b> The box's eerily photorealistic cover art depicts a ragtag band of misfits not unlike the PCs, gathered around a table where they are poring over books, reference sheets, and a grid board populated by figurines that resemble miniaturized versions of themselves, albeit markedly different in minor, idealized ways like height, physical appearance, or gender. The figurines seem to be coming to life, animating into flesh and blood out of their former ivory and pewter states to do battle with a group of ruffian figurines undergoing the same transmutation.</p><p><b>Back-of-the-Box Blurb:</b> <i>Enter the battlefields of Imagination!</i></p><p><b>Contents:</b> 10 meters of grid paper, 5 sets of 6-piece polyhedral dice, 248-page "core rulebook", 129-page "referee's manual", 10 "sample adventurer" brochure-booklets, 100 character sheets, dice rolling tray, privacy/reference screen, 100 paper tokens, catalogue of ~20 optional supplement books available for order.</p><p><b>Prep Time:</b> Meta-variable; <b>Play Time:</b> Indefinite</p><p><b>What It Is:</b> Hyper-Simulationist.</p><p>This game so perfectly replicates the "real" world of the campaign that the PCs use the exact same systems and mechanics to play it that you and your players use to play them, albeit with a few terms replaced by suspiciously specific synonyms. The PCs may even create characters who are uncannily perfect twins of themselves. The board game essentially becomes a <i>mesagame</i>- a game within the game whose distinction from "reality" relies entirely upon a thin veil of cognitive dissonance.</p><p><b>Consequences:</b> The entire party must Save or else experience a spiraling existential crisis as they begin to consider the implications of living in a world that can be simulated so perfectly. They can almost hear your dice rolling...</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-13676925636056164412023-06-10T17:19:00.001-04:002023-06-11T15:33:52.692-04:00Quasi-Prestige Classes for BFRPG<p>So I've recently gotten into something I never thought I'd like; the BX D&D retro-clone, <a href="https://www.basicfantasy.org/">BFRPG</a>. Calling it just a Basic emulator is incorrect, though. It actually combines elements of Basic and Advanced D&D, and even dispenses with parts that existed in both, like alignment and descending AC. Those changes are probably what spiced it up enough for me to check it out so soon after a binge of Blueholme and Old School Essentials products.</p><p>What I like about BFRPG (besides how free it is) is the active community and all the official support there is for the supplements they create. The downloads page has the core rules, some adventures, house rules from the creator's personal campaign, and then just a buttload of additional material forever stamped with the "PLAYTEST EDITION" label. Those are by far my favorite documents, because they include options like extra species, classes, and the inspiration for this post: <a href="https://basicfantasy.org/downloads/BF-Quasi-Classes-Supplement-r4.pdf">quasi-classes</a>.</p><p>Quasi-classes are inspired by something from BECMI that I haven't seen emulated before now. Back in the benighted era of race-as-class, TSR eventually wanted to give more options to certain species that they couldn't according to the default rules that they had been using ever since Holmes developed the first Basic set to succeed OD&D. The answer was to make optional "add-on" classes that totally aren't multiclassing for realsies guys this is different.</p><p>The way it works is you start with whatever class as normal, but then at some later point in your character's adventuring career they get enough XP to be initiated into a new class that layers new abilities on top of what they already get. As an example, the shadow elf shaman from <i>Gazetteer</i> 13 starts off as a regular shadow elf which is mechanically almost identical to a standard surface elf, i.e. they are a fighter/magic-user. But later on they can be inducted into the shadow elf shamans to gain access to limited clerical spellcasting. In return for those added abilities, it takes much more XP to level: an extra ~50% per level in the case of the elves above.</p><p>BFRPG's quasi-classes are more modest and forgiving, by comparison. They can be taken at character creation because 1st level requires 0 XP, and in fact it is encouraged that you work them into your PC to begin with rather than playing catchup later on. The XP requirements also vary depending on what the quasi-class offers; simple ones like Barbarian start at +500 and end at +425,000 XP at 20th level, while the significantly crunchier Bard starts at +1,000 and climbs up to +850,000 XP, which is almost as much as a 20th level Thief.</p><p>Wisely, quasi-classes are a fairly small and entirely optional aspect of BFRPG.</p><p>Naturally, I want to take the concept and make it slightly worse by awkwardly introducing an unwelcome later innovation into it that I think will be interesting.</p><p>Introducing the Quasi-<i>Prestige</i> Class!</p><p>Quasi-prestige classes operate on the same basic principles as quasi-classes, except they are condensed into smaller flavor packages that don't need a full 20 levels devoted to them. My hunch is that 3-5 levels work best, and definitely no more than 10. They are designed to be accessible later on in a character's career, like the PrCs of 3rd edition that inspired this.</p><p>All of the rules that apply to quasi-classes also apply to quasi-PrCs (qPrC from this point on; pronounced like "cue-perk"), with the exception of the following: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>PCs <i>must</i> adventure for a time before deciding to take on a qPrC.</li><li>Each qPrC has unique requirements, including but not limited to minimum level or special deeds performed.</li><li>After reaching the final level listed under a qPrC, it is considered complete and the PC is free to move on, spending no more XP on it.</li><li>A character may pick up multiple qPrCs over the course of their career, but they may only advance in one qPrC at a time; they must either finish or abandon the one they are currently in before moving on to a different qPrC, or alternatively returning to advancing their base class(es).</li><li>You may use qPrCs alongside normal quasi-classes and/or combination classes if you really, <i>really</i> want to but that seems like more numbers than fun.</li></ul><p></p><p>Example qPrC:</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Spirit-Speaker (quasi-prestige class)</b></p><table cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" style="text-align: center; width: 294px;">
<colgroup><col width="21"></col>
<col width="76"></col>
<col width="76"></col>
<col width="87"></col>
</colgroup><tbody><tr valign="top">
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0.04in; padding: 0.04in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="21"><p style="text-align: center;">
<br />
</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Lvl</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0.04in; padding: 0.04in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: right;">
Experience</p>
<p style="text-align: right;">Points</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0.04in; padding: 0.04in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: center;">
Whispering</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Spirits</p>
</td>
<td style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); padding: 0.04in;" width="87"><p style="text-align: center;">
Speak with...</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="21"><p style="text-align: center;">
4</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: right;">
2,000</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: center;">
+1</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="87"><p style="text-align: center;">
Animals</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="21"><p style="text-align: center;">
5</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: right;">
4,000</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: center;">
+1</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="87"><p style="text-align: center;">
<br />
</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="21"><p style="text-align: center;">
6</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: right;">
8,000</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: center;">
+1</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="87"><p style="text-align: center;">
Dead</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="21"><p style="text-align: center;">
7</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: right;">
16,000</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: center;">
+2</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="87"><p style="text-align: center;">
<br />
</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="21"><p style="text-align: center;">
8</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: right;">
32,000</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: none; border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="76"><p style="text-align: center;">
+2</p>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top: none; padding-bottom: 0.04in; padding-left: 0.04in; padding-right: 0.04in; padding-top: 0in; padding: 0in 0.04in 0.04in;" width="87"><p style="text-align: center;">
Plants</p>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table><p>
</p><p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">The world is suffused with spirits. Some are of the plants and animals, or mortal ancestors. Others are older and more primal. All have power and influence over the world. Many cultures know of and venerate the spirit world, but few individuals ever directly touch it. Those who do are known to gain the favor of the spirits, as well as a curious outlook on the waking world. Life, death, and the passage of time are different when you have friends on the other side.</p><p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">To become a Spirit-Speaker, a character must reach 4th level. They must then journey to a place of great natural power and beseech an audience with the spirits of that place, possibly requiring the guidance of a priest or shaman. Once they have contacted the spirits, the prospective Spirit-Speaker must undergo physical and psychological trials to test their resolve.</p><p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">In addition to any requirements of their base-class, Spirit-Speaker characters must have a minimum Wisdom score of 13.</p><p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">Spirit-Speaker characters must also continue to show respect and due deference to the spirits of the world after entering the qPrC, in order to benefit from their abilities. This can be accomplished through actions such as making regular ritual offerings to the spirits, or observing cultural taboos similar to a Barbarian (quasi-class). Sufficiently angering the spirits may require the character to undertake a special task for ritual purification and atonement.</p><p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;">Those gifted with the ability to communicate with the spirits often find that they are surrounded by the incessant noise of <b>Whispering Spirits</b> that voice their thoughts on every little thing. These spirits will also speak up in warning or even give the Spirit-Speaker a little shove when they are in in imminent danger, granting them certain benefits according to the Whispering Spirits rating (see table).</p><p style="line-height: 100%; margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The Whispering Spirits rating is applied as a bonus to saves versus Death Ray, Dragon Breath, Magic Wands, or other hazards able to be dodged (such as a pit trap or falling rocks).</li><li>The Whispering Spirits rating is applied as a bonus to Armor Class against attacks by invisible creatures and ghosts.</li></ul><div>There are many spirits in the world that govern all life, land, and the long-dead. By listening to these spirits long enough, Spirit-Speakers learn their languages too. Spirit-Speakers are able to cast the <b>Speak with Animals</b>, <b>Dead</b>, and <b>Plants</b> spells at will, starting at the indicated levels. They also apply their Whispering Spirits rating as a bonus to any reaction rolls made while speaking to the targets of these abilities.</div><p></p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-73990708245779462592023-05-18T22:41:00.000-04:002023-05-18T22:41:55.846-04:00Let's Dig Into: The Sultanate of Zeif<p>Greyhawk was not the first campaign setting ever, but it was one of the first ever devised for Dungeons & Dragons. It was Gygax's own brainchild, originally created as just a dungeon under the titular castle to amuse his friends and family with. But as the early 1970s dungeon crawls played out, Gary expanded upon the world overhead until it became a sprawling, publishable setting in its own right.</p><p>He also decided that the alternate Earth it's set on, Oerth, should be pronounced <i>Oith</i>, like someone doing a very bad (or maybe extremely good?) Brooklyn accent.</p><p>That's the first of several sins I hold against the man, as you may see.</p><p>Instead of doing a tour of the entire combination racist-theme-park-and-right-libertarian-wet-dream that is Greyhawk, I want to zoom in on one part of the world that I find interesting: The Baklunish Sultanate of Zeif. It didn't feature very prominently in early Greyhawk except as the backdrop for part of a novel or two, but by the time 3rd edition rolled around it was major enough to be afforded a slice of the planet during the Living Greyhawk live campaign.</p><p>The way Living Greyhawk worked was each participating region on Earth had a corresponding section of Oerth in which all adventures would take place. Sometimes these regions included a few US states or a single Canadian province, sometimes they covered one or more countries. For instance, Italy got the Sea Barons, while Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Tennessee shared Yeomanry, and Ohio got Veluna all to itself.</p><p>Zeif was given to the Canadian provinces of Alberta, British Columbia, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Saskatchewan, and the Yukon Territory. Materials for Zeif were made available online for live play, both in English and French. Unfortunately these materials were not pirated or preserved the same way so many other D&D peripherals have been, and the websites they were originally hosted on have long since decayed. For a long time before I started this post, I thought that glimpse into early 2000s live D&D was lost forever.</p><p>Turns out, I just needed to find a super cool Albertan who happens to know one of the original writers. </p><p>Thanks, elfman!</p><p>Anyway, back to the post.</p><p><br /></p><h3 style="text-align: center;">The Sultanate of Zeif</h3><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH62-ctOpYQRcF4QhU77gD6o617GOE6gK7Cl83uCRlRwWwt9vEFmAyOOrQac6AzN8RFMKXZiakJUdUaAskA5HU6UFvfLpq8ACVTGxL6-kUYsOHj6xL6PgkZecrjnhRXM-sIGZyyp8LQe8UqrFWxROuTAse8znDHTeWzlmYJb8SVx1dGeISL9p0OFtY/s833/Zeif.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="833" data-original-width="833" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH62-ctOpYQRcF4QhU77gD6o617GOE6gK7Cl83uCRlRwWwt9vEFmAyOOrQac6AzN8RFMKXZiakJUdUaAskA5HU6UFvfLpq8ACVTGxL6-kUYsOHj6xL6PgkZecrjnhRXM-sIGZyyp8LQe8UqrFWxROuTAse8znDHTeWzlmYJb8SVx1dGeISL9p0OFtY/s320/Zeif.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The heraldic shield of Zeif,<br />as done by <a href="https://www.annabmeyer.com/heraldry/">Anna B. Meyer</a></td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>Every region in Greyhawk is either an explicit pastiche of a historical civilization and its peoples (Erypt, Nippon, etc), or an ambiguous hodgepodge of European fantasy names and ideas (The Kingdom of Keoland, The Yeomanry, etc). </p><p>Zeif is in the former camp, being a gloss of the Ottoman Empire without all the gunpowder and tulips. Specifically, it is a Western fantasia of the Ottoman Empire in the Middle-East after the start of its slow territorial decline, when the loss of most of its holdings in Eastern Europe and the Balkans rendered it a foreign and exotic land of the Orient in the minds of many Europeans, rather than the immediate and cosmopolitan neighbor it had been for centuries prior.</p><p>The Sultanate occupies the western half of the Baklunish Basin, which used to be unified under a single empire, back in the days before some Suloise mages blew everything up- as they are wont to do. The Basin is located in the far northwest of the subcontinent of the Flanaess, which is where 90% of the action happens in Greyhawk. Compare it to the Forgotten Realms' Sword Coast. The basin is separated from most of the world by tall mountain ranges and the weirdly polar, ice-choked Dramidj Sea- I find it interesting that if not for some warm, supernatural water regulating temperatures close to the coast, Zeif would be a subarctic land more similar to someplace like the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khanate_of_Sibir">Khanate of Sibir</a> than the historical Ottoman Empire.</p><p>I know I keep harping on about this, but Zeif is <i>very</i> Ottoman. The sultan (currently Murad the Proud) is head of state and is advised by a cabinet-style <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_Council_(Ottoman_Empire)">diwan</a>, as well as a sultana who wields a lot of soft power from within a politically-active and well-educated harem (points for making it more than a licentious bathhouse full of pale, naked concubines like older Western depictions of hareems, I guess); the sultan ostensibly wields absolute temporal power, but in reality authority is decentralized somewhat across the empire's many different types of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timar">timar</a> provinces, each with their own governors and major families; cavalry officers are called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sipahi">spahis</a>; there is an elite slave-soldier bodyguard similar to the historical Janissaries (more on that later); the cities all have coffeehouses that act as the heart of news, politics, and culture; the locals literally just speak a mix of modern Turkish and Arabic (a handy appendix includes phrases like "hoş geldiniz!"); and the rugged interior is home to rustic nomads who do their best to resist the boot of empire.</p><p>The Basin straddles Central Oerik with its khanates and faux-Chinese Celestial Imperium. But that part of the world got next to zero development back when Greyhawk and Chainmail were actively being released, so we don't know much about it or how it interacted with Zeif. For what it's worth, Zeif stands upon Central Oerik's borders as the so-called "Rock of the West".</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The Baklunish People</h4><p>Zeif and its neighbors are inhabited by the Baklunish people, who act as Greyhawk's analogues to various West Asian, North African, and occasionally Central Asian peoples. In Zeif they are treated like the mix of Anatolian Turkic and Levantine peoples that made up the eastern Ottoman Empire, while in Zeif's next-door rival, the Caliphate of Ekbir they are closer to Arabs (both city-dwelling and Bedouin). The Tiger and Wolf Nomads of the north, despite being vaguely Mongol, are also of Baklunish extraction. Other Baklunish nations or city-states include Ket, Ull, and Tusmit.</p><p>Baklunish people worship a pantheon of gods that act as a curious mix of fantasy Islam and Chinese folk religion, of all things. On one hand they venerate the awkwardly named hero-god Al'Akbar who once went on a famous Hajj, and his worshipers are divided into two camps that seem to be modeled on the Sunni-Shi'a split within the Ummah. But on the other hand they also have deities of harmony and martial arts with names like Xan Yae and Zuoken. Maybe they came to them via cultural diffusion from the Celestial Imperium?</p><p>Perhaps even more central to the Baklunish way of life than their gods is their code of ethics. All of the Baklunish peoples adhere to a philosophy called the Four Feet of the Dragon, which consist of four principles that they are to strive for at all times and in all facets of life. The Four Feet are Honor, Generosity, Family, and Piety. These feet aren't very strictly defined, which leads to a wide range of interpretations as people navigate the messy and complicated realities of life.</p><p>At first glance the name of the philosophy makes it look like it will be modeled on the Five Pillars of Islam in some way, but fortunately the writers didn't try to make the parallels that explicit there. Instead, the Four Feet are broadly drawn and broadly applicable enough to offer a good deal of roleplaying opportunity without being hyper-local. The Four Feet also function as one of the few strong cultural connections between the sedentary Baklunish and their nomadic relatives.</p><p>Speaking of nomads!</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The Nomad Tribes</h4><p>You all knew this was coming.</p><p>The southern steppes and deserts of the Baklunish Basin are home to nomadic pastoralists known as the Paynims, which in real life is a corruption of the word "pagan" that was used in medieval and early modern Europe to describe non-Christians, but especially Muslims; in that respect it was a gloss similar to Moor. But here in Greyhawk it specifically refers to the Baklunish nomads of the basin.</p><p>The Paynims of Greyhawk are most heavily based on the Bedouin ethnic groups of Arabia and beyond, perhaps with a bit of Amazigh mixed in as well. Curiously, they seem to prefer the Turkic title of khan to Arabic terms like sheikh or emir. They are a proud people with strong equestrian and martial traditions, and they often figure as raiders and enemies in the histories of their settled neighbors. They are also waiting for the arrival of the Mahdi, an Islamic messianic figure that was often central to millennialist movements and revolutions in Muslim-majority states throughout history.</p><p>(I can't fault Gygax or his TSR and WotC successors in particular for including this element, because fiction writers in general seem to <i>love</i> the aesthetic of desert people waiting for a warrior-messiah to drive out the abusive foreigners. See also; the Fremen Mahdi from Frank Herbert's <i>Dune</i>, the Nerevarine from TES III: Morrowind, and the Keleshite Namzaruum from Pathfinder, more recently.)</p><p>Most sources don't actually go into great detail about it, but each Paynim tribe is fairly culturally distinct from its neighbors, making their plains a diverse tapestry of tribes and decentralized nations that the generic blanket exonyms used by sedentary folk can't do justice to. That might be the most verisimilitudinal bit in this whole book.</p><p>Paynim tribes tend to be more "pacified" now than in the past when they were a united threat to much of the Basin. They still resist the rule of the sultans, but the sultans have over the centuries used them to create a sort of buffer state for Zeif. Now, the tribes mostly keep to themselves while hashing out the occasional territorial dispute- both with other tribes, and with the orcs.</p><p>Speaking of orcs.</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Zeifan Orcs</h4><p><i>You all knew this was coming</i>.</p><p>I neglected to mention until now that roughly 1/10th of the Zeifan population is orcish or at least half-orcish. Besides a smattering of halflings, dwarves, and elves, orcs represent the largest minority group in Zeif. They are descendants of the orc tribes who fought as mercenaries on behalf of the old Baklunish Empire against the Suel Imperium, those mages I mentioned who have a habit of blowing everything up.</p><p>The orcs were given a place to live in the Basin as payment, and ever since then they have had an ambivalent relationship with the Baklunish peoples. Sometimes the two lived together in relative peace, sometimes a sultan used the orcs as naked tyrannical muscle against his own people, and sometimes the orcs tried to strike out on their own again.</p><p>Gradually the orcs were "watered down" as the <i>Player's Guide to Zeif</i> put it. They lost their warlike nature due to the influence of human civilization, and most of them stopped worshiping their old gods and totems. In essence, they were culturally assimilated by a dominant non-orc power that instilled nonevil ideas in them, rather than the orcs having an opportunity to affect positive change in themselves.</p><p>(It was not the first instance of D&D orcs being made nonevil by means of paternalistic outside interference, and I plan to write a post griping about all of them at some point.)</p><p>Currently, orcs exist as an impoverished underclass in Zeif. Their life is itinerant rather than truly nomadic, with their means of livelihood being confined to working as miners, laborers and scavengers when they aren't moving around the dry plains of south-central Antal, jostling for resources with the Paynims. The name of the Antal region makes me wonder if the Zeifan orcs aren't some kind of very obfuscated reference to the semi-nomadic <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y%C3%B6r%C3%BCks">Yörük</a> people of the Anatolian interior, but that might be too specific a reference for me to expect of anyone.</p><p>Orcs make up a large proportion of the population in southern cities like the eponymous Antalotol, but they benefit little from the trade wealth of that city. Additionally, they have virtually no representation in local government. The only consistent avenue for upward social mobility available to even a minority of orcs is the military: specifically, the Uruzary Corps.</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The Corps</h4><p>A few hundred years before present, Jehef Sultan brought an end to one of the last periods of orc rebellion by founding the Uruzary Corps, an elite infantry division comprised of orcish shock-troops. The first generation of Uruzaries were already battle-hardened warriors, but every generation after that was hand-selected during childhood to begin their training and indoctrination. Every Uruzary was made to be personally dependent upon and loyal to the sultan himself, so that he could have a private bodyguard and task force that was above corruption.</p><p>The Uruzary Corps is Zeif's answer to the elite slave-soldier trope, like the Ottoman Janissaries or the Mamluks of the, well, Mamluk Sultanate. All were drawn as children from a particular ethnic background to serve the sovereign, and in exchange they were granted considerable positions of power within the military. Unlike the Mamluks, the Uruzaries have never usurped their sultan to become a ruling dynasty. Unlike the Janissaries, they haven't yet devolved into a corrupt band of reactionary brigands shaking coffeeshop owners down for money using decorative axes.</p><p>Instead, the Uruzary Corps is austere, highly professional, and undyingly loyal to the will of the sultan. So much so, that they practice a philosophy called <i>giribim</i>, which is essentially the process of grokking the sultan's mindset so thoroughly that they can predict exactly what he would order them to do in any given situation, even in his absence. It's like a W.W.J.D. bracelet, except for battle tactics and covert political raids.</p><p>The Corps does have more mundane functions, too. Because of their proximity to the sultan, they are actually treated as members of his <i>ojak</i>, or household. Their officers hold the ranks of cook, waiter, gardener, and janitor, and sometimes they'll even perform those duties- amusingly, the janitors also serve as executioners. And they do all of this with solemn pride, because the cult of the Baklunish god of poverty and self-effacement, Daoud the Mendicant, is strong in the Corps.</p><p>New Uruzaries are selected by lieutenants who travel to meet all of the orc tribes every 4-to-6 years in an event known as the Fierce Harvest- which is just the most badass name it could possibly have. I know the subject matter is something straight out of a young adult dystopian fiction novel, but can you think of a name more metal than that?</p><p>Details on the workings of the Fierce Harvest are slim, but it is known that of all the children offered up for selection, less than half are ever found worthy. The tribes are paid for every child selected before they are shipped off for a 20-year term of service to the sultan. Considering how impoverished many of the orc tribes are, I can easily picture a system in which each tribe trains and prepares its children from a very young age, pushing them to excel in martial pursuits to ensure that as many pass muster as possible, so that the tribe can earn a bigger payout from Harvests while also having a few less mouths to feed.</p><p>In the <i>Loyalty to the Sultan</i> character option from Living Greyhawk, we're shown that orc clans will show off their "warriors" in the capital city of Zeir-i-Zeif during the festival of Sadakat, well in advance of the approaching Fierce Harvest in the hopes of drumming up the sultan's interest. They spar in public matches using exotic blades, and all the equipment they would be expected to master in the Uruzary Corps. No word on whether those blades are blunted or not.</p><p>Keep in mind that because of the rate at which orcs physically mature, these kids can't be older than 9 or 10.</p><p>The unspoken tragedy behind this gets me every time I think about it. What must it do to a kid's psyche to be in pretraining for military servitude from the time they can walk? How does a parent endure, knowing that the tribe might not make it another year if their child isn't taken away from them? How much of a brain drain on a community is it to have your best and brightest taken away for half their lives to serve a state that barely represents you? What does it say about a society when a young person's greatest aspiration and highest achievement is to be bought like a commodity?</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Greyhawk doesn't really raise or even touch on any of these questions.</p><p>It just sends the new Uruzaries off to work, and if they live to retirement age they get sent to the fortress of Dar-Zaribad atop the ruined city of Mukhazin in the Antal. Mukhazin was once the seat of an orc malik in the distant past, but he was overthrown and the city was torched. He was a rather nasty tyrant who fought on the side of an old pretender to the throne, but it's still pretty grim that the final destination for the greatest orcs in the sultanate is the devastated testament to a time when their people had real power- and they were crushed for it. There in Dar-Zaribad, the retirees abide in monastic exile from the world, burying their dead and quietly tolerating the army of restless orc ghosts that may or may not haunt the city.</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Sultan Murad the Proud</h4><p>The man currently in charge of the Uruzary Corps, as well as the entirety of Zeif, is Murad the Proud. He is the 25th sultan of Zeif, and a man of big ambitions. After centuries of territorial losses and political decline, Murad wants to return Zeif to its former glory and height of influence. As a result, the past few decades in Zeif have been tumultuous.</p><p>Murad's predecessor, Selim the Scoundrel, was a hedonist commonly blamed for most of the institutions in Zeif falling into decay while he pursued black market excesses within his palace. He acquired a reputation as a poor ruler who did not follow the Four Feet, which soured the public against him, which drove him deeper into hedonism in a self-fulfilling prophesy death-spiral that eventually killed him. The people of Zeif had even begun to doubt the ability of the institution of the sultan to lead them, when Murad ascended to the throne.</p><p>Murad's answer to this has been to try to restore public trust while aggressively cutting out the rot. Starting with the Ministry of the Treasury, Murad purged huge swaths of the central government and the administrations of cities like Ceshra. In each case he set up public trials in which any official suspected of corruption was investigated and the testimony of any and all aggrieved parties was taken, even from commoners.</p><p>Murad personally presided over these trials. When the defendant was found guilty, the punishment was swift and severe. Either they were executed, their family was sold into slavery to pay for damages, or both. This restored some faith in the general public, but has also caused the people to begin fearing Murad and wondering where he might direct his next purge.</p><p>He is not afraid to use a combination of spy networks, Uruzary wetwork squads, and even general military occupation of cities by the Spahis to reaffirm the central government's grip on its timars.</p><p>Kinda weird how there's no mention of him trying to implement institutional reforms to prevent this sort of thing from happening in the first place, whether or not the big guy in Peh'reen Palace is snorting lines of yuan-ti white resin off a half-ogre pirate's washboard abs.</p><p>Did I mention Murad's alignment is given as Lawful Good?</p><p>My gripes aside, this does leave Zeif in an interesting time that is ideal for adventuring.</p><p>Do you help the sultanate reestablish its hegemony? Build a new trade network to reconnect with the wider world? Find your fortune on the frontier, or in one of the sultanate's secessionist city-states? Plunder desert tombs leftover from the time of ancient Suel? Strike out across the plains and convince the Paynims and the Antal orcs that they have more in common with one another than with their overlords in Zeir-i-Zeif?</p><p>You decide.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-5825361654401800692023-05-18T11:19:00.001-04:002023-05-18T11:46:05.670-04:003E OdditE: Hexer (Masters of the Wild, February 2002)<p style="height: 0px;"></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Click <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2022/12/3e-oddite-archive.html">here</a> to return to the OdditE archive.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Quick; what's your favorite NPC class?</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Mine is the <a href="https://www.d20srd.org/srd/npcClasses/adept.htm">Adept</a>.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For one, it's the only NPC class that gains any meaningful class features, besides maybe the Expert's ability to pick any 10 skills as class skills (and that's only as good as one's ability to enact broken skill shenanigans). Besides that, there's the flavor of it: adepts represent the many petty conjurers, witches, village healers, and other modestly magical people of the world who don't have the training or the suicidally adventurous urge that would allow them to take levels in "real" classes.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Even so, the Adept is a surprisingly serviceable class on its own. It has a small but reliable spell list that it can cast as a Cleric does up to 5th level, it gains a familiar at 2nd level, it has good Will saves, and while the class isn't proficient in any armor, it can wear armor without any penalties besides ACP. They are modestly good at what they're intended to do, and they aren't completely useless outside of that one role.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This makes them a Tier 4 class, which is actually on par with many PHB classes like Rogue, Barbarian, and Ranger. You could run an Adept in a low-power party and they'd fit right in as a sort of Great Value brand Cleric/Wizard. They might even outshine the Fighter or Monk if they're a little optimized. And if you use the Eberron version of the Adept that gives them 1 free Cleric domain, it's even better.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I love that quirk of the system. It makes the Adept feel like a bit of an underdog possessed of unexpected grit. Back in the day before we had multiple 3rd-party products devoted to playing peasants and commoners in way over their depth, the 3E Adept class gave me that same general feeling.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Which is why I was so surprised to find that they got their very own (at one point) bespoke prestige class in the form of the Hexer.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></p><h3 style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://dnd.arkalseif.info/classes/hexer/index.html">The Hexer</a></h3><h3 style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">(digital copy of the class writeup courtesy of D&Dtools this time)</span></span></h3><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw65ZY6n96B1tzS3i_8lh4nhP1U9Ks5sPLGOAIVda5sQVkatdZL21Ud9Ihb-ixVXlY_BtfJKMOfLNX849hfXMrbmieIF7oCp2WOShGvrn6otFOcTZf3CgazU_TZGspL4sdQkQdyB_viN8OIva_TZyZ7EH63t1NhG3YQFh9Sz0NyS4huA-qiqjaKjBV/s725/uJaB2wR9_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="460" data-original-width="725" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw65ZY6n96B1tzS3i_8lh4nhP1U9Ks5sPLGOAIVda5sQVkatdZL21Ud9Ihb-ixVXlY_BtfJKMOfLNX849hfXMrbmieIF7oCp2WOShGvrn6otFOcTZf3CgazU_TZGspL4sdQkQdyB_viN8OIva_TZyZ7EH63t1NhG3YQFh9Sz0NyS4huA-qiqjaKjBV/w400-h254/uJaB2wR9_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: left;">The Hexer PrC is from <i>Masters of the Wild</i>, a 3.0 book that mostly concerns itself with Barbarians, Druids, and Rangers. Most of the content of the book was updated to 3.5E, but a few items like the Hexer were never republished, leaving them in that position of still technically being playable despite having clear hallmarks of the older edition, like the Wilderness Lore skill instead of Survival.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The Hexer is portrayed as a spooky, often villainous user of the Evil Eye in its introductory fluff. They are stereotypical witches who use the power of their gaze to curse or enthrall their victims, and they are almost exclusively found among the "uncivilized" species of the world; orcs, gnolls, etc. I don't think I've ever seen another class with a snippet of in-universe gossip quoted in their writeup like the Hexer has:</p><p>“Do not meet the gaze of the shaman with the evil eye,” warn townsfolk who have crossed paths with a hexer.</p><p>The Hexer is a 10-level PrC that requires you to be any non-good alignment, be a member of one of the aforementioned monstrous species like primitive humanoids or giants, have Arcana 10, Spellcraft 8, and <strike>Wilderness Lore</strike> Survival 10, and to be able to cast <i>lightning bolt</i> as a divine spell.</p><p>The class requirements would be easy for almost any divine caster to meet by 7th level, except for the fact that lightning bolt was not on <i>any</i> divine spell list in the entire game at the time of publication- except for the Adept's. Thus, despite mentioning the Adept nowhere in the writeup, all Hexers needed to be Adepts... before certain other options presented themselves later on in 3E's lifecycle. More on that later.</p><p>Hexer offers d6 HD, B/B/G saves, no new proficiencies, Int+2 skill points for Concentration, Craft, Handle Animal, Heal, Knowledge, Profession, Spellcraft, and Survival, +1 to existing class's caster level every level, and a weirdly out-of-place but no less welcome <i>full</i> BAB progression. It doesn't make you much for melee combined with the lack of HP and proficiencies, but it can help you get deadly accurate with ranged touch spells like <i>scorching ray</i>.</p><p>But the real bread-and-butter of the class is its <b>Hex (Sp)</b> ability.</p><p>Hex is a Standard Action that allows the Hexer to use 1 automatic gaze attack per round for 1 round/level. It automatically affects a target within 30' without an attack roll, though the target does get a Will save, and they can avert their eyes or completely turn away to get a 50% or 100% miss chance (in return for granting the Hexer 20% or 50% concealment from their actions). The Hexer can use Hex once per day, topping out at 6/day at 10th level.</p><p>Hex's effects depend on which option you pick, and more options unlock at higher levels:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The basic <b>Hex</b> is identical to the 2nd option offered by a <i>bestow curse</i> spell; a permanent -4 penalty to a heap of different d20 rolls.</li><li><b>Sicken Hex</b> (3rd level) requires a Fort save instead of Will, and results in 1/2 movement speed, loss of Dex to AC, and a -2 to attack rolls.</li><li><b>Fear Hex</b> (5th level) functions as per the <i>fear</i> spell.</li><li><b>Sleep Hex</b> (7th level) functions as per the <i>sleep</i> spell, except its duration is 10 minutes/level.</li><li><b>Charm Hex</b> (9th level) functions as per the <i>charm monster</i> spell, except its duration is 1 day/level.</li></ul><p></p><p>As you can see, there's a big disparity in usefulness between the different hexes. I can't see how Sleep Hex would ever be useful at the level a Hexer gets it, because there's no mention of the base spell's extremely low hit dice cap being modified or removed; the most you can do is nap one 4HD creature per turn, and that's not very good at 14th level unless your DM is still throwing waves of minions at you.</p><p>Fear has some crowd control use, though. And you could conceivably stack basic Hex and Sicken Hex to debuff the BBEG and their bodyguards- especially since they're permanent unless removed with a spell, meaning they'll still be cursed during a rematch. Charm is quite interesting, especially for its duration, but it's most useful in an out-of-combat situation. Of course, higher levels are when you start to see default immunity to enchantments and mind-affecting effects, so mileage might vary extremely.</p><p>The saving grace for Hex is that it only requires a standard action to <i>activate</i> the ability. For the rest of the duration, it costs no action economy to keep up. If you don't have more pressing things to start combat with, it's a nice thing to turn on and then just have running in the background for the rest of the encounter.</p><p><b>Bonus Spell</b> is Hexer's other noteworthy ability, though it's more of a passive. Every 2nd level, you may add 1 spell from the Sorcerer/Wizard spell list to your own. That's 5 spells from what is widely regarded as the best list in the game, and a nice addition to your small but solid repertoire. Grab some encounter-negating utility spells, and maybe engage in some limited planar binding shenanigans.</p><p>All told, the Hexer is a niche option for an already niche class, but it's my kind of niche that could lead to a very entertaining and competent character grown from humble origins.</p><p>Of course, there are other means of qualifying for Hexer, as I alluded to. Ones that don't require you to spend 7+ levels in an NPC class.</p><p>MotW released in 2002, before 3.5E was even a thing, and the following years saw many other options for mixing arcane and divine spellcasting. These include straightforward examples like Shugenja, or Favored Soul that have <i>lightning bolt</i> in their lists, or more specific options like splatbook feats. I'll leave a link to a helpful handbook on GitP <a href="https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?638329-The-Hexer-Handbook-A-Guide-to-the-Hexer-Prestige-Class">here</a> if you want to browse those.</p><p>But the big one is <a href="https://dndtools.net/classes/archivist/">Archivist</a> from <i>Heroes of Horror</i> (October 2005). This Int-based divine caster prepares a prayerbook the same way a Wizard does a spellbook, and they can copy spells into it from any divine scroll they come across- including a <i>lightning bolt</i> scroll prepared by an Adept or any of the other classes mentioned above. Archivists make the Hexer even stronger, because they already have full 9th-level casting on top of other class abilities. The bonus arcane-to-divine spells just add to the sheer size and versatility of the spell list. The titular hex really just becomes a glob of coagulated gravy on top of this more cerebral variety of CoDZilla.</p><p>I also like the idea of thoroughly subverting the barbaric, primitive assumptions baked into the Hexer by turning their Evil Eye into the (arguably even more powerful) withering gaze of a librarian.</p><p></p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-37249291019050721802023-05-01T17:30:00.001-04:002023-05-01T17:40:02.787-04:003E OdditE: Githyanki Prestige Classes (Dungeon #100, July 2003)<p>Click <a href="https://furtivegoblingaming.blogspot.com/2022/12/3e-oddite-archive.html">here</a> to return to the OdditE archive.</p><p><br /></p><p>(Okay, so I kind of lied when I said I'd be back at the end of the week almost 3 weeks ago. But the Kickstarter went surprisingly well, so I don't feel as bad. Also it's my show.</p><p>Anyway, back to the content!)</p><p><br /></p><p>The Githyanki are a species that I unexpectedly like. The concept of astral space pirates hunting mind flayers from the backs of red dragons while swinging around magic swords made of quicksilver feels like they were invented for one of those deliberately over-the-top awesome mishmashes from an early 2000s demotivational poster- just add some robot laser bear cavalry in the background and you're set. But beyond that, they have a pretty fleshed-out culture that interacts with the fiddly, gamified weirdness of planar mechanics in a believable way.</p><p>Unexpectedly (again, to me at least), a lot of this flavor is delivered upon in several githyanki-exclusive prestige classes published in <i>Dungeon</i> magazine during its second and final period under the control of WotC. Or, more accurately, it was delivered in the <i>Polyhedron</i> sub-magazine that was merged with <i>Dungeon</i> after Paizo Publishing acquired the rights to both the year before.</p><p>The classes are part of <i>Dungeon</i>'s side of a series of githyanki "Incursion" adventures that was started in <i>Dragon</i> #309, revolving around the machinations of Lich-Queen Vlaakith the 157th and her agents. In fact, the section with the PrCs is a so-called "mini-game" where the players can take the role of the githyanki invaders as a sort of villainous prologue to the more heroic part where the party presumably tries to thwart them.</p><p>The githyanki have an odd culture. Millennia of enslavement and experimentation by the illithid left a deep impact on their ancestors the gith, but the 'yanki and their cousins the githzerai diverged sharply shortly after their successful revolution ages past because of a disagreement between their respective leaders, Gith and Zerthimon.</p><p>Whereas the githzerai became introspective and relatively nonviolent in their attempt to heal the wounds of subjugation, the githyanki became highly xenophobic and militaristic. As they tell their history, they are the only ones who are loyal to the teachings of their great liberator-queen Gith, who wanted to usurp the mind flayers as conquerors of the universe. Their generations in bondage has made them extremely protective of their own freedoms, but they don't think twice about raiding and enslaving (and then usually blood-sacrificing) anyone militarily weaker than them.</p><p>As a result, githyanki communities are a bizarre philosophical mishmash. They have no written code of law and take the individual liberties of their 'yanki citizens extremely seriously, so long as they continue to serve their queens Vlaakith and the forever-war that they are waging against the rest of the cosmos. </p><p>Vlaakith CLVII is an interesting character. She died with no heir, but raised herself from the dead to continue ruling her people, and she's been at that for centuries now. Millennia, maybe? Time in the astral city of Tu'narath is fuzzy. She was born into the same adoration as all her predecessors, but over her long existence she has molded the githyanki into religiously devoted subjects. Any 'yanki who reaches 17th level is escorted to Vlaakith's palace where she drains the life from them to add to her own essence. It's suggested she's doing this to someday attain godhood. The githyanki have been raised to look forward to this for generations, and they see it as a rapturous experience far greater than any afterlife has to offer.</p><p>That, to me, is the core tragedy of the githyanki. With all of the freedom they fought, killed, bleed, and died to earn, plus the suspended aging of the Astral Sea in which they live, most githyanki do... very little that is truly free. Plenty of them exercise their right to violate the rights of <i>others</i>, but that's a pretty pathetic idea of freedom.</p><p>Most do little other than indulge in decadent distractions or half-commit to hobbies and shallow pursuits out of sheer boredom, all while making regular forays into the Prime Material to raid others. It's fascism and hedonism masquerading as some kind of radical anarchism, and the apparent meritocracy it's built upon is just a tool to line potential snacks up for the lich-queen. Unfortunately, it has most of the 'yanki duped.</p><p>And just like in real fascism, anyone who ceases to be a simpering bootlick for the powers that be—or even the ones who stay loyal but become too big a <i>potential</i> threat—gets quietly disappeared. Only in the githyanki case it involves fewer wetworks squads and more magical soul-sucking by an ancient lich dead-set on achieving godhood.</p><p>But in between the immortal ennui of Tu'narath, savage warfare against their neighbors, and the withered caress of ol' Vlakky, there are a few interesting paths for the githyanki to walk.</p><p>I will get it out of the way now that no, there is no red dragon rider PrC. Huge wasted opportunity, I know. But there's still some interesting and plain odd stuff to pick through.</p><p>I want to note that since I'll be going through so many PrCs in one post, I won't be as exhaustive in my analysis of every class feature like I normally do (or will normally do, when there's more than 1 other post in this series up).</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://srd.dndtools.org/srd/classes/prestigeDunmag/blackweaveWarlock.html">Blackweave Warlock</a></h4><p>All githyanki mages are called warlocks, regardless of specific class. That isn't as confusing as it sounds like it might be, because pretty much all githyanki mages are blasty battle mages anyway; the only difference is the exact spell list they do it with.</p><p>The Blackweave flavor of warlock is an arcanist, usually a sorcerer, specialized in negative energy so that they can deliver the necromancy school's save-or-die and save-or-suck touch spells more effectively. They operate as part of the army, often serving in small-scale missions that involve assassination or terror attacks.</p><p>They also dress like someone tried getting an outfit together for the bondage club but only had access to Hot Topic goth gear and Spirit Halloween merch.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVZFCah9QhwggBkps97kvTMD0X1goVhxHHMQaZKmE6Bg7K0y0UpeV65lIXoANxcB0V0yHX_VfpqVtK-95PSnBebNp7sPTfJgl6bUuVbO4Vxkqy1NejT0CkvsvViQ5QE3WHezMobl47rXIDGYUhd0GlqxPTkeR9exiiFt-hC7UeRqM5ff4E8AvFJNDx/s601/Blackweave%20Warlock.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="601" data-original-width="400" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVZFCah9QhwggBkps97kvTMD0X1goVhxHHMQaZKmE6Bg7K0y0UpeV65lIXoANxcB0V0yHX_VfpqVtK-95PSnBebNp7sPTfJgl6bUuVbO4Vxkqy1NejT0CkvsvViQ5QE3WHezMobl47rXIDGYUhd0GlqxPTkeR9exiiFt-hC7UeRqM5ff4E8AvFJNDx/w266-h400/Blackweave%20Warlock.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"It's not a phase, <i>varth!</i> I was hatched this way!"</td></tr></tbody></table><p>To qualify for the class, one has to be a githyanki, evil, trained in Arcana and Spellcraft up to rank 9, have Spell Focus (Necromancy), know <i>ray of exhaustion</i> and <i>vampiric touch</i>, and have once tortured a living sacrifice to death using only magic, presumably to feed their energy to Vlaakith. The mechanical requirements aren't hard to meet at all, easily gained by 6th level, but the other bits make it extremely niche.</p><p>As does the way in which the class actually works, as you'll soon see.</p><p>The class is 10 levels long with 2+Int skills, Bad/Bad/Good saves, and no additional proficiencies. The skill list is a fairly standard Bluff, Concentration, Intimidate, Arcana, Planes, and Spellcraft. Half of the PrC's features are pretty standard. Boring, even.</p><p>In no particular order they get a choice of Weapon Focus (Touch or Ray), Death Ward, Energy Drain, and up to 3/day Death Touch attacks where the warlock rolls 2d6 per class level and if the sum is equal to or greater than the target's hit points, they die. The reliance on touch attacks is unfortunate, given that most applicants to the class come from the extremely squishy realm of d4 hit points and 1/2 BAB. The Blackweave Warlock offsets this ever so slightly by offering d6 and 3/4ths.</p><p>More curious is the other half of their features.</p><p>Starting at 1st level you get <b>Necromancer</b>, which adds Blackweave Warlock (BwW from here on out) levels to your previous arcane spellcasting class for the purposes of Necromancy spells. At higher levels this becomes BwW+1 and +2. But nowhere does it say you add your BwW levels to <i>any other facet of your previous class</i>. Your overall CL does not go up, nor do you even progress in spellcasting access. For that, you have to turn to...</p><p><b>New Spell Level</b>, gained every 3rd level. This does exactly what it sounds like, granting you the next highest level of spellcasting that you can access. But if you're a sorcerer like most BwWs are, keep in mind you don't actually get new spell picks or spellcasts per day. For <i>that</i> you need to keep track of the <b>Bonus Spells Per Day</b> and <b>Additional Spells Known</b> columns.</p><p>In essence, BwW takes the generic "+1 level of existing arcane class" class feature that we've had since version 3.0 and divides it up into four different abilities. And I can't figure out <i>why</i> they did this. I initially thought that maybe they wanted to speed up advancement in some ways, but the math doesn't shake out that way either.</p><p>Their example character is Khosuvh, who flipflops between sorcerer and wizard depending on the example. Khosuvh is always 1 spell level behind generic sorcerers, and anywhere from 1 to 10 CLs behind them except when casting Necromancy spells, in which case he has a slight edge. If he's a wizard, he starts off 1 spell level behind and then the gap widens to 2 toward the end of the PrC, in addition to the CL falloff.</p><p>Sorcerer!Khosuvh gets 23 bonus spells per day and 17 additional spells known if he sticks with BwW for all 10 levels, which sounds nice at first. But that's actually 7 fewer spells per day and 3 fewer spells known than regular sorcerer progression from levels 7 to 16.</p><p>Wizard!Khosuvh doesn't even benefit from the additional spells known feature, because that's specifically for former sorcerers/bards. He does benefit from the bonus spells per day which amount to <i>slightly</i> more than wizard progression, but keep in mind that all of this spellcasting is done at frozen CLs unless it's from the Necromancy school, which isn't the biggest school by any means.</p><p>Those +2 CL and constant Death Ward are trying to pull way too much slack here, and the melee-range touch effects are more of a liability on an arcane caster than anything. The BwW doesn't deliver too much on its flavor either, though it could have done more. It might have been cool to tie them in some way to the undead that Vlaakith utilizes, or lean into the spec ops terror unit angle, but no such luck.</p><p>I find myself thinking it would be better just to use a base class for the same thematic purpose, and that's a damn shame.</p><p><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://srd.dndtools.org/srd/classes/prestigeDunmag/ghustil.html">Ghustil</a></h4><p style="text-align: left;">Certain natural processes cannot occur on the Astral Plane. This includes natural healing, and aging. How exactly the body can do anything at all while its cells are arrested like that, I don't know. But that's how it works. This lack of natural healing is a particular problem for the Astral-dwelling githyanki, who are often in harm's way and never have clerics of their own, owing to their complete rejection of all deities except for the queen, and treating her like a goddess doesn't actually make her capable of granting spells- <i>yet</i>.</p><p style="text-align: left;">To get around this, the githyanki have a type of magical specialist separate from the warlock or gish, whose job it is to harness astral energy and transform it into healing magic that is neither arcane nor divine in nature. This is the ghustil, one of the hr'a'cknir* caste of noncombatant experts which originally debuted in the 2E Planescape splatbook <i>A Guide to the Astral Plane</i>. I think it's one of the raddest concepts in this whole magazine. It could fundamentally shift the magical paradigm of a whole campaign setting if given focus.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Unfortunately, the ghustil runs into some of the same issues as other partial casting PrCs.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The ghustil must be a githyanki (not necessarily an evil one) with Heal 4, Arcana 8, Planes 8, Skill Focus: Heal, and the ability to cast 2nd-level arcane spells for... some reason? The class fluff pretty explicitly states that their magic is neither divine nor arcane, so I don't understand why they even need arcane expertise to begin with.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Ghustil is 10 levels long with d6 HD, 3/4 BAB, Good/Good/Good Saves, and no new proficiencies. Its skill list is a mix of casting and social skills like the Blackweave Warlock, plus Heal, naturally- as well as Survival, more unexpectedly.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The ghustil has exactly one class feature, which is <b>Spells Per Day/Spells Known</b>. Instead of keying the ghustil's casting ability off of whatever class they entered the PrC with, they instead get an entirely new casting class and spell list that does not stack with whatever they used previously. There are several PrCs out there that do that, and they all kind of feel wasteful. Instead of having the character build upon their previous knowledge and experiences, their new abilities feel disjointed from the whole while the old ones quickly atrophy into uselessness.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Ghustil casting functions similarly to bardic casting, and caps out at 6th level with a rather modest list. They get some useful things like restoration, various condition removals, and raise dead, but for the most part it's a whole lot of Cure X Wounds. When the class fluff says they pale in comparison to clerics, it's not really lying.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Some more features emphasizing the astral nature of this class would have been a really nice touch, but as it is the ghustil feels unfinished. It <i>isn't</i> unfinished, because it accomplishes its stated goal of giving githyanki war parties access to basic healing spells, but it still <i>feels</i> unfinished. Maybe it would have worked better as a variant bard?</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://srd.dndtools.org/srd/classes/prestigeDunmag/gishMindslayer.html">Gish Mindslayer</a></h4><p style="text-align: left;">Perhaps even more quintessential than a githyanki dragonrider is a githyanki gish, the original fighter-mage of D&D if you ignore BECMI elves (and I always do). It's even better if that gish is so singularly devoted to their hatred of illithids that it has become their purpose and calling.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Enter the Mindslayer, an arcane remake of the psionic Illithid Slayer PrC from the <i>Expanded Psionics Handbook</i>.</p><p style="text-align: left;">To become a Gish Mindslayer (GMS), one must first be a githyanki, naturally. Then you need to kill an illithid. Fortunately you don't have to do it solo- you can kill one as part of a party of up to 6 people, which is coincidentally the upper end of average party size. You also need the Track feat, BAB +3, a few skill ranks, and 2nd level spells. Killing a mind flayer aside, the requirements are very easy.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Miraculously, this caster class is well put-together, at least in terms of structure and coherence. Most of that is probably because, as stated, it's a hack of a previously existing PrC from another book, but it's still a welcome change.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The GMS is another 10 level PrC with Full BAB, B/B/G saves, a somewhat light d8 HD, and 4+Int skill points per level, though the skill list is rather modest: Bluff, Concentration, Knowledge (Underdark), Listen, Sense Motive, Spellcraft, Spot, and Survival. There's a variety of class features, there are no dead levels, and we finally see our old friend, the "+1 to existing class" spellcasting column. Unfortunately we don't see them every single level, so a 10th-level GMS will miss out on 4 CLs, not including however many they sacrificed to qualify for the PrC.</p><p style="text-align: left;">It sets out to do one thing, and one thing only: track down and murder illithids. To accomplish this they get a host of abilities to hunt them as favored enemies, sense their presence within 60', resist and retaliate against mental attacks, debuff spell resistance, and even make their brains so unappetizing to mind flayers that they refuse to eat them.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I imagine a lifetime of hateful thinking is a bit like heavy brining or pickling, or the psionic equivalent of whatever they do to make <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A1karl">hákarl</a>.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The class features basically amount to a pile of +2 or +4 bonuses and the ability to force will saves on illithids (or whomever else tried to hit them with a compulsion, mind-affecting effect, psionic attack, etc.) Of course will saves are a mind flayer's best save, so how effective the GMS actually is against their sworn enemy depends on how well they can leverage their other gish abilities.</p><p style="text-align: left;">It's not the most powerful hybrid casting PrC out there, but that's perfectly fine. It's still a solid class that offers more variety than Eldritch Knight or something similar. I also want to focus on how well it delivers on the flavor that it set out to offer. And it does really well at being the most 'yanki class a githyanki ever could yank. Thumbs up, no notes.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://srd.dndtools.org/srd/classes/prestigeDunmag/holocaustWarrior.html">Holocaust Warrior</a></h4><p style="text-align: left;">I really do not understand what made the writer and editor(s) think this was an appropriate name for a class. I know that the word <i>holokaustos</i> has origins in ancient Greek religion and refers to burnt offerings, and that the word's usage was historically varied, even throughout the early 20th century. But using it as the name for a pyromaniac warrior in 2003 just feels tactless. At the very least, it's bad optics on WotC's part.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Shocking, I know.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Anyway, the HW is another mess of a partial casting PrC.</p><p style="text-align: left;">To qualify you must be 'yanki, evil, BAB +5, Fort +4, Will +4, have Concentration 6, Combat Casting, Martial Weapon Proficiency, Spell Focus (Evocation), and the <i>fireball</i> spell. You also must be reduced to 0 HP by fire damage and then revived, either as part of a ritual or just because it kinda happened on the battlefield. Nice of them to let you turn that near-wipe into something more positive(?) I guess.</p><p style="text-align: left;">HW is 10 levels like all the rest, with d8 HD, 3/4ths BAB, G/B/G saves, and 2+Int skills in a pretty standard caster/fighter skill list.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The bonus spells per day and additional spells known columns make their return alongside the ability <b>Incinerator</b>, which lets them add their character level to their HW CL for all [Fire] spells. It's even more limiting in scope than the necromancy spells of the Blackweave Warlock, but at least they let you add your entire character level to it? It's not like these firebugs are going to be using their spell slots for much other than more explosions.</p><p style="text-align: left;">They also gain the ability to give their weapons the <i>flaming</i> property, but only up to 3 times per day, becoming <i>flaming burst</i> at later levels. Each instance lasts for 1 round per character level (again, bringing in synergy from those non-caster levels), and it can apply to melee or ranged weapons. Fire resistance 10 at 4th level grows into fire immunity at 7th, though I feel like that could have come sooner or with more in-between steps.</p><p style="text-align: left;">HW does get a few less fire-obsessed features in the form of <b>Improved Combat Casting (Ex)</b> and <b>Armored Casting (Ex)</b>, respectively. The former lets you switch to provoking an Attack of Opportunity at +4 AC if your concentration check to cast defensively fails, giving you a second shot at avoiding fizzling. The latter shaves 10% arcane spell failure off any armor you wear, letting you really rock that mithral chain shirt without having to shell out for a <i>twilight</i> enchantment or something similar. Small but nice features for a gish that I'd like to have seen in more classes.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The capstone is <b>Burn (Su)</b>, which turns every weapon they hold into a <i>flaming</i> weapon (though they can still use that other ability to make it <i>burst</i>), and also causes struck foes or melee strikers to catch on fire. Unfortunately this is the Catching on Fire rule from the DMG, so the worst it deals is 1d6 damage a round for 1d4 rounds, or one move action to self-extinguish. It feels... underwhelming? Like a big AoE burst or firestorm might have felt more satisfying after a minimum 18 levels invested in this PrC and its prerequisites.</p><p style="text-align: left;">... Speaking of which, there should be no max-level HWs at all, anywhere, because Vlaakith would've already pounded their soul down like a flaming martini at happy hour once they pass 16. And good luck trying to go renegade and lie low when your entire existence up to this point has been about lighting things on fire. You are the loudest, flashiest berk this side of Xaositects.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I may be treating the class a little unfairly. They aren't <i>all</i> mad pyros. The githyanki see fire as the symbol of their ultimate triumph over the universe, and the HW gish is respected for that. But if any class could be axed to make room for a githyanki dragonrider, it's this one.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Mlar</h4><p style="text-align: left;">I can't actually find this class printed anywhere outside of the magazine in which it's mentioned, but fortunately there is not a whole lot to it that I need to reproduce here.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The mlar is not a PrC, but an NPC class representing the vast artisan caste of the githyanki cities. They are the skilled builders and crafters of 'yanki society who keep the corsair fleets shipshape, the weapons sharp, and the works of art at least passable. It is also the only base class in the entire game, to my knowledge, that caps out at 16th level. I realize this was probably done from a narrative point of view so that commoners aren't among those who are mighty enough to be worthy of draining by Vlaakith, but I like to think they're the only 'yanki who have the common sense to stop where they are and say "nah, I'm good" when faced with the prospect of soul draining.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The mlar is quite similar to the Magewright NPC class in the <i>Eberron Campaign Setting</i> published a year later. Both are noncombatant crafters with access to very limited arcane magic, consisting mostly of utility spells. The main difference is that mlars are more durable and skilled (d6 HD, 3/4ths BAB, 4+Int skills), while Magewrights have access to <i>far</i> more spells. The mlar spell list is literally just one spell per level, from <i>magic weapon</i> up to <i>major creation</i>.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://srd.dndtools.org/srd/classes/prestigeDunmag/swordStalker.html">Sword Stalker</a></h4><p style="text-align: left;">Here's a suggestion: if a set of objects is so prized to your culture that you will go on a universe-spanning manhunt to track down and kill anyone who dares steal even one of them, maybe don't put them someplace where they're in pretty good danger of getting stolen to begin with?</p><p style="text-align: left;">Because that's the situation with githyanki silver swords, which they've been preciously guarding ever since 1st edition. And with good reason; silver swords are pretty cool. They're +3 great- or longswords whose blades shift and shimmer like quicksilver, constantly rebalancing themselves for their wielder's attacks. They can also cut the silver cords of astral travelers, which is pretty much instant death for most visitors on githyanki home turf, the Astral Plane. Particularly strong ones are +5 and have <i>vorpal</i>.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But they seem to get handed out like candy to any githyanki knight or warrior above a certain level, and they get stolen or looted off of dead off-plane githwarriors regularly enough that the Sword Stalkers exist as an institution in the first place. It's a case of messed-up priorities, but one which it is admittedly 100% in-character for the githyanki to suffer from.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The githyanki Sword Stalker has among the higher requirements of all the PrCs in this post. They need BAB +6, Knowledge (The Planes) 8 ranks, Survival 7 ranks, the Alertness and Track feats, and access to <i>3rd</i> level arcane casting. They must be githyanki, and also evil, because they're the kind of unhinged repo agent who will break your fence or tow your car away with you still in it.</p><p style="text-align: left;">They must also retrieve a silver sword. It doesn't say that this is done as part of an initiation, or as the conclusion to an apprenticeship, or anything. Before you can be a sword stalker, you need to retrieve a sword. Which means you can only join them once they've demonstrated that they're not doing their jobs, because otherwise a newbie with none of their sword-locating abilities wouldn't have found one in the first place.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Again, screwy priorities with this class.</p><p style="text-align: left;">For once we've got a PrC that isn't afraid to use a d10 HD, plus Full BAB, all Good saves, and 6+Int skills points in a very ranger-esque class skill list, minus the handle animal or nature bits. It's a good chassis to base a planar hunter on.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Less good is starting class features off with something that is hardly worth half a feat. <b>Improved Alertness (Ex)</b> at 1st level grants +2 to Spot and Listen, stacking with regular Alertness. But after that false start we get to the bread and butter of the PrC.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Mirroring the Mindslayer in sheer singlemindedness, the Sword Stalker's abilities all revolve around finding missing silver swords. At 1st level they gain <b>Locate Object (Sp)</b> at will at class level +2, but only for silver swords. At 5th level they can <b>Scry Sword (Sp)</b> at will which can also scry on the carrier of a stolen sword if they fail their save. Finally at 10th level they get <b>Discern Location (Sp)</b> 3/day as a 16th level sorcerer, but again only for stolen silver swords. And to make sure they can actually do something once they track down a thief, they can <b>Smite Swordthief (Su)</b> starting at 2nd level, up to 5/day. It works just like any other smite attack, but with a flat +4 in place of any ability score modifier to hit.</p><p style="text-align: left;">More generally useful, and far more interesting in my opinion, is their <b>Astral Tracking (Su)</b> ability, which allows them to track normally even on the trackless expanse of the Astral Sea for a base 25 DC Survival check. How many classes let you track in the void of space? Against DC 30 they can discern the destination point of a teleportation spell cast nearby, and then <i>dimension door</i> after the caster like one of the religious fanatics from that <i>Jumper</i> book that got turned into a Hayden Christensen movie. And considering again how much you can juice skill bonuses in 3E, this feature seems pretty dang reliable.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Observant readers might've noticed that this PrC calls for knowledge of 3rd level spells, but doesn't actually give you anything for it. Even the Ghustil had a flimsy excuse of needing "magical expertise" to do their astral thing, but the Sword Stalker? Nothing. Everything they get is a spell-like ability, and that's a huge waste of at minimum 5 levels in wizard. Like the Ghustil, I think Sword Stalker would've benefitted from just being a class variant; a sort of quasi spell-less ranger, in this case. Or heck, just a regular ranger with their spells made arcane, and this stuff piled on top. 3E rangers kinda needed the help.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Closing Thoughts</h4><p style="text-align: left;">I might sound peeved or disappointed throughout much of this post, but I'm not, not really. More than anything I'm surprised that such a long list of githyanki-exclusive content made it into print like this. And while some of it stumbles (and stumbles <i>hard</i>), some of it is conceptually very neat. A little bit of modding with later balance sensibilities in mind could produce some really solid, flavorful character options.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Still needs a bespoke dragon rider class, though.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">* As someone who is prone to using and perhaps overusing apostrophes in his fantasy names, I'm relieved that I'm at least not as bad as whoever came up with the Gith language. From g'hel'zor to tl'a'ikith to g"lathk (yes that's a fricking <i>quotation mark</i> in there), Gith has no shortage of weird punctuation. I've always justified myself by saying I only use them for glottal stops or for agglutinating languages, but those schemes don't seem to fit any of this. I really want to hear someone pronounce some Gith words. Do they show up anywhere in that there Baldur's Gate III game by chance?</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-90862036064999802592023-04-12T07:26:00.003-04:002023-04-12T07:26:35.363-04:00Bridgetown is live on Kickstarter!<p>First of all, sorry for my absence this past month-and-a-half or so. I haven't exactly been busy <i>writing</i>, but I've been busy as in mentally preoccupied by the launch of our book's Kickstarter campaign, which happened two days ago.</p><p><a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/technicalgrimoire/bridgetown-a-pastoral-liminal-rpg-setting">Come check out and maybe back Bridgetown here!</a></p><p>To recap, Bridgetown is a campaign setting designed for Troika! about an infinitely long, perpetually crumbling bridge floating between two oblivions. There's all manner of punks and weirdos living on the Bridge, and there are always hijinks and adventures to get up to. Like casting rock magic that may or may not be killing the Bridge, or smashing a gatekeeper in the face with a brick.</p><p>My cowriter (The Lawful Neutral) and I will also be doing an interview about Bridgetown later today for WIP Workshop by RPGs Uncovered. It will start at around 7PM EST. Check out their <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/rpgsuncovered">Twitch</a> and you might catch us live, or browse their <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@RPGsUncovered">YouTube channel</a> in a few days for the VOD.</p><p>And to those of you who get backer anxiety about parting with money for something that might not even fund (especially in this economy!) I have one thing to say; fret not. We were blown away by the surge of support in our first day, and are now comfortably funded. Anything you decide to send our way is pure bonus acorns. I'm just sorry to report that our higher tier rewards like mossy dice and billy goat balm have all been snatched up.</p><p>That's all for this little update. I <b>will</b> be back to making normal posts later this week. I have so, so many mostly-finished drafts that it's actually starting to become a problem. The purge must commence. Hope you enjoy them!</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-84530241664243579172023-02-26T20:50:00.001-05:002023-02-26T21:03:11.951-05:00Let's Dig Into: Dragonstar<p>Thank you to Kyana for telling me about today's topic, Dragonstar! I was originally going to make this a 3E OdditE post before I decided the whole book merited going over.</p><p>(Also I've decided to change "Furt Digs Into" to "Let's Dig Into" because I feel like I spam my name enough around here and it's starting to feel a little self-involved. It's not like I have a brand to market- <i>yet</i>.)</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1oS-Gc8s4tnc8OAQFMLBnk19SUhcY9c6wwkFiCLJhc9iOWFtxpOJ84YTezmKQeiwEANFOZFg-ix28ICIfSqtMH0Ru4Eyk9VRC3F2g_6Nc_pgblGs5USFqxjT8MLvQmzHYIo6YFrI8KlR8wSumBGVmh0X8KvkeZmwTljg9enPSQo_l8bh_bDtr1CM7/s1946/Dragonstar.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1349" data-original-width="1946" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1oS-Gc8s4tnc8OAQFMLBnk19SUhcY9c6wwkFiCLJhc9iOWFtxpOJ84YTezmKQeiwEANFOZFg-ix28ICIfSqtMH0Ru4Eyk9VRC3F2g_6Nc_pgblGs5USFqxjT8MLvQmzHYIo6YFrI8KlR8wSumBGVmh0X8KvkeZmwTljg9enPSQo_l8bh_bDtr1CM7/w400-h278/Dragonstar.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p>Between TSR's discontinuation of Spelljammer and the launch of Pathfinder's soft sci-fi spinoff Starfinder, there was a proliferation of small science-fantasy settings for d20 and other systems, all trying to fill a niche that wasn't completely dominated by a triple-A publisher.</p><p>One of these was Dragonstar, published by Fantasy Flight Games in 2001. It ran for a few years before being quietly discontinued somewhere between 2007 and 2008, coinciding with the end of the 3rd edition that it was created for. The website still functions and you can purchase pretty much everything digitally these days, though I don't believe the dedicated forums exist anymore.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Intro</h4><p>We are introduced to the world (actually galaxy) of Dragonstar by a long first-person exposition by one John Caspian, a shoutout-tastic exiled prince originally from a relatively ordinary world in the style of standardized western faux-medieval fantasy. He was a typical adventurer with hopes, dreams, and a kingdom to reclaim, until the day the sky split open and spaceships bombarded every major city on the planet into submission. The emperor was executed by the invaders, his daughter was installed as figurehead, and the entire planet was summarily turned into another province of the galactic Dragon Empire.</p><p>Caspian delivers this exposition to a rookie years later, as they now both serve in that same empire's Imperial Legions as conscripts. Their new lot in life is to bring that same overwhelming firepower and iron-fisted ultimatum to bear on other worlds. It's a bit like waking up one morning to find the Imperium of Man from Warhammer 40k at your doorstep ready to 'adopt' your world, but more cosmopolitan and with fewer alt-right memes. The legionnaires do this either voluntarily or at gunpoint, in exchange for the promises of citizenship, adventure, and other perks in a rather Roman twist.</p><p>Caspian laments much of what has been done and continues to be done, but it's evident that this is the new normal for him. His way of understanding the universe completely disintegrated when his world was conquered by offworlders he'd never fathomed the existence of before. His way of coping with it, of surviving, was the same as it is for so many others when their world gets blown wide open: accept it, try to survive, and maybe find a new place for yourself among the stars.</p><p>Assuming the DM introduces Dragonstar to your campaign by starting it off as a traditional fantasy world only to swerve into a sci-fi invasion, new PCs might do well to heed his advice. Or maybe they should reject it entirely and flee for the planetary or galactic fringes ASAP- the last thing we need is another gods-damned collaborator becoming a cog in this scaly, imperial machine.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">The Empire</h4><p>The Dragon Empire is exactly what it sounds like; an empire ruled by dragons.</p><p>As some of the most magically powerful creatures in the galaxy it was inevitable that they'd eventually take to the stars. (One piece of info omitted from Caspian's history lesson is that space flight was actually invented by a gnomish confederation long before dragons got in on it.) In doing so, they discovered that there are other dragons who are similarly powerful but out numbered on other planets. Eventually they began to band together, in interplanetary kingdoms that were divided (unsurprisingly) by subtype.</p><p>The metallic kingdom of Qesemet and the chromatic kingdom of Asamet ("golden kingdom" and "iron kingdom", respectively) soon came to blows over their apparently inborn differences and started a war that wiped out entire planets, with plenty of mortals getting caught in the middle. Billions died as little more than footnotes in the histories of these two expanding superpowers. After all, individual differences aside, both kingdoms were built on the idea of draconic supremacy.</p><p>Only the near-extinction of the neutral yellow dragons due to some unknown catastrophe convinced the others to hammer out a peace. Otherwise, they feared, dragons would all wipe themselves out. After a lot of bickering and politicking, the kingdoms merged together into a single Empire (no fancy draconic name for this one, I'm afraid) where sections of the galaxy are <i>de facto</i> controlled by various houses and other factions within the greater whole, all of them nominally on the same side.</p><p>Part of what glued the empire together to begin with was a power-sharing agreement between the different colors of dragon. Each dragon "house" was allowed to rule for 1,000 years with an elected leader acting as emperor, after which point they handed the reins over to the next color in the chain of succession. It's the first use of rotating monarchy I've seen in a fantasy world, to my memory.</p><p>The empire began with the gold dragons under the empire's founder, Khelorn. Then over the next 5,000 years it went to the silvers, bronzes, brasses, and coppers, before we reach the rulers of the modern day- red dragons, led by the ancient red wyrm Mezzenbone.</p><p>The non-dragon subjects of the empire were sold on the idea that they'd get 5,000 years of peace when it all started, and they did. But now their descendants have to suffer the consequences of that agreement- not that they would have been able to do all that much against their unified dragon overlords if they wanted to.</p><p>The transfer of power was peaceful, and Mezzenbone didn't immediately declare himself emperor for life, but problems quickly emerged under the reign of the first of the chromatic dragons. Mezzenbone is unrepentantly evil, but it remains to be seen whether he is "merely" a tyrant who promotes war abroad while curbing rights and liberties back home, or if he's dedicated to the destruction of every bit of peace and stability that has come to the galaxy in spite of the machinations of dragons. He adored the mayhem of the Dragon War, after all. He has been in power for less than 100 years so far, which means only 900+ more to go before we get a palate cleanser in the form of the blue dragons.</p><p>This is the era players are dropped into, as a millennia-long status quo crumbles away into a time of danger and uncertainty. The metallics and chromatics both <i>knew</i> something like this might happen when the empire was founded. But when you're so privileged and live for so many tens of thousands of years that just waiting a millennium for the guy you don't like to leave office is no big deal, it's easy to overlook countless generations of mortal life.</p><p>It's not all a Dune-esque tale of feudal space darkness, though. This is still D&D, usable with all of the genre contortions that you can fit it into. There are still wizards, halflings, and bards. There just also happen to be battleships, space marines, and all manner of other sci-fi trappings mixed in. It doesn't do retro swashbuckling like Spelljammer did because the technology is more advanced, but that opens up other avenues in turn. It can be rather space operatic at times.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Worldbuilding & Religion</h4><p>One of the most interesting parts of Dragonstar to me is how it incorporates the sameyness of early 2000s fantasy settings into the world-building. It's another universe where no matter where you go, what planet you visit, you can find a civilization of dwarves that speak dwarvish, elves that speak elvish, humans who speak some mutually intelligible dialect of common, etc.- except in this universe, it confuses the <i>hell</i> out of scholars.</p><p>The implausibility of this seeming fact of life has been wondered at for a while, and people have tried to address it and provide several explanations for it over the centuries. Their current most popular answer? Deific panspermia.</p><p>According to the Unification Church (the dominant religion in the empire), there were once twelve incredibly powerful beings who traveled the cosmos, ordering planets and seeding them with prefab life that always seems to develop in roughly the same way. Each of these beings embodied different concepts that keen observers now see (or perhaps <i>try</i> to see) mixed and matched in every deity worshiped across the galaxy: every god is just a reflection of one or more of these primordial "Deitypes", as the church calls them. Naturally, dragons consider themselves the favored children of these gods, and claim to act in their name (when it is politically advantageous to do so).</p><p>Deitypes are essentially a fantasy reimagining of real-life methods of religious and cultural comparison like <i>Interpretatio Graeca</i> or <i>Romana</i>, whereby one society attempts to understand other societies by relating similar parts of their belief systems to their own- essentially translating their gods and myths into a more recognizable language.</p><p>Up to a certain point, this is religious syncretism (and/or multi-traditionalism) like you get whenever you put two or more cultures in direct contact with one another. But when the group applying this interpretation is also a massively powerful, hegemonic force, it also affects real one-way change upon the subject of interpretation. This is clearly visible in Dragonstar, where the vast majority of the empire's citizens follow the Unification Church and either worship the pantheon of the Twelve, or worship local gods that have long since been given the deitype treatment.</p><p>There are two exceptions to this rule. The first is barbarians. The barbarian class actually gets a whole new rule about how they <i>never</i> abandon their old gods or refer to them using generic Unification titles. Barbarians are also typed as backwater folks from the galactic fringes who are decidedly unusual for their steadfast dedication to the old ways. That shows how profoundly the church (and the empire that indirectly promotes it) has shaped religion and the way people conceive of it; it is epistemic violence on a nearly galactic scale, and it's getting a little bit closer to becoming absolute with every new planetary conquest.</p><p>The second exception is Dualists. They are the largest minority religion in the empire, who responded to the reductionism of Unification with an even more radical reductionism of their own. They developed a sort of Zarathustran dualism where everything in the cosmos is reflective of the conflict between the generative Creator (typed as good) and the destructive Adversary (evil). This "Dualist Heresy" is divided between those who side with one or the other, and the so-called purists who venerate the oppositional totality of things. I like to imagine the purists approach it in a manner similar to dharmic cyclical transformation or Daoist radical acceptance, rather than the erratically swinging pendulum flavor of True Neutral that druids were saddled with in the old days.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Species</h4><p>As hinted at above, all of the standard D&D species can be found across the Dragon Empire and beyond. Each gets a few additional features that interact with Dragonstar's unique skills or technologies, but otherwise they are unchanged from their base game forms in either mechanics or temperament. Dwarves are still miners, except nowadays they're likely to do it on asteroids, etc.</p><p>The core list was expanded for Dragonstar, adding a few more playable options to explore the vast expanse of space with- these include drow and orcs, the half-dragon template, and a brand new "race" called soulmechs.</p><p>Drow are still just as problematic as ever, except in the Dragonstar galaxy an appreciable number of them have traded in their spider silk lingerie for a black leather coat and a pair of jackboots. Drow comprise almost the entire Imperial Secret Police Directorate, and they serve Mezzenbone by rooting out perceived threats to the emperor like good little fascists. In this universe they still worship the Spider Goddess (Lolth with the serial number filed off), who is identified as a mixture of the Mother and Destroyer deitypes.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ4p6XGLhJEW-1rtJrG-svFA-GcfWuTFW0EesfGXmZeXMqwBEybyPoZYobsQM0tFsegpx0f6B5la7wZwl_aTU9Hi7zfPdEWC3-Ekg88BUkht4YeexkecGtFA1YPkmtaDxLTYIgREzHGijN3xmnzevUcLFvrSZogAT9_3qMPTSkSubH9dIEe54piOEZ/s2700/Dragonstar%20Drow.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2700" data-original-width="939" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ4p6XGLhJEW-1rtJrG-svFA-GcfWuTFW0EesfGXmZeXMqwBEybyPoZYobsQM0tFsegpx0f6B5la7wZwl_aTU9Hi7zfPdEWC3-Ekg88BUkht4YeexkecGtFA1YPkmtaDxLTYIgREzHGijN3xmnzevUcLFvrSZogAT9_3qMPTSkSubH9dIEe54piOEZ/w139-h400/Dragonstar%20Drow.png" width="139" /></a></div><p>Orcs are, well... orcs. Still mostly chaotic evil, still mostly worshipers of war deities. They do get a little attention paid to their overall zest for life, however; drinking, dancing, feasting, and celebrating <i>all</i> their emotions, not just the violent and destructive ones, is how they live. Additionally, orc women are given a shred of interiority by flocking in growing numbers to more cosmopolitan areas of the empire because they won't live like borderline-chattel the way traditional orcish society expects them to.</p><p>Reading that part, I was remound of the sizeable population of orc and half-orc women that cropped up in Forgotten Realms' Phsant after some Zhentish orcs helped defeat the Tuigan Horde and got a taste for "civilization". Since Mezzenbone came to power, fringe orcs have started warmongering and invading neighboring planets that were previously considered more off-limits because of their membership in the empire. Mezzy boy is more than happy for that, because it gives the sensationalist media a bigger controversy to pay attention to, leaving him free to pursue his own authoritarian schemes.</p><p>... I don't like how accurate to real life that has become in the decades since Dragonstar was published.</p><p>Half-dragons here are as rough on a character's ECL as they are in base D&D, but they get some pretty big nonmechanical perks for living in the <i>Dragon</i> Empire. Even under the metallic dragons it was a highly stratified society, with dragons at the top and dragon-blooded creatures directly below them. Half-dragons enjoy a lot of social privilege compared to other humanoids, and more than a few of them are the spoiled illegitimate children of powerful dragon house members, unable to ever ascend to politics but free to tug at their parents' purse strings.</p><p>Soulmechs are Dragonstar's answer to the question of sentient AI. You cannot create a truly self-aware artificial intelligence using only technology- at least not yet. Instead, you can create a fully functional android body and then stuff a person's soul into it at the time of death to act as its pilot and guiding intelligence.</p><p>The process is expensive and time-consuming, but results in an effectively immortal body with almost all the abilities one had in the flesh. Unsurprisingly, a lot of rich people do this to cheat death. Some heinous crimes against humanoidity can also be committed on unwilling subjects of the soul transfer process. We're talking some real Black Mirror type stuff.</p><p>Soulmechs are notable, to me at least, for not falling into the whole "cybernetics eat your soul" trope. They suffer a -2 to Charisma from their new bodies, but they are still living things who are not prone to cold, calculated insanity or anything else that some sci-fi writers like to throw at the question of transhumanity. They're also pretty well-integrated into the empire at large, with only staunch traditionalist elves and drow seeming to have a problem with them- and even then, it's more a distaste for the unnatural ritual involved in the soulmech's creation, rather than the soulmech as an individual.</p><p>There are other species detailed in the supplement <i>Galactic Races</i>. Some them which are introductions of core species to the universe like centaurs, derro, and kobolds. Others are slight variations on common D&D species like the elems, who are like genasi except born from external planar influence instead of outsider ancestry. Others are more unique to Dragonstar, like the ith-kon mindflayer hybrids, living crystal tarn idoun, sapient ooze ulb, or the quasta, which I can only describe as hyper-inquisitive bird people crossed with one of the angels from the book of Ezekiel.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPtr1EkdfVBdhsgjknwMPWFhrqFu-l4CETZj9EueDivrPWaAkmQU9oA2D-Klb0RZaEZ7impwn6jsi4LM2Q5FsF0GKtpjJb9vtWL18koNfcMCihleIKRGCMjOXV7gGoCteYRQ8UiXb44SusqwjgXtJIaCfQ8jMA8sohFtlpjNhVSxuxiLz2uVib2fZh/s389/Quasta.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="322" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPtr1EkdfVBdhsgjknwMPWFhrqFu-l4CETZj9EueDivrPWaAkmQU9oA2D-Klb0RZaEZ7impwn6jsi4LM2Q5FsF0GKtpjJb9vtWL18koNfcMCihleIKRGCMjOXV7gGoCteYRQ8UiXb44SusqwjgXtJIaCfQ8jMA8sohFtlpjNhVSxuxiLz2uVib2fZh/w331-h400/Quasta.png" width="331" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Be not afrai- ooh, what does <i>this</i> button do?"</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>Oruks are another entry in that book that I want to give a bit of attention here. They're ogre-orc crossbreeds who have since become a viable and self-sustaining people. They're even worse pariahs than half-orcs, and either stay isolated on their "primitive" home worlds or go adventuring out of desperation. Instead of the usual no-downsides hybrid vigor or the creepy anti-miscegenation tropes that mixed groups get in a lot of D&D-derivative games, oruks get a mixed bag.</p><p>They are Large like their ogre ancestors, very strong and sturdy, and able to take feats to give themselves natural armor and higher strength checks. But their dense bone structure and thick skin cause them to suffer from poor lung capacity- they can't ever breathe quite enough to keep their massive bodies running smoothly. It's a very weird, very isolated instance of the writers nodding to the square-cube law as it applies to living things, in a game where giants and tarrasques regularly run around without collapsing under their own weight.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Classes</h4><p>Core classes are mechanically unchanged, with the exception of small additions like skill lists or language on how new proficiencies work- fighters can take various gun-related feats as their bonus feats, for example. There are technological weapons and armor with a section dedicated to them, including high-tech versions of normal weapons, as well as vehicles and other devices that fall under the purview of two new classes; the pilot and mechanist.</p><p>Pilots are dedicated to, well, piloting the various vehicles and mechs that Dragonstar has to offer. I would have expected them to receive more than 4+Int skill points per level or to receive a class bonus to piloting, but no such luck- not that cheesing skills is hard in 3rd edition. Instead, their class abilities are dedicated to combat bonuses while piloting vehicles; dodge AC, to-hit, increased critical threat range with guns, speed, x/day damage reducing dodge actions, and bonus feats for more piloting tricks and bonuses.</p><p>Aside from the limited-use dodge maneuvers, the features are extremely passive numerical buffs. That's <i>probably</i> fine since vehicles themselves have a whole dedicated rules system to make up for any lack of depth and choice that the class offers, but by itself the pilot feels like a beefier NPC class than one intended for PCs. Outside of their machines, they get almost nothing- d6 HD, light armor, martial weapons, 3/4ths BAB, and bad/good/bad saves.</p><p>Mechanists are Dragonstar's glorified mechanics, but they are not quite as narrow in usefulness as Pilots. They get skills and trapfinding like a rogue, bonus feats, can specialize in types of technology like a ranger can terrains, two different abilities to jury-rig or temporarily unjam technological devices out in the field, an offensive sabotage ability, and can provide +1 through to +5 upgrades to any piece of tech at no cost. Upgraded tech is more prone to failure and harder to repair, but mechanists can make that all go away with a Repair check, and again, it's not hard to get skill modifiers crazy-high in 3E. As with pilots, mechanists like fish out of water when not specifically doing their respective machine thing- Tier 4, both of them, if I was to give a preliminary ranking.</p><p>I was struck by how open-ended the sabotage ability is. There's no daily limit, it's presumably only a standard action, and the DC to use it is a flat 20 no matter what you want. As long as you are in touch range and can make the check, you can disable one function of a device. Make it so a rifle can't fire, stop a hovertank in its (lack of) tracks, or deal scaling damage to a soulmech. Granted, you have to be in melee range and an enemy mechanist can undo your sabotage with a quick repair, but with surprise and/or planning you can absolutely cripple enemy machines or spread mayhem.</p><p>(One quick aside related to technology, since we're on the topic:</p><p>When I got to the weapons, power armor, and vehicles, I was shocked to find that there was no malfunction system like you'd get in later d20 games like Pathfinder. Things just do the things they're built to do without fear of catastrophic failure or explosions, barring the work of saboteurs or Plot. It simplifies things in a way that I don't dislike, especially in a game with a mechanist class. Because if the majority of the party's gear can break, it <i>will</i> break, and that would both make the mechanist absolutely necessary for a tolerable pace of play, and make it a very boring class to play. All they'd do every encounter is hotfix guns jammed by yet another full-auto attack.)</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">For the Prestige</h4><p>The handbook also adds a few prestige classes, as any 3rd party splat worth its salt (and many that are not) does. These are the Gundancer, Negotiator, and Technomancer, all of them 10 levels long.</p><p>Gundancers are warrior-monks who have embraced the way of shooting people in the face. They even get a 1st-level class feature called <i>Gun-Fu</i> that makes them harder to disarm, as well as immune to AoOs while wielding light firearms in threatened spaces. They also get abilities to shoot better (surprise surprise), disarm enemies and shoot them in the faces with their own guns, steady their aim, become affected by <i>haste</i> 1/day, unleash a barrage of shots at everything in range 1/day, and absorb (and inexplicably <i>heal</i> from) a shot from an energy weapon 1/day.</p><p>The limited-use abilities are flavorful but too limiting, as is almost always the case. The concept of a Gun-Fu monk is redeemingly hilarious though. It's one of the parts of this book that dips into the pink mohawk style of Shadowrun tropes, and I'm kind of into it. Play this class if you want to be like the gun-kata guy from Equilibrium- the movie, not the German power metal band.</p><p>Negotiators are diplomancers who can be equally professional or sleazy, depending on player action. They get a mess of abilities to speak any given language when it's needed, alter people's reactions to them, detect lies, scrying, and surveillance, use the power of suggestion, and eventually read people's minds while being resistant to the same.</p><p>But most importantly, they gain the ability to Take 10 on bluff, diplomacy, intimidate, <i>and</i> sense motive checks at 1st level. This is the ultimate dip for anyone looking to push their charisma to the next level in a Dragonstar campaign. Just have a contingency plan for when the DM wizens up and starts throwing robots and other social-immune foes at you.</p><p>Technomancers merge the Dragon Empire's "twin pillars" of magic and machine, as the book puts it. Dragons are natural sorcerers and massive nerds both, so this makes sense. Technomancers are mechanists who have enough arcane magical talent to empower their tools and let them mess with the properties of nearby technology.</p><p>This ranges from changing the energy type of a weapon, to confusing and dominating robots, to turning themselves into code and hijacking a nearby vehicle. They also get some energy- and utility-themed half-casting. It doesn't stack with whatever class they got 1st-level arcane spells from for the requirements though, so this PrC is far better for a mechanist than for a wizard.</p><p>They are also the most Shadowrun-ass thing I've ever seen, if this art is anything to go by.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwLwJE0JEU4blzTT6DuKnf5SvUUNpMVxvNIli6wx0kFuw3Th_ZNyBIuX82wtwVFbw3VVyQY1lfMP-BnoHH3lX7Ehgzx5IgMBed0_lNE6-1Iq42RTThlWVztHz4n0if6Re25pCGg97GA7n7PTkFTp0gCIHFoqGoacs40kjJQidmydV6NJY7Syr80549/s647/Technomancer.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="647" data-original-width="226" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwLwJE0JEU4blzTT6DuKnf5SvUUNpMVxvNIli6wx0kFuw3Th_ZNyBIuX82wtwVFbw3VVyQY1lfMP-BnoHH3lX7Ehgzx5IgMBed0_lNE6-1Iq42RTThlWVztHz4n0if6Re25pCGg97GA7n7PTkFTp0gCIHFoqGoacs40kjJQidmydV6NJY7Syr80549/w140-h400/Technomancer.png" width="140" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"<i>I'm in.</i>"</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>There are a few other books in the Dragonstar line that I might look into later if I've missed something juicy, but I'm pretty content with this delve, and I hope you liked it too.</p><p><b>*Update*</b></p><p>I can't believe I neglected to mention the part where wizards have datapads instead of spellbooks, and they can wirelessly transfer or download them off of the internet. Scrolls are basically magical PDFs that self-destruct when you cast them. Rogues and mechanists can hack a spellbook if its malware protection isn't up to snuff. It's goofy and I love it.</p><p>That is all.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277016605686015145.post-1510391486155169932023-02-25T15:40:00.001-05:002023-02-25T15:40:38.445-05:00The One Where Furt Gets Pedantic and Trashes A Beloved Fantasy Illustration<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWScrMF0bMnHkt8bcm4c_oKr0WNPgpNJdT3CTI8lI1N9nsPw8IK_V_utlynXzsLdLxNCdoffmYC6Y88NnPMLvoawmSUbk36lneXnRLxVC-HLvcrRP1L33kUPP2_3GlR19Mh87uCFceG19Jdt5k1zYDU77XIwNuTUDqWvbH8GTfFHjWLjkbWfjtn21d/s2933/lf.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2933" data-original-width="2334" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWScrMF0bMnHkt8bcm4c_oKr0WNPgpNJdT3CTI8lI1N9nsPw8IK_V_utlynXzsLdLxNCdoffmYC6Y88NnPMLvoawmSUbk36lneXnRLxVC-HLvcrRP1L33kUPP2_3GlR19Mh87uCFceG19Jdt5k1zYDU77XIwNuTUDqWvbH8GTfFHjWLjkbWfjtn21d/w319-h400/lf.jpg" width="319" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dragonslayers & Proud Of It<br />Larry Elmore, 1989</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: left;">Note, this is no slight against Elmore's style or the people who like his art. His Dragonlance work still shapes how I imagine that world, and I'm also fond of his work for Everquest, even if his stuff isn't as iconic to the franchise as Keith Parkinson's. I just happen to have developed a sudden and inexplicably intense dislike for <i>this</i> picture in particular.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>Dragonslayers & Proud Of It</i> is the first piece of art one sees after cracking open a copy of the non-revised edition of the AD&D 2E Player's Handbook, excluding the Jeff Easley knight on the cover. It depicts a party of adventurers--two fighters, a magic-user, a cleric, and some sort of elf archer (perhaps a thief?)-- who have just become the illustration's namesakes. The adventurers display their kill, each one posing around the dead dragon as it hangs from a tree in some scenic wilderness. Some of the adventurers gaze at the trophy while others look at the viewer, almost as if they are staging a portrait or photo for the occasion.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The piece was instantly iconic, partly because of how effectively it communicates a goal for any new players to strive for. These are low- to middling-level adventurers with no obvious magic items or ridiculous plate armor, which makes them only a few steps above what a brand new party begins at. But they are a <i>successful</i> party with bruises and rewards to show for it; models for an eager newbie to aspire to to be like. 'With grit, teamwork, and a lot of dice luck,' the piece seems to boast, '<i>you too</i> could survive long enough to kill a dragon and take its stuff!'</p><p style="text-align: left;">It just doesn't do it for me, though. And here's why.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I'll be talking about it a <i>lot</i> more down below, but for now I'll say there's something scrawny and pathetic about the dragon that just doesn't inspire a sense of wonder in me. It's tiny, as far as dragons go, and savaged by the party's collective injuries to it.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Similarly puny is the "hoard" that your eye is drawn to see after passing down over the dragon's carcass. And I mean, look at this thing.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgofwvIfOzFEh2J1MPIcZvdsTQiAVE2KapmxnYG5wEFR42325ScMkirWTh-d963j8UfdHzY09Cn16xfWx7-FQTIreW3YHNi7aFKvVtK1pYgdjhs8-NbBnQKULNdnr8fm-mH1nrM2Hc4GczWm7AZWEIencVHRegwfA1T97R90NWKgOyjEGztatKK6QWV/s300/Tomato%20Crate.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgofwvIfOzFEh2J1MPIcZvdsTQiAVE2KapmxnYG5wEFR42325ScMkirWTh-d963j8UfdHzY09Cn16xfWx7-FQTIreW3YHNi7aFKvVtK1pYgdjhs8-NbBnQKULNdnr8fm-mH1nrM2Hc4GczWm7AZWEIencVHRegwfA1T97R90NWKgOyjEGztatKK6QWV/s1600/Tomato%20Crate.png" width="300" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">I see a corroded old crown with missing jewels, something that might have once been a goblet or maybe an emblem of some sort, and then a bunch of silver and (if I'm being generous with the color) gold coins. It all fits in a box the size of one of those vintage tomato crates you still sometimes find in rural stores, which only serves to highlight how small it is. Unless they were on a quest to find that crown for a wealthy heir, I think this box barely contains enough treasure to buy a set of banded mail for one of the fighters.</p><p style="text-align: left;">And I don't want to seem like I'm deliberately avoiding the alternate interpretation that the contents of this piece are deliberately humble, to contrast with the reactions of the party and make the title ironic. Modest accomplishment met with wide-eyed enthusiasm by novice, green-behind-the-ears heroes is a great subject for an illustration. But I don't think that's what's happening here either.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Because not even the party seems all that impressed by their achievement.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The cleric and one of the fighters are playing things up to be more visually striking than they really are, either holding the head up with a look of grim vindication or gawking at it in faux-surprise, respectively. But they try to sell it a little too hard.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8qrc5am0GNXpSB9EZWiZWVG6zJsyr-H_3d83dEPvkqhRiOBakVlkSAH6bDVj8ecviPkcfjRcPuaGLv_5yYrU2aEmds4Jqb8zWgfiTydbSSx85hjFdB96yOm_Pii4qTTY48xtlNBRvup7CibMnGt834wxboTLBjMQKpq9LgvE5pVMbw4tCwOPV487/s321/Faces.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="160" data-original-width="321" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8qrc5am0GNXpSB9EZWiZWVG6zJsyr-H_3d83dEPvkqhRiOBakVlkSAH6bDVj8ecviPkcfjRcPuaGLv_5yYrU2aEmds4Jqb8zWgfiTydbSSx85hjFdB96yOm_Pii4qTTY48xtlNBRvup7CibMnGt834wxboTLBjMQKpq9LgvE5pVMbw4tCwOPV487/s320/Faces.png" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">The elf and the magic-user seem incredulous or slightly uncomfortable, like they have an inkling of what this might look like as they pose with their little kill strung up like wild game.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFMyvoYmOXMHsfCGKWrtC98BxQu6PD1PQ4OAUEaASLCjlIPBq4GoLPhifY0Nf7sprybpr3AL48pyO1izZn2WbrzbcC371ZwzeD9j_ijpmshZVdUVctejzZSJCRTJGb--0sLptv-ppzA3ft-APy1eITj62glVUA4jVzIgawUEezMQMMNLSS2J6qLOXL/s301/Faces2.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="150" data-original-width="301" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFMyvoYmOXMHsfCGKWrtC98BxQu6PD1PQ4OAUEaASLCjlIPBq4GoLPhifY0Nf7sprybpr3AL48pyO1izZn2WbrzbcC371ZwzeD9j_ijpmshZVdUVctejzZSJCRTJGb--0sLptv-ppzA3ft-APy1eITj62glVUA4jVzIgawUEezMQMMNLSS2J6qLOXL/s1600/Faces2.png" width="301" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Are we really doing this...?" "We're really doing this..."</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: left;">About the only one who looks sincerely and thoroughly satisfied with the situation is the other fighter who's busy Jeremiah Johnson'ing up there, although even he has a bit of a smug edge to him. I bet it was his idea to do this.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdLdgGV5P_Dj-O8-qS9qc9zCYVOqa52VasED8n9PAiOI1vV8IedH36sj7tO6cswU_9KOQrHc2CjxWWOLx9PcRX3sakUjv1wBbZ-WgO5P7kACB4T2DPvPWjBLzXPN_6i5vmmZGSm4IKakEu4Dcz971UnfPRB6TJdOcYXUmXs4PV6IBaNs3KYqE-kUAl/s200/Faces3.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdLdgGV5P_Dj-O8-qS9qc9zCYVOqa52VasED8n9PAiOI1vV8IedH36sj7tO6cswU_9KOQrHc2CjxWWOLx9PcRX3sakUjv1wBbZ-WgO5P7kACB4T2DPvPWjBLzXPN_6i5vmmZGSm4IKakEu4Dcz971UnfPRB6TJdOcYXUmXs4PV6IBaNs3KYqE-kUAl/s1600/Faces3.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That post-murder afterglow, yo.</td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: left;">I think there's a good reason why the party seems so iffy on the whole thing, and to answer that I'm going to have to get even more pedantic- let's bring up some 2E Monster Manual stats.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I think it's reasonable to assume that this greenish dragon was an actual Green Dragon. They're fond of sub-tropical and temperate forests, much like the backdrop here, so we'll be using that entry.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Dragons of all types in 2E are divided by age category, which determines things like hit dice, breath weapon, magic abilities, etc. And because TSR was as devoted to statistical minutia as Gygax or Arneson ever were, we are provided with exact body and tail lengths for each age category in each species of dragon.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Green dragons of age category 1 are 2-7 feet long with 2-5 foot long tails. Since the specimen above is shorter than the (admittedly rather tall) male human fighter even when stretched to full length, and the tail is about as long again, it definitely looks like an Age 1 or Hatchling dragon to me.</p><p style="text-align: left;">That puts the dragon's age at time of death somewhere in the range of 0-5 years. That looks bad even in the frame of human years, where at best the dragon was little more than a toddler. But for a species that regularly lives for hundreds, if not thousands of years, this is essentially a newborn, and one of the weakest examples of dragonkind presented in the book.</p><p style="text-align: left;">"But Furt," you may say as you spontaneously animate out of a bale of straw to serve my argument, "even young dragons can still be a challenge for low-level parties." And that's true! This hypothetical infant dragon still has an average of 31 HP, AC 3, and a breath weapon for 2d6+1 damage, even if it's completely lacking in the fear, magic, and magic resistance departments. This hatchling could have easily caused a party wipe- except it clearly didn't.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The party is barely injured in the picture. The elf still has a nearly full quiver of arrows, and no one has any serious battle damage on their gear, with the exception of a pair of pants: of the five members, only the two fighters show any sign of injury, and those only take the form of relatively minor claw marks on the legs. Neither of them look worse for wear, though. You can get nastier scrapes on a hike. Heck, I've bled more than both of them combined after eating slightly spicy food and sniffling myself into a nosebleed.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO8UvcaX2i40I2cRN8dC8KwsqB8XmXzJexYa158WiMYHAoS5aEEczchzEzcG61SJ5Wm4CtxFPHkyAjBkNTsD7bbBPDkbPAv6bExEH_0ADjFMEZEiT1ViNMlAsAMWOTjxmX_u8jlKZs6H5FnCXCpqTVu9ZhgtOP-OF4iHJziXl5rw5S504M67IQTphy/s576/lf%20-%20Copy.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="132" data-original-width="576" height="91" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO8UvcaX2i40I2cRN8dC8KwsqB8XmXzJexYa158WiMYHAoS5aEEczchzEzcG61SJ5Wm4CtxFPHkyAjBkNTsD7bbBPDkbPAv6bExEH_0ADjFMEZEiT1ViNMlAsAMWOTjxmX_u8jlKZs6H5FnCXCpqTVu9ZhgtOP-OF4iHJziXl5rw5S504M67IQTphy/w400-h91/lf%20-%20Copy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">On the topic of blood, the overwhelming majority of stains in this picture seem to be from the dragon's blood. It smears almost everyone's armor and boots, like they had to struggle with the corpse to drag it out of its lair and string it up- at least I hope it was dead before they hanged it. Blood also seeps in drying trails from the dozen or more wounds across all sides of its body. It even wells up from its nostrils and streams down its face, perhaps squeezed out by the pressure of the noose. The battle was one-sided, and its death was not quick. This was less of an epic confrontation, more of an unlucky schoolyard beat-down.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Let's return to the general and green dragon entries one last time:</p><p>"During the early part of a dragon's <b>young adult</b> stage it leaves its parents, greed driving it on to start a lair of its own." (Emphasis mine.)</p><p>"The majority of green dragons encountered will be alone. However, when a mated pair of dragons and their young are encountered, the female will leap to the attack. The male will take the young to a place of safety before joining the fight. The parents are extremely protective of their young, despite their evil nature, and will sacrifice their own lives to save their offspring."</p><p>We've already established that this dragon was way too small to have been young adult (over 80' long from nose to tail for a green dragon), so we can assume that this one was not only a hatchling, but also an <i>orphan</i>. Maybe it got forced out by stresses at the family lair, or maybe some band of higher-level adventurers already merc'd mom and dad in that order; whatever the cause, our heroes killed a dragon that should not have been alone under normal circumstances.</p><p>Hell, maybe that tiny crate is all the hatchling had to remember its slaughtered family by.</p><p>... Okay, that one's a bit of a stretch, even for me.</p><p>All told, a party of professional murderers mildly inconvenienced itself to kill an abandoned child and steal its paltry collection of trinkets, then decided to brag about it. To me they're less like role models to aspire to, and more like those retired cops who drive up here from the Boroughs every hunting season looking to act tough, but all they really do is spend an entire weekend getting drunk in a deer stand before accidentally shooting a fawn and taking a selfie with it anyway.</p><p>I'm coming down on this piece so hard partly because Elmore already accomplished this same goal years earlier. He did that with his cover art for the 1983 D&D Basic set, popularly known as the Red Box. (Side note, it takes a <i>lot</i> for me to willingly compliment BECMI. It's by far my least favorite edition/continuum of editions.)</p><p>That piece, which depicts a lone fighter battling a very alive red dragon in its far more opulent hoard, feels like a more effective inspiration for new players. The fighter is obviously either a higher level than the AD&D party (or just suicidally brave), but it still hits on all the same points in order to grip and inspire a new player: there's danger to be surmounted, treasure to be claimed, and yes, there is a dragon inside a dungeon.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpX0YdixHyhQrcik3_-BarB2mhkEIhWLSjqX0vMO-UzmruCgEysqk2qQrXbz4-7R6W-Gjs42fPYaYkMsHKpEYTw7ZYPMH-GIr6LUYo-MQcV4XOhxfFFP8KFzvjh5lrS66hJApp0jKV2eu-qH892Zp18PtLG-Y8mHQ3Kdr-2sODj8w0MWyCgp83kPLm/s800/71a5BsoYYiL-e1538882909447.jpg"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpX0YdixHyhQrcik3_-BarB2mhkEIhWLSjqX0vMO-UzmruCgEysqk2qQrXbz4-7R6W-Gjs42fPYaYkMsHKpEYTw7ZYPMH-GIr6LUYo-MQcV4XOhxfFFP8KFzvjh5lrS66hJApp0jKV2eu-qH892Zp18PtLG-Y8mHQ3Kdr-2sODj8w0MWyCgp83kPLm/s320/71a5BsoYYiL-e1538882909447.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">The way some of the edges bleed out past the frame also just looks quite nice. The dragon reaching out helps to include the observer in the artwork, as if the scene might be from the perspective of one of the fighter's party members, standing behind him for protection. Or perhaps the fighter is stepping into the scene directly out of the observer's imagination?</p><p style="text-align: left;">At this point I've pretty much tapped every last drag of that one art class I half-remember, so I'll just leave it at that.</p>The Furtive Goblinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035758004370733196noreply@blogger.com2